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<\/a><\/div>\nTo make a point about how our fixed identities can make us unhappy, for example, he tells one about a cowboy on a park bench. \u201c\u2026 A woman comes and sits down next to him. She looks at his hat and boots and says, \u2018Are you a real cowboy?\u2019 He answers, \u2018Well, I\u2019ve worked on ranches tending cows and horses all my life, so, yep, I guess I\u2019m a real cowboy.\u2019 She thinks for a moment and then says, \u2018I\u2019m a lesbian. I think about women when I wake up. I think about them all day long. And I think about them when I\u2019m going to sleep.\u2019 After they talk a little more she gets up and leaves. Some time later a man comes along and sits down next to him on the bench, checks him out, and asks, \u2018Are you really a cowboy?\u2019 \u2018Well,\u2019 he answers, \u2018I used to think I was, but now I think I\u2019m a lesbian.'\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n The practice Bayda encourages is asking three questions: Am I truly happy right now? What blocks happiness? And can I surrender to what is?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Reminded me of Byron Katie\u2019s four questions: <\/span>Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it\u2019s true? How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Who would you be without the thought?<\/span> \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
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Beyond Happiness: The Zen Way to True Contentment<\/i> is a clearly written, warm book with lots a specific instructions for working with unhappiness.\u00a0 Ezra Bayda studied Zen with Joko Beck and his book reads much like Joko\u2019s books, although without the occasional bite. He also shares generously from his own process, grounding the book nicely,<\/span><\/span> and adding an occasional joke \u2013 which I found myself looking for as I read.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n