{"id":68,"date":"2012-05-17T14:34:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-17T14:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/05\/mothers-day-gifts-or-why-i-never-get-what-i-want\/"},"modified":"2012-05-17T14:34:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-17T14:34:00","slug":"mothers-day-gifts-or-why-i-never-get-what-i-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/05\/mothers-day-gifts-or-why-i-never-get-what-i-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother’s Day Gifts, or Why I Never Get What I Want"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n
My kids all have \u201cGift Giving\u201d as their language of love.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I do not.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
They love birthday gifts and Christmas gifts,\u00a0special\u00a0treats during the week, little surprises on a shopping trip.\u00a0 And as they\u2019ve gotten older, they also like giving gifts. \u00a0So as my birthday and Mother\u2019s Day came 2 weeks apart, \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d became an ongoing refrain.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cObedience.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Many eye rolls.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 What do you\u00a0really<\/em>\u00a0want?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI\u00a0really<\/em>\u00a0want obedience.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
More huffs, puffs and shaking of heads, \u201cNo, what do you\u00a0really really really<\/em>\u00a0want?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI\u00a0really really really<\/em>\u00a0want obedience.\u00a0 Or if you can\u2019t give me that, cooperation, and if that\u2019s too hard, not fighting with your siblings.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This Mother\u2019s Day, I sent Scott to the monastery because he really needed time away to decompress and pray.\u00a0 He was reluctant to strand me with 3 kids on\u00a0Mother\u2019s Day but I said, \u201cIt\u2019s Mother\u2019s Day, not Wife day. It\u2019s up to the kids whether or how to celebrate.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/span>\n
At 6:30 a.m. Ren (12) plopped onto my bed and fell asleep.\u00a0 I think it was his job to \u201cguard\u201d me.<\/div>\n
Awakened, I decided to watch\u00a0Downton Abbey<\/em>\u00a0on my laptop while trying to ignore the clashing of pots in the kitchen.<\/div>\n
At 7:30, the two girls came in bearing a tray.\u00a0 Kai (14), the only child who\u2019s taken after my obsession with cooking, presented her version of Eggs Canterbury\u2014Eggs benedict with avocado, tomato, jack cheese, turkey, and Canadian bacon.<\/div>\n
\u201cSorry, we have no meat so these are vegetarian Eggs Canterbury,\u201d she said.<\/div>\n
Along with Eggs Canterbury sans meat, they had made my typical granola\/fruit\/yogurt bowl (with 3 times the amount I eat each morning), bananas in orange juice with confectioner\u2019s sugar, and de-caf coffee.<\/div>\n
I may not have the gifts language of love but I do have the food language of love.<\/div>\n
Kai had not made Eggs Canterbury sans meat for anyone else, so everyone wanted bites of mine.\u00a0 But they\u2019re old enough now that they let me eat at least half of it\u2014in years past, Ren would eat my entire breakfast.<\/div>\n
Ling (16) gave me a homemade Mother\u2019s Day card.\u00a0 Inside she wrote:<\/div>\n
\n
Hey Mommerz. . .<\/div>\n
Just wanted to let you know on your very special holiday just for you that I love you SO much!\u00a0 And our family would never be able to function without what you do for us.\u00a0 Cooking, cleaning, reluctantly submitting to my hugs [see\u00a0The Chinese Problem with Hugs<\/a>\u00a0for more background}. . .all very much appreciated.\u00a0 So like most other holidays that we\u2019re supposed to be obedient for you on, we\u2019ll probably fail again today and you\u2019ll be sad.\u00a0 Just want you to know that we all really wish we were good enough to give you that gift.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Wow.\u00a0 Ling encapsulated the human moral quandary.\u00a0 What the Apostle Paul mourns:<\/div>\n
\n
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. . . I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.\u00a0<\/strong>For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do\u2014this I keep on doing. \u00a0(Romans 7: 14, 18-19 TNIV)<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Boy do I get it.\u00a0 I want to be a loving mom who never raises her voice in anger and always has the perfect natural consequence to inappropriate behavior.\u00a0 I want to be a mom who doesn\u2019t cringe when kids pounce on me.\u00a0 I want to be perfect\u2014for their sake\u2014and I\u2019m not.\u00a0 And neither are they.<\/div>\n
I didn\u2019t get perfect obedience nor a huge amount of cooperation that day.\u00a0 I definitely didn\u2019t get peace between siblings.\u00a0 Instead, I received the message that even if they can\u2019t get me what I really want, because they love me, they can give me a plastic flower that opens and closes with \u201cHappy Mother\u2019s Day\u201d in its petals (from Ren), Eggs Canterbury sans meat with a feast (from Kai & Ling), and a note saying how much they try.<\/div>\n
I didn\u2019t get what I wanted, but \u00a0I got something better.<\/div>\n
You might also enjoy:<\/strong><\/div>\n
Chocolate=Lies, Sex=Truth<\/a><\/div>\n
Best Advice I Ever Got<\/a><\/div>\n
3 Reasons I Work for Money<\/a><\/div>\n
Some Reflections on Raising Hapa-Haole Kids<\/a><\/div>\n
Do You Think Chinese Girls are Pretty?<\/a><\/div>\n
This first appeared on What She Said<\/i><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My kids all have \u201cGift Giving\u201d as their language of love. I do not. They love birthday gifts and Christmas gifts,\u00a0special\u00a0treats during the week, little surprises on a shopping trip.\u00a0 And as they\u2019ve gotten older, they also like giving gifts. \u00a0So as my birthday and Mother\u2019s Day came 2 weeks apart, \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1263,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMother's Day Gifts, or Why I Never Get What I Want<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My kids all have \u201cGift Giving\u201d as their language of love.I do not.They love birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, special treats during the week,\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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