{"id":54,"date":"2012-07-12T11:22:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-12T11:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/"},"modified":"2012-07-12T11:22:00","modified_gmt":"2012-07-12T11:22:00","slug":"the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/","title":{"rendered":"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/p>\n

I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.\u00a0 No talks, no snacks, no colleagues who can pinch-hit for me.\u00a0 So I wing it\u2014through sheer force of personality, I offer scintillating thoughts\u2014and know I\u2019m completely failing. \u00a0Maybe I\u2019m finally growing up\u2013until a couple weeks ago, my recurring nightmare was always academic\u2014that I forgot to attend either a history or math class until the week before finals.<\/div>\n
Both recurring nightmares share the same theme\u2013irresponsibility.\u00a0 I\u2019ve failed to prepare and I\u2019m going to pay the consequence\u2014as will those forced to listen to me.<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
I was the irresponsible child in the family. \u00a0I started things and didn\u2019t finish them; I repeatedly lost (and thankfully re-found) my gym sneakers; I hated and resisted chores.\u00a0 Even worse, as the oldest child, I didn\u2019t sacrifice for my younger siblings as a properly filial older child should\u2014the epitome of Chinese irresponsibility.<\/div>\n
Imagine my surprise when my youth pastor told me I was the most responsible kid he knew, and then years\u00a0later taking\u00a0Strengthsfinder<\/a>and responsibility being one of my five highest strengths.<\/div>\n
Clearly I\u2019m overcompensating.<\/div>\n
I feel a lot of ambivalence around responsibility\u2013it\u2019s so weighty and can seem antithetical to Jesus\u2019s gospel of grace. \u00a0Yet I\u2019ve been wondering lately whether women aren\u2019t taking up our God-given responsibilities\u2013especially for our own calls,\u00a0gifts and abilities.\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

On one hand, women are the most responsible folks around\u2014we take care of everyone!\u00a0 We take care of our parents, our neighbors, our friends, our churches, our volunteer organizations and our colleagues.<\/div>\n
And our kids?\u00a0 Forget it.\u00a0 Our overweening obsession with whether these music lessons, or that soccer team, or this academic opportunity will help my children flourish and become all they\u2019re meant to be is proof of just how much responsibility we assume for those we love.<\/div>\n
Yet all that caregiving can mean we don\u2019t take responsibility for our own unique contribution to the world\u2014outside of care-giving. \u00a0We need care-givers, but we also need women to do much more.<\/div>\n
Sometimes I wonder whether women who cling to more hierarchical views of leadership and marriage do so because they don\u2019t have to feel responsible for their own potential.\u00a0 It\u2019s their husband\u2019s job.\u00a0 If God says we can\u2019t lead or teach or work, we don\u2019t have to feel responsible for burying our talents.<\/div>\n
My ministry\u2019s dealing with the same dilemmas around women rising to senior levels that Anne Marie Slaughter raises in\u00a0Why Women Still Can\u2019t Have It All<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0 Despite our value that women should be at every level of the organization and virtually equal numbers of men and women, the proportion of women decreases the higher you go.\u00a0 Many of the reasons Slaughter writes about apply:\u00a0 increased work hours\/travel, husbands whose jobs aren\u2019t flexible, not wanting to sacrifice that much time with children, organizational obstacles and culture.<\/div>\n
But too often women also don\u2019t take responsibility for our own careers, our own gifts, our own potential.\u00a0 We have 5 year plans (or at least dreams) for our kids but not ourselves.<\/div>\n
And I\u2019m guilty here\u2014I don\u2019t have a 5 year plan other than knowing I\u2019ll be one year from empty nest.<\/div>\n
It\u2019s both awesome and awe-ful that the God of the universe gives us talents and expects us to aid in the work of redeeming this planet.\u00a0 If butterfly wings can start hurricanes, our small little contributions can change the world.<\/div>\n
So women, let\u2019s take responsibility for how God asks us to flap our little wings!<\/div>\n
Now please excuse me as I go write a talk and responsibly attempt to not live out my nightmare. . .<\/div>\n
This was the third of a series of reflections I\u2019m writing based on Ann Marie Slaughter\u2019s Atlantic Monthly story\u00a0Why Women Still Can\u2019t Have It All<\/a>.\u00a0 Read\u00a0The Problem with Having It All<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Why We Need Women (And Others) in Leadership<\/a>.<\/em><\/div>\n
You might also enjoy some of my other thoughts on gender and\/or work:<\/strong><\/div>\n
Annie, Shoot your Gun Already!<\/strong><\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n
Toilet Paper Distribution, or how Equality and Justice aren\u2019t the Same Thing<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n
Boy Parts vs. Girl Parts\u2013More on Gender and Justice<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n
3 Reasons I Work for Money<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n
My Theology of Parenting or Why I Gave Up Being God<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n
This was first posted on What She Said<\/i><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.\u00a0 No talks, no snacks, no colleagues who can pinch-hit for me.\u00a0 So I wing it\u2014through sheer force of personality, I offer scintillating thoughts\u2014and know I\u2019m completely failing. \u00a0Maybe I\u2019m finally growing up\u2013until a couple […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1263,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wordy Nerdy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-12T11:22:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.shericandler.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/responsibility.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/\",\"name\":\"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-12T11:22:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-07-12T11:22:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90\"},\"description\":\"I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/\",\"name\":\"Wordy Nerdy\",\"description\":\"Musings on faith, motherhood and thriving in our multi-cultural modern world\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90\",\"name\":\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/author\/ktuanmaclean\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility","description":"I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility","og_description":"I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/","og_site_name":"Wordy Nerdy","article_published_time":"2012-07-12T11:22:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.shericandler.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/responsibility.png"}],"author":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/","name":"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-07-12T11:22:00+00:00","dateModified":"2012-07-12T11:22:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90"},"description":"I have a new recurring nightmare. I\u2019m supposed to teach some large gathering and I\u2019ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/07\/the-awe-ful-weight-of-responsibility\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The \u201cAwe-ful\u201d Weight of Responsibility"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/","name":"Wordy Nerdy","description":"Musings on faith, motherhood and thriving in our multi-cultural modern world","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90","name":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/author\/ktuanmaclean\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1263"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}