Growing up in the Catholic Church is akin to being beaten with a stick every single day. Every day Catholic children are reminded of what is wrong with them. They learn from a young age that everything fun in life can be equated to sin. Believing in God is not a ticket to heaven for Catholics. Catholics must refrain from all mortal sins to get to heaven. Ten sins are so ridiculous many Catholics can’t go a day without committing one.
How is a mortal sin determined?
- a sin of grave matter
- sin that is committed with full knowledge of the sinner
- the sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner
The second and third points are self-explanatory. However, what is a grave sin? Well, lucky for you the church has a long list of a sin that is considered grave. A grave sin becomes mortal when the “sinner” meets all three criteria.
Here are some of the ridiculous grave sins that can keep a Catholic out of Heaven:
Blasphemy – Or in today’s jargon, taking the Lord’s name in vain. Yep, if you defile the name of the lord or speak ill of God, you will burn in hell.
Using Birth Control – Birth control is prohibited for sexually active married couples. Sex is seen only as a vehicle to procreate more offspring. If you are Catholic, you better not have sex for pleasure. Any Catholic that prevents pregnancy in any form commits a mortal sin. This is why you commonly see Catholic families with what seems like 87 children.
Divorce – Married Catholics cannot divorce. Even if a marital partner is abusive, cheating, or emotionally absent, divorce is considered a mortal sin. This could explain why you see so many miserable couples remaining married in the Catholic Church.
A miserable marriage most certainly won’t affect the children and their wellbeing?
Wait, maybe that’s why so many families in the Catholic church are miserable and dysfunctional.
Makes perfect sense.
Masturbation – The Catholic Church thinks people that stroke one out are immature and incapable of self-control. Catholics are required to live chaste lives. Can you imagine how many teenage boys hide their “socks” from their moms?
Heresy – If a Baptized Catholic questions or denies any doctrine of the church they commit heresy. Well, that sounds a little bit culty, doesn’t it? Sure does! Members that question or doubt a “revealed truth” of the church are kept outside of Heaven.
Schism – If you thought Heresy was culty, schism takes things to the next level. Catholics must submit to the Pope no matter what. If a Catholic refuses to submit and obey the Pope, they commit a mortal sin. Even if a Pope is doing crazy things like not protecting children from being raped or sodomized, a Catholic is not allowed to question him or disobey his orders.
Practicing Magic – Gotta a cool card trick? Want to pull a rabbit out of a hat? If you are Catholic practicing magic in any form, is a ticket straight to hell.
Hatred – Do you have a neighbor that pisses you off? Well, if you are Catholic, you are not allowed to hate them. If you wish the person harm, you can go to hell. Do you understand what I’m saying here? A Catholic’s thoughts can send them to hell.
Getting Drunk – Tipping back one too many beers will send a Catholic straight to hell. The Catholic Church feels drunkenness is an endangerment to the life of the Catholic. Unfortunately, I know all too well that many Catholics commit this mortal sin every single weekend. I guess half of my dead ancestors are dancing in hell.Drug Usage – Catholics are prohibited from using drugs of any kind unless it’s for medical reasons. I have a feeling there are a lot of Catholic’s in the world shaking in their boots with this revelation.
Catholicism makes it pretty hard for their members to get to heaven. Based on the above list, I know very few people that could actually meet the mark.
Heck, if you read the grand jury report released from Pennsylvania this week, Cardinals, Bishops, and Priests are missing out on the afterlife. Since there is proof the cover-up of the child sexual abuse scandal went all the way up to the Vatican, even the Pope is missing out on Heaven.
My guess is if there is a Catholic Heaven, the room is empty except for a dude named Jesus.
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