{"id":1785,"date":"2013-03-17T23:45:26","date_gmt":"2013-03-18T05:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/?p=1785"},"modified":"2013-03-17T23:45:26","modified_gmt":"2013-03-18T05:45:26","slug":"looking-at-the-s-word","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/2013\/03\/looking-at-the-s-word\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking at the “S” word"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

As many of you know I am recently divorced. I must admit the journey has been a walk, step by step, breath by breath through lots of shame.\u00a0 It seems in culture that desires so much from our ourselves, that we seem to get lost in the experience itself. Letting us be defined by it. As a man, I have felt criticized by feeling my feelings,\u00a0 be called weak, not macho enough, never living up to someone else\u2019s dreams for me,\u00a0 not making enough, bullied, threatened, pick on, called \u201cgirl\u201d, had a family member buy my daughter a pink cheer leading dress for her birthday and then suggesting I could wear it too because I was a stay at home Dad,\u00a0 and now the divorce. So with this in mind, I entered my heart, and was still.\u00a0 I have had the opportunity to meet some wonderful people, including women.\u00a0 A woman friend of mine, suggested that I was scared to love, and that got me to this place of honesty. The best place I can go too for honesty is within, and this came forward, \u201cShame\u201d.\u00a0 The heart opened, as though it had been waiting for all these years to be released.<\/p>\n

The \u201cS\u201d word \u201cSHAME\u201d.\u00a0 I love inward work, because when you are ready to get to the heart of the matter, the door is opened.\u00a0 So here I am with an endless list, so what do they all have in common, \u201cless than\u201d.\u00a0 I have been equating my life to my experience.\u00a0 Caring about what others will say, and frankly that is ridiculous.\u00a0\u00a0 But it is here, and because it is here and I have acknowledged it, now I can take responsibility for it. In taking responsibility I am able to respond.\u00a0 Which is true responsibility, the ability to respond within, and with love that this came forward, this blessing.\u00a0 My response was to take this shame to the \u201cinner Wisdom\u201d and ask for guidance.\u00a0\u00a0 When I did I saw a bird released from its cage, a white dove.\u00a0 So many years of burden, finally breaking down, falling apart. As Love recognizes love.<\/p>\n

Finally releasing and continuing to practice in loving awareness\u2026.to be continued\u2026.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As many of you know I am recently divorced. I must admit the journey has been a walk, step by step, breath by breath through lots of shame.\u00a0 It seems in culture that desires so much from our ourselves, that we seem to get lost in the experience itself. Letting us be defined by it. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1107,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1236,163,932,1235,1025],"class_list":["post-1785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-s-word","tag-david-matthew-brown","tag-naked-mystic","tag-shame","tag-wrestling-with-myself"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1107"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1785"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/wrestlingwithyourself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}