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{"id":340,"date":"2013-03-09T22:36:31","date_gmt":"2013-03-10T03:36:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/?p=340"},"modified":"2013-03-10T10:49:42","modified_gmt":"2013-03-10T14:49:42","slug":"home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2013\/03\/home\/","title":{"rendered":"Home"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"\"$ <\/a>Home has always been a struggle for me.\u00a0 When I was young it was plain old unsafe.\u00a0 As soon as I realized I could spend a great deal of time at my friends\u2019 homes (which was about 7th grade), I did. \u00a0 I noticed whose homes were safe, whose parents treated me sideways, whose home was warm, stocked & safe and whose was sterile, hostile and unforgiving.<\/p>\n

I never thought much about what my own home would be like until I started to watch my best friends get married & I unhelpfully assumed I\u2019d find the same marital bliss and my home would be a warm, welcoming hub of activity and well behaved children.\u00a0 I have been known for my naivite\u2019, you\u2019ll have to forgive me.<\/p>\n

Here I am now, married nearly 13 years, two boys in tow, living in a home where seems thing to have gotten out of hand.\u00a0 Both my unsupported expectations and my clutter in equal measure.\u00a0 Yes, I do believe my children feel safe and loved and that should feel good enough for me but it doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 I never wanted to be Susie HomeMaker but I also never thought I\u2019d be Clara Clutter or Missy Mess. Also, Unorganized Una.<\/p>\n

In the last two weeks, I\u2019ve been listening to Gretchen Rubin\u2019s latest offering, Happier at Home where she kicks her original Happiness Project up a notch by focusing a great deal of energy creating resolutions which she believes will bring greater happiness to her home life, marriage & children.\u00a0 I want to beg, borrow & steal every idea she has for making my home a happier place too.\u00a0 Certainly clearing clutter, making a clean office space or a weekly date with your children aren\u2019t her original ideas<\/em> but I can\u2019t help but wonder if I\u2019d work harder or be more successful at home-making if I\u2019d had a model of it growing up\u2026and then it would be easier to carry out the types of things Gretchen carried out in her home happiness project.<\/p>\n

If, if if is a nasty game to play.<\/p>\n

When it comes to what I did and didn\u2019t have growing up I can get caught in all the shame traps pretty easily especially when I start thinking of the lack of routines and discipline I don<\/em>\u2018t enforce.\u00a0 I wonder sometimes, when I\u2019m talking about (or merely pontificating) about clearing the clutter in our home, moving (because our home has become far too small for us), cooking regularly or any other good thing, if folks believe I feel I must do this to fulfill some grand home-making identity.\u00a0 As far as I can tell, it\u2019s not that.<\/p>\n

As far as I can tell, I want to teach myself to make traditions and home a stable environment for my husband and children. And for me too, precisely because I didn\u2019t have it growing up. In addition to not having a safe, loving, trusting environment I want something different for myself and my kiddos and that has to be okay.<\/p>\n

I try to believe in my motives, and pray the Lord keeps me pure as I seek the stability which I desperately desire for our home.\u00a0 Even if my motives become somewhat shady, what will it have hurt for me to put in the effort to make our home a better place?<\/p>\n

Everyday that goes by, I continue to feel a sense of heaviness surrounding this issue.\u00a0 I suppose it has a little something to do with being actually cluttered,<\/em> with knowing no one is coming round to fix all our problems, knowing we likely won\u2019t be able to afford to move for 2 more years at least and that I don\u2019t feel like I know what I\u2019m doing in home keeping.\u00a0 So.\u00a0 I\u2019d say I\u2019m suffering through a healthy dose of paralzying fear in an area I can\u2019t seem to gain control over.<\/p>\n

Like most things in life, I need willingness to work hard, read widely, fill up on resources, gain support, push through the challenges and DO. At least then, one day, I can tell myself and my kiddos that I did my absolute best in making our house a home even if I wind up falling short.<\/p>\n

Do you struggle or excel in homemaking tasks? What helped you to get to where you want to be or what\u2019s keeping you from it?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"