this post <\/a>and it brought up a common discussion in our marriage: that I panic an awful lot. I live with a pretty high level of anxiety and worry. I worry over not doing enough, not being productive enough, not squeezing every bit of meaning out of every moment. I assumed that everyone lives that way but then I met Brad and found out that it is possible to feel content and like you are doing enough. What you are is enough.<\/p>\nAmazing.<\/p>\n
He said what I really already know, that all I have to do is be. Existing and connecting and practicing love, those are all that\u2019s required from me. He said something else that I hadn\u2019t considered, though. He said that all I need to do is be true to my nature and at times it is in my nature to panic. And that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n
We also started talking about my feelings of not being ready to be the age I am or the stage of life that I am. I don\u2019t feel ready to relinquish the spotlight of my journey and progress to the next generation. I feel that being in my thirties there is an expectation that I become the support character to the younger generation\u2019s movie. Brad doesn\u2019t feel that, though. He said perhaps it\u2019s because he always felt that he was meant to be a support role: a guide, a teacher, a mentor. And he is. He is fulfilling the purpose he always felt within him, to be a teacher. I am not yet fulfilling the purpose that I\u2019ve always felt within me. And that\u2019s out of my control.<\/p>\n
Maybe these feelings of discomfort with the passage of time will ease when I am finally a mother. I\u2019ve seen myself in that role my whole life and five years ago I felt ready to step into that role I was always meant to play. But all these years later I\u2019m still not there.<\/p>\n
Once we finally manage to become parents it will be interesting to see if I settle into life more, feel more connected, grounded, and in \u201cthe right place.\u201d In the mean time I need to practice accepting who I am and where I\u2019m at, forgiving myself for my panicking, and practice being comfortable with just being.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My husband and I were talking about this post and it brought up a common discussion in our marriage: that I panic an awful lot. I live with a pretty high level of anxiety and worry. I worry over not doing enough, not being productive enough, not squeezing every bit of meaning out of every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1305,"featured_media":7689,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[121,2356,6,53,2355,2359,2358,2357],"class_list":["post-7686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inside-the-life","tag-ambaa","tag-being-human","tag-hindu","tag-hinduism","tag-just-being","tag-life-purpose","tag-purpose","tag-what-we-are-meant-to-do"],"yoast_head":"\n
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