{"id":101,"date":"2012-01-19T11:29:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-19T11:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/midterms-and-catastrophic-thinking\/"},"modified":"2012-01-19T11:29:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-19T11:29:00","slug":"midterms-and-catastrophic-thinking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/midterms-and-catastrophic-thinking\/","title":{"rendered":"Midterms and Catastrophic Thinking"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/p>\n

A couple days ago, I read a great blog by Adele Calhoun,\u00a0An Invitation from God:\u00a0 Healing from Catastrophic Thinking<\/a>.\u00a0 It came at the perfect time, because it\u2019s high school midterm week and my daughter\u2019s living my recurring nightmare.\u00a0 The one where I forgot to attend math class all term and have to take the final. \u00a0Or the history nightmare where, I also forgot to read all the books.\"\"<\/div>\n
In the seconds I\u2019m capable of reason, I know her situation isn\u2019t close to my nightmare. \u00a0She\u2019s most probably not going to flunk any midterms, and certainly no classes. \u00a0She\u2019s far more disciplined than I was back in high school. \u00a0But it\u2019s been a tough semester, and in the Northeast air we breathe, with parents stressing about tutoring, and private college counselors, and providing enriching experiences so their kids look good on applications. . . let\u2019s just say it\u2019s been stressful.<\/div>\n
There\u2019s nothing like midterms and a high schooler to send me over the edge when I obsess about long-term consequences.\u00a0 If she doesn\u2019t do well sophomore year, her grades will affect her college prospects, which will affect her opportunities, which will affect her job prospects, which will. . .<\/div>\n
There are so many ways I can veer towards catastrophic thinking for my kids:<\/div>\n
    \n
  • If my children don\u2019t stop chewing with their mouths open, no one will ever want to be their friend or marry them<\/li>\n
  • If my daughter doesn\u2019t take more risks socially, she\u2019ll end up as a recluse playing Farmville on FB with imaginary friends all day<\/li>\n
  • If my kids don\u2019t learn how to cope with their anxiety, they\u2019re going to end up clinically depressed, medicated and become non-functioning adults<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
    Clearly there are problems with my thinking\u2014most notably that when I get in the ruts of worry, I forget that there\u2019s a loving God who cares about my kids more than me and holds their futures close to heart.<\/div>\n
    Ironically, I\u2019m also tempted to ignore \u201clittle things\u201d that really could have significant long-term catastrophic consequences:<\/div>\n
      \n
    • Not forgiving or facing conflicts with husband, kids or friends so that little bitternesses grow into big ones.<\/li>\n
    • Sliding on healthy eating and exercise so that I end up with diabetes, heart disease and all sorts of other health consequences<\/li>\n
    • Focusing exclusively on kids\u2019 performances, so that they conclude I love them for what they achieve rather than who they are, as exemplified by my high schooler wailing \u201cWhy do you only talk to me about school and grades these days!!!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
      Adele writes:<\/div>\n
      \n
      I am, in my deepest self, God\u2019s beloved. There is nothing I can do to make him love me more. And there is nothing I can do to make him love me less. No matter what the weather of my soul I am constantly the beloved.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
      I\u2019m loved. \u00a0My daughter\u2019s loved. \u00a0Nothing can change that fact. \u00a0We\u2019re going to be OK.<\/div>\n
      So I\u2019m trying to take a deep breath.\u00a0 To remind myself I\u2019m not living a nightmare, and neither is she. \u00a0T0 release my kids, their future, and yes, even midterms to God.<\/div>\n
      What is the appropriate level of parent involvement in these crucial teen years? \u00a0How do you manage your worry and not burden your child? \u00a0What role does God play in all this?<\/em><\/div>\n
      This was first posted on What She Said<\/b><\/em><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      A couple days ago, I read a great blog by Adele Calhoun,\u00a0An Invitation from God:\u00a0 Healing from Catastrophic Thinking.\u00a0 It came at the perfect time, because it\u2019s high school midterm week and my daughter\u2019s living my recurring nightmare.\u00a0 The one where I forgot to attend math class all term and have to take the final. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1263,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMidterms and Catastrophic Thinking<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A couple days ago, I read a great blog by Adele Calhoun, An Invitation from God:  Healing from Catastrophic Thinking.  It came at the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/midterms-and-catastrophic-thinking\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Midterms and Catastrophic Thinking\" 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