{"id":99,"date":"2012-01-26T10:33:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-26T10:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/"},"modified":"2012-01-26T10:33:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-26T10:33:00","slug":"who-works-the-hardest-around-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Works the Hardest Around here?"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><!--StartFragment--> <\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;text-align: center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.activegarage.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/Hard-Work-Ant.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"247\" src=\"https:\/\/www.activegarage.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/Hard-Work-Ant.jpg\" width=\"320\"><\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\">\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.<span>\u00a0 <\/span>With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the hardest working member of the family always get asked to do the most work?\u201d<\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\">\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">I thought, \u201cWow!\u00a0 My child has finally recognized what I do around here!\u201d<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">Then I realized my child was NOT referring to me.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">Now, our kids work, often quite diligently, especially in school.\u00a0 They\u2019re incredibly helpful when babysitting or volunteering or even camping with youth group.\u00a0 But when it comes to household chores in\u00a0<em>our<\/em>\u00a0house, our home can feel like a warzone, parents against kids, with neither side about to wave the white flag.\u00a0 The kids shriek that no one\u2019s doing their fair share each night with kitchen cleaning.\u00a0\u00a0 They take 45 minutes to do what could easily take 10 just because of all the bickering, accusations and sloth.\u00a0 They whine that no other kids in our town have to clean, wipe, sweep, vacuum, scrub, shovel, or weed.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">Scott often thinks we need Nanny 911.\u00a0 I wish Mary Poppins would magically appear singing \u201cA Spoonful of Sugar\u201d while dishes magically clean themselves.\u00a0 We are the familial example of how joyful tilling in the Garden of Eden became painful toil when sin entered the world.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">Since then I\u2019ve realized this child has internalized the biggest ongoing stupid fight in our marriage.\u00a0\u00a0 We don\u2019t accuse the other of not working hard enough, recognizing we both work really hard\u2014at day job, in home life, as parents.\u00a0 Instead we accuse the other of not\u00a0<em>appreciating<\/em>\u00a0how hard we work.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">I whine that Scott doesn\u2019t appreciate that I:<\/div>\n<ul style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;font-size: 16px;line-height: 16px;margin-bottom: -5px;margin-left: 20px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 5px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px\">\n<li>Shop: food, clothes, school supplies, household supplies, etc.<\/li>\n<li>Manage all our schedules<\/li>\n<li>cook<\/li>\n<li>step in on snow and sick days<\/li>\n<li>Keep track of school, doctors, dentists, piano lessons, swimming etc.<\/li>\n<li>All while holding down a job.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">He whines that I don\u2019t appreciate that he:<\/div>\n<ul style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;font-size: 16px;line-height: 16px;margin-bottom: -5px;margin-left: 20px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 5px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px\">\n<li>works a full-time high-pressured day job<\/li>\n<li>manages the trash (we don\u2019t have trash pick-up in our town)<\/li>\n<li>Ensures the house doesn\u2019t fall apart<\/li>\n<li>Keeps the pool clean and running (why anyone in New England has a pool that can only be used 2.5 months\/year is a constant question)<\/li>\n<li>Maintains all technology<\/li>\n<li>Picks-up and organizes most of the detritus that floats around our house<\/li>\n<li>Oversees the kids every morning while I go to the gym<\/li>\n<li>All while managing everything each time my nice flexible job takes me out of town or out at night.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">It\u2019s a useless bicker-fest that\u2019s the result of being over-tired.\u00a0 From working so hard.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">It helps when we stop and say \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 It helps when someone says, \u201cWow, you\u2019ve been working really hard, why don\u2019t you take a long hot bath and I\u2019ll help the kids clean the kitchen?\u201d\u00a0 (Sadly for him, usually it\u2019s Scott who says that)<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\">So maybe that\u2019s the next step\u2014appreciating what each member of our family contributes and thanking them for it.\u00a0 Especially since we\u2019re each the hardest working member of the family.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;font-weight: normal;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\"><em>How does your family get its work done?\u00a0 How do you motivate kids?\u00a0 How do you create teamwork and togetherness through drudgery?<\/em><\/div>\n<div style=\"color: #333333;font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;line-height: 24px;margin-bottom: 0px;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 15px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-top: 0px;text-decoration: none\"><em><b>This was first posted on What She Said<\/b><\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--EndFragment--><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.\u00a0 With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the hardest working member of the family always get asked to do the most work?\u201d I thought, \u201cWow!\u00a0 My child has finally recognized what I do around here!\u201d Then I realized [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1263,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Who Works the Hardest Around here?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.&nbsp; With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Who Works the Hardest Around here?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.&nbsp; With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wordy Nerdy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-26T10:33:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.activegarage.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/Hard-Work-Ant.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/\",\"name\":\"Who Works the Hardest Around here?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-01-26T10:33:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-01-26T10:33:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90\"},\"description\":\"\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.&nbsp; With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Who Works the Hardest Around here?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/\",\"name\":\"Wordy Nerdy\",\"description\":\"Musings on faith, motherhood and thriving in our multi-cultural modern world\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90\",\"name\":\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kathy Tuan-MacLean\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/author\/ktuanmaclean\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Who Works the Hardest Around here?","description":"\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.&nbsp; With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Who Works the Hardest Around here?","og_description":"\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.&nbsp; With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/","og_site_name":"Wordy Nerdy","article_published_time":"2012-01-26T10:33:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.activegarage.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/Hard-Work-Ant.jpg"}],"author":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/","name":"Who Works the Hardest Around here?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-01-26T10:33:00+00:00","dateModified":"2012-01-26T10:33:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90"},"description":"\u201cOh RIGHT,\u201d said a kid when asked to finish cleaning up the kitchen.&nbsp; With a scorn only raging adolescent hormones can generate, \u201cWhy does the","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/2012\/01\/who-works-the-hardest-around-here\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Who Works the Hardest Around here?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/","name":"Wordy Nerdy","description":"Musings on faith, motherhood and thriving in our multi-cultural modern world","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/6c6dda68d7ed6c26af1b35b058709a90","name":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/298d6554af3ccf7dc0d5c597a5c183d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kathy Tuan-MacLean"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/author\/ktuanmaclean\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1263"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wordynerdy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}