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<\/a>After 18 months of uneventfully nursing my daughter Elle as we go about our daily lives, I\u2019d never received so much as a dirty look from anyone, anywhere.\u00a0 It\u2019s not shocking. Among the highly educated here in New England, baby-wearing and breastfeeding are en vogue.<\/p>\nBut I was just told by the director of my daughter\u2019s daycare that, on the rare occasion when I need to nurse Elle at daycare before leaving for the day, it would be appreciated if I not do so in the toddler room. Smack in the middle of World Breastfeeding Week [A], no less.<\/p>\n
I was told that they just don\u2019t want other families to feel uncomfortable. Perhaps I could nurse Elle in the car?<\/p>\n
Fat chance \u2013 she doesn\u2019t fit across my lap and wiggles out of my arms to get to the steering wheel to \u201cdrive\u201d, the little squirt! Besides, even if the temperature is by some miracle tolerable, would that be your first choice location to have a meal with someone you love?<\/p>\n
According to the director, I could also take my daughter down the hall to nurse in the infant room\u2014more \u201cage appropriate\u201d.\u00a0 The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least age two [B]; how is nursing an 18 month old not age-appropriate? \u00a0Besides, Elle would rather coo at the babies in the infant room instead of nursing.<\/p>\n
You see, breastfeeding is, well, organic: you can\u2019t predict or plan when your child will beg for milk and ignoring her cries comes at a cost (not just working-mommy guilt but sometimes also wet leak-spots on your shirt).\u00a0 During the curious toddler years, it rarely works to just snatch a child up and go to a new location to nurse. \u00a0At least not within commuter-train time constraints. \u00a0I explained this.<\/p>\n
The daycare director became agitated: all the other mothers we have asked have stopped nursing in the toddler room. Don\u2019t you care about how you make others feel?\u00a0 People aren\u2019t used to seeing it. What am I supposed to tell people who are uncomfortable seeing you nurse your daughter.<\/p>\n
And that is the moment I realized why breastfeeding in public matters.<\/p>\n
My answer to her was a question:\u00a0 What do you tell people who are uncomfortable seeing someone pray quietly with their child? What do you tell people who are uncomfortable seeing a gay couple, or a bi-racial couple, drop off their child together? What do you tell people who are uncomfortable seeing someone else\u2019s disabled or disfigured child?\u00a0 Do you ask the \u2018offending\u2019 parents to use the back entrance?\u00a0 Go in another room where no one can see them?<\/p>\n
No. You look the \u2018offended\u2019 person straight in the eye and say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear that it bothers you, but supporting parents in caring for their children is more important to us than protecting you from discomfort.\u201d<\/p>\n
The fact is, I would not have been interrogated if I had given my daughter a cup of milk, or just snuggled her a few minutes upon dropping her off. \u00a0I had pointed out that I\u2019m quite discreet \u2013 I\u2019m in the far corner of the room, completely covered, with my back to everyone; even if I were facing people, no one could possibly see any body parts they don\u2019t regularly see at the beach or a PG movie.<\/p>\n
So really what I was being told was to be respectful of people who are uncomfortable with the idea<\/em> of breastfeeding.\u00a0 And on that point I am willing to stand up for all the other nursing mothers \u2013 those who are less inclined to take a small-scale conflict and turn it into a war against injustice \u2013 and say:<\/p>\nAsking a mother to go elsewhere to nurse her child sends a message to the woman (and everyone else) that nursing a child needs to be hidden from view rather than just being a normal part of everyday life.<\/strong><\/p>\nStatistics for America have improved but are still well below recommendations: 77% of U.S.-born infants begin life breastfeeding but only 16% are still exclusively breastfed at 6 months [C]. The CDC does not even track breastfeeding in the U.S. at 2 years, the WHO-recommended guideline.<\/p>\n
And the lack of mothers nursing in public means that people will continue to think it is not normal and be uncomfortable about it.<\/p>\n
Not convinced? Still queasy about mothers nursing in public?\u00a0 Well, you\u2019re going to have to get over it.<\/p>\n
Society has decided that breastfeeding is important enough \u2013 as a basic human right and a public health issue \u2013 that it overrides your discomfort. Laws in 48 of the 50 states protect a mother\u2019s right to nurse her baby, with or without a cover, whenever and wherever they are otherwise legally allowed to be [D].<\/p>\n
Suggest otherwise to a nursing mother and you could be subject to a fine. Not just in restaurants and parks and stores, but also (gasp!) childcare centers, including a room (double gasp!) intended for feeding and nurturing toddlers.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Anne Carpenter Van Dyk, PhD, is a research scientist and mother.<\/em><\/p>\nLinks:<\/p>\n
[A] http:\/\/www.who.int\/mediacentre\/events\/meetings\/2013\/world_breastfeeding_week\/en\/<\/p>\n
[B] http:\/\/www.who.int\/topics\/breastfeeding\/en\/<\/p>\n
[C] http:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/breastfeeding\/pdf\/2013BreastfeedingReportCard.pdf<\/p>\n
[D] http:\/\/m.ncsl.org\/issues-research\/health\/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx\u00a0\u00a0 West Virginia and Idaho currently lag behind.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Asked not to breastfeed in public, this mom argues back<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":189,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[123,124,5,125],"class_list":["post-625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-breastfeeding","tag-breastfeeding-in-public","tag-parenting","tag-world-breastfeeding-week"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>After 18 months of uneventfully nursing my daughter Elle as we go about our daily lives, I\u2019d never received so much as a dirty look from anyone, anywhere.\u00a0 It\u2019s not shocking. Among the highly educated here in New England, baby-wearing and breastfeeding are en vogue.<\/p>\n