{"id":6529,"date":"2015-01-17T06:04:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-17T11:04:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/whitehindu\/?p=6529"},"modified":"2015-03-13T22:29:39","modified_gmt":"2015-03-14T02:29:39","slug":"missing-ilana-5-years-in","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whitehindu\/2015\/01\/missing-ilana-5-years-in\/","title":{"rendered":"Missing Ilana: 5 years in"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Every year on this day I write about the best friend that I lost in 2010.<\/p>\n

At this point my grief has settled into a groove. Time has healed me somewhat but I think the pain never completely goes away. I still think about Ilana a lot and I think about everything she is missing out on. I wish I could have shared the joys in my life with her and I wish that I could have shared more in the joys of her life. I wish I could have known her children and grandchildren. I wish she had met my husband.<\/p>\n

I miss her advice. I miss her laugh. I miss having that someone that I could talk about anything with.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m surviving and my life is moving forward.<\/p>\n

Someday I\u2019ll be showing her picture to my children and telling them stories about the auntie they\u2019ll never know in person.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m glad that I\u2019m in India this year for the anniversary of her death. Usually I spend the day at home under the covers in bed. This year I\u2019ll be forced to put the grief aside and focus on the present.<\/p>\n

In one way losing her reminds me that life is terrifyingly temporary. In another way I don\u2019t think that her life should have been sacrificed for the sake of other people having insights.<\/p>\n

Life is a gritty experience and it\u2019s hard to\u00a0see the way forward at times.<\/p>\n

I share the story of Ilana with you because I want to share her with others. I want people to keep being able to meet her. She was a bright light in this world.<\/p>\n

\"Ilana<\/a>
Ilana Jonsson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every year on this day I write about the best friend that I lost in 2010. At this point my grief has settled into a groove. Time has healed me somewhat but I think the pain never completely goes away. I still think about Ilana a lot and I think about everything she is missing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1305,"featured_media":3819,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMissing Ilana: 5 years in<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Every year on this day I write about the best friend that I lost in 2010. At this point my grief has settled into a groove. 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