{"id":2650,"date":"2014-09-02T09:49:02","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T15:49:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/wildfoxzen\/?p=2650"},"modified":"2014-09-02T13:15:27","modified_gmt":"2014-09-02T19:15:27","slug":"compassionate-with-others-strict-with-the-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wildfoxzen\/2014\/09\/compassionate-with-others-strict-with-the-self.html","title":{"rendered":"Compassionate with Others, Strict with the Self"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/88\/2014\/09\/photo-3.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2652\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/88\/2014\/09\/photo-3-300x193.jpg\" alt=\"photo-3\" width=\"300\" height=\"193\"><\/a>Today was the first day for morning zazen (aka, \u201cWake the Heck Up! Morning Zazen\u201d) for <a href=\"http:\/\/www.greattideszen.com\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Great Tides Zen<\/a> here in Portland, ME. We walked down the wharf and into the Pierce Atwood Building with the lobster fishermen and seagulls.<\/p>\n<p>Seven people showed up and it was a lovely session.<\/p>\n<p>Getting up early enough to be at zazen and in our seats at 5:25am might sound rather severe. A\u00a0phrase that Katagiri Roshi used often in guiding our practice comes to mind \u2013 \u201cBe compassionate with others and strict with the self.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Katagiri Roshi modelled this phrase in how he lived (especially in terms of \u201cstrict with the self\u201d), as have other teachers in my life, like James Myoun Ford Roshi (especially in terms of \u201ccompassionate with others\u201d).<\/p>\n<p>This phrase has also come up in our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wildfoxzen\/2014\/08\/guidelines-for-studying-the-way-online-course-begins-september-15th.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">Vine of Obstacles: Online Support for Zen Training<\/a>\u00a0practice meetings as we move toward our second home-based practice period and the cohort version of our primer, \u201cGuidelines for Studying the Way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Some\u00a0of Katagiri Roshi\u2019s students, especially the therapists, would argue with him about this dictum, suggesting that instead we need to be compassionate with others <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">and<\/span> compassionate with ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>And there certainly is something important there too. Many of us come to Zen practice with self-hatred issues and (mis)use the strictness of <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/88\/2014\/09\/kyosaku.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2651\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/88\/2014\/09\/kyosaku-300x162.jpg\" alt=\"kyosaku\" width=\"300\" height=\"162\"><\/a>practice as support for practicing this painful pathology.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStrictness though, may not be quite the right word \u2013 \u201c<span style=\"color: #222222;\">demanding that rules concerning behavior are obeyed and observed\u201d or else you\u2019ll be whacked (in the traditional Japanese model, not at Great Tides Zen) in not always such a \u201clight tap\u201d way. Perhaps \u201cfirmness\u201d fits better as one of the foci. As such it is an aspect of the <i style=\"color: #252525;\"><a style=\"color: #0b0080;\" title=\"\u015a\u012bla\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/%C5%9A%C4%ABla\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u015a\u012bla<\/a>\u00a0<\/i>\u00a0paramita \u2013 the perfection of precepts \u2013 and it\u2019s about living in vow, actualizing our innermost request. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #222222;\">\u201cCompassion\u201d also might be tuned a bit. I see it here as \u201caccepting\u201d as in accepting of others and firm with oneself. As such it is the <i style=\"color: #252525;\"><a style=\"color: #0b0080;\" title=\"Kshanti\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kshanti\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"Unicode\" title=\"International Alphabet of Sanskrit Transliteration\">K\u1e63\u0101nti<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/i>paramita \u2013 the\u00a0perfection of patience, and it\u2019s about the not-two nature of self and other.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Certainly there are times when it is important\u00a0to be\u00a0firm\u00a0with others and accepting with ourselves \u2013 like in parenting.<\/p>\n<p>There are also those moments when firm with others and firm with the self is fitting. Take the situation of the two cute monks in the drawing. They look a lot like each other and that seems like a clue. In their respective positions, the one who taps and the one who is about to be tapped, firmness is vital. As is acceptance.<\/p>\n<p>In zazen we see how our propensities to pander to our projected distortions are profound and pernicious. All of this we radically accept. Yet if we are to turn around, swim upstream through these karmic predispositions and realize ourselves, a considerable degree of firmness with our intention for this one great life\u00a0is necessary.<\/p>\n<p>In our practice, we learn acceptance in firmness and firmness in acceptance.<\/p>\n<p>So each of the four combinations for accepting and being firm, applied to self and other, has it\u2019s place. Should I get up and go to zazen this morning or stay in bed? Should I go to sesshin or take care of family or career responsibilities. Acceptance and firmness\u00a0are one set of foci in practice that work in dynamic, intimate conversation.<\/p>\n<p>There is no one right answer and so we learn by experimenting, tuning the violin of practice with the accepting\/firm t<span style=\"color: #252525;\">uning\u00a0<\/span>peg,<span style=\"color: #252525;\">\u00a0increasing or decreasing the\u00a0<\/span>tension<span style=\"color: #252525;\">\u00a0on string so as to control the pitch.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today was the first day for morning zazen (aka, \u201cWake the Heck Up! Morning Zazen\u201d) for Great Tides Zen here in Portland, ME. We walked down the wharf and into the Pierce Atwood Building with the lobster fishermen and seagulls. Seven people showed up and it was a lovely session. Getting up early enough to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2650","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Compassionate with Others, Strict with the Self<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Today was the first day for morning zazen (aka, &quot;Wake the Heck Up! Morning Zazen&quot;) for Great Tides Zen here in Portland, ME. 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