{"id":109,"date":"2011-12-29T13:54:00","date_gmt":"2011-12-29T13:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2011\/12\/new-years-transformations-instead-of-resolutions\/"},"modified":"2011-12-29T13:54:00","modified_gmt":"2011-12-29T13:54:00","slug":"new-years-transformations-instead-of-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2011\/12\/new-years-transformations-instead-of-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"New Year\u2019s Transformations instead of Resolutions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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With trepidation I stepped on the scale this morning and sure enough, learned that I\u2019ve gained 4 pounds in the past five days.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I get for feasting with 33 of my relatives over Christmas as we celebrated my uncle and aunt\u2019s 50th<\/sup>\u00a0wedding anniversary.<\/div>\n
Like so many others, my New Year\u2019s resolutions should include losing 10 lbs and exercising more in 2012.\u00a0 Yet after spending 5 days with 3 generations ranging in age from 7 months to 79, I\u2019m struck by how much more than New Year\u2019s Resolutions, I need New Year\u2019s Transformations.<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
One of my favorite current day sages, Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan monk, says that the typical trajectory of life is towards bitterness.\u00a0 Our hurts, disappointments, betrayals, and disasters will embitter us unless we allow God to heal and transform our pain.\u00a0 Even worse, Rohr says:<\/div>\n
\n
If we don\u2019t transform our pain we will transmit it<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
There\u2019s been pain.<\/div>\n
    \n
  • Dislocation of my grandparents and parents\u2019 generation from China to the West with the cultural struggle, poverty, racism, and confusion that followed.<\/li>\n
  • The death of 2 uncles, one because of alcoholism, the other because of cancer<\/li>\n
  • Hard marriages<\/li>\n
  • Mental illness<\/li>\n
  • Missteps and mistakes in parenting<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
    My grandfather, once called the Virgin Prince back in China because of his regal manner and refusal to dabble in women, held incredible potential in his youth\u2014a Harvard Ph.D., connections to the highest echelons of government\u2014he was part of leading China in ways none of his progeny can ever imagine.<\/div>\n
    Yet over the 19 years we both lived, I mostly remember him sitting in his pajamas listening to NPR, reading the New York Times or the Chinese newspaper, and yelling at his grandchildren every time we made too much of a ruckus.<\/div>\n
    His dreams for greatness died when the Communists took over China, and that disappointment overshadowed the blessings of his remarkable spunky wife, 5 children, 15 grandchildren, and new life in America.<\/div>\n
    It\u2019s funny to notice the choices my generation has made in light of our crazy families, all sorts of different choices about money, lifestyle, relationships, parenting, and faith. \u00a0Sometimes we\u2019ve reacted to our parents.\u00a0 Sometimes we\u2019ve embodied the exact patterns of behavior we couldn\u2019t stand even though we tried so hard to be different.<\/div>\n
    Yet the saving grace in my family, amidst all the pain and disappointment, has been an incredible sense of love.\u00a0 And it\u2019s pretty clear that those who\u2019ve been most lavish with love seem also the most content, the least bitter, and the most filled with life, even if they weigh too much with bodies as soft as playdoh.<\/div>\n
    So this New Year\u2019s I\u2019m wondering if my best resolution could be to offer my pain for transformation each time I feel it. \u00a0Choosing to feel pain rather than stuffing it. \u00a0Choosing to mourn, to forgive, to come out of denial. \u00a0Choosing to talk to Jesus through it all, to reconcile if possible, to forgive yet again. \u00a0Choosing to risk.<\/div>\n
    Exercising and dieting through it all, of course.<\/div>\n
    What are your resolutions?\u00a0\u00a0 What might choosing transformation look like in your life?<\/em><\/div>\n
    This first appeared on What She Said<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

    <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    With trepidation I stepped on the scale this morning and sure enough, learned that I\u2019ve gained 4 pounds in the past five days.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I get for feasting with 33 of my relatives over Christmas as we celebrated my uncle and aunt\u2019s 50th\u00a0wedding anniversary. Like so many others, my New Year\u2019s resolutions should include […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1263,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nNew Year\u2019s Transformations instead of Resolutions<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"With trepidation I stepped on the scale this morning and sure enough, learned that I\u2019ve gained 4 pounds in the past five days.  That\u2019s what I get for\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2011\/12\/new-years-transformations-instead-of-resolutions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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