{"id":93,"date":"2012-02-13T10:53:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-13T10:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/02\/how-did-i-miss-training-on-barf-cleaning\/"},"modified":"2012-02-13T10:53:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-13T10:53:00","slug":"how-did-i-miss-training-on-barf-cleaning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/02\/how-did-i-miss-training-on-barf-cleaning\/","title":{"rendered":"How did I Miss Training on Barf-Cleaning?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Long ago, when my sister threw up on our nubbly green carpet, I remember being amazed as Mama calmly took care of her and then scrubbed the carpet on her hands and knees. \u00a0I thought, \u201cI\u2019m never going to be able to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

And sure enough. \u00a0I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n

This morning, a kid was practicing piano and made a horrible gurgling sound. \u00a0I happened to be at home rather than the gym because I needed to interview a volunteer at 7 a.m. down near MIT. <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d I said in a not-so-calm voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d And then another retching gulping noise.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet to the toilet!\u201d \u00a0I shouted.<\/p>\n

The kid got there, retching and retching, \u201cI feel like I\u2019m going to throw up but there\u2019s nothing\u2019s coming up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust stay there,\u201d I warned.<\/p>\n

And then the sound changed. \u00a0There certainly was something coming up. \u00a0When the kid stumbled away from the bathroom, I said, \u201cDidn\u2019t you flush the toilet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d <\/p>\n

I followed the kid back to the bathroom and saw to my horror\u2013tomato soup. \u00a0Sorry to be graphic. \u00a0But it was everywhere, all over the toilet, on the walls, on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWere you going to leave that whole mess?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure all you other kind, nice, gentle and sacrificial parents out there would have sent your dear child to bed. \u00a0But I gave my child a bin of Clorox wipes and said, \u201cClean it up.\u201d<\/p>\n

The child made an effort and then tried to escape to bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake a bowl with you!! \u00a0But did you wash your hands first??\u201d<\/p>\n

Because my co-interviewer leaves\u00a0tomorrow\u00a0for\u00a0Costa Rica, there was no way to cancel or change the interview. \u00a0I left the sick kid in bed and the other two getting ready for school with orders to avoid the bathroom. <\/p>\n

During the interview, the volunteer candidate asked about whether we had on-line training modules. \u00a0Sadly, no. \u00a0Although we have all sorts of great training opportunities, thus far we haven\u2019t done well at orienting them towards volunteers, especially volunteers who work a normal schedule. \u00a0And I wonder how many ministry skills can actually be trained through an on-line module. \u00a0Surely it\u2019s most helpful to be trained in person? <\/p>\n

Finishing the interview, I came home, checked on sick kid who\u2019s still in bed but hasn\u2019t thrown up again. . . yet. . . and proceeded to the bathroom. \u00a0As I realized that the nice formerly white bead board around the toilet had tomato soup in all its grooves, and that I needed a toothbrush along with bleach solution and sponge to restore the walls to their former white glory, I thought, \u201cI haven\u2019t been trained in this. \u00a0Where\u2019s my neat training module?\u201d<\/p>\n

The toilet\u2019s scrubbed. \u00a0The beadboard\u2019s been toothbrushed over. \u00a0The grout and tile wiped. \u00a0The garbage can, magazine rack, toilet plunger and toilet scrub brush all disinfected. . . \u00a0I hope. \u00a0But I fear I might have missed something. \u00a0I needed training here. <\/p>\n

Or better yet, a trainer who would have led the way and done it for me so I could observe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Not our bathroom, but you get the picture.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Long ago, when my sister threw up on our nubbly green carpet, I remember being amazed as Mama calmly took care of her and then scrubbed the carpet on her hands and knees. \u00a0I thought, \u201cI\u2019m never going to be able to do that.\u201d And sure enough. \u00a0I\u2019m not. This morning, a kid was practicing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1263,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHow did I Miss Training on Barf-Cleaning?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Long ago, when my sister threw up on our nubbly green carpet, I remember being amazed as Mama calmly took care of her and then scrubbed the carpet on her\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/02\/how-did-i-miss-training-on-barf-cleaning\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta 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