Posted by Frank <\/span><\/p>\n Chalk it up to the subject matter of the posts, which are as different as night is from day. The subject of Blaise\u2019s<\/span> letter being <\/p><\/span>death<\/span><\/span><\/span>. And more specifically death from the Catholic perspective. Admittedly, it is a delicate subject and one for which none of us have all the answers. We are blessed though in that our little community offered up differing perspectives of the mystery of our lives and our eventual deaths.\n <\/span><\/span><\/span> Reader, and guest poster<\/a>, EPG<\/span> writes:<\/p>\n I admit I have my doubts about \u201cthe decree of providence\u201d argument, at least to the extent that it applies to the particular circumstances of every death, in time, place and manner. For example, here in Florida, we recently had a notorious case in which a young girl was abducted from her home, raped, and then buried alive by a sexual predator who lived near her. It\u2019s hard to see \u201cthe decree of providence\u201d in that. <\/span><\/p>\n Perhaps it is better to think that God holds the handlebars of the universe lightly, and that, in creating a universe which included the possibility of free will, he allowed for all sorts of disasters, including room for individuals to commit evil, which may have consequences for those who happen to be near them.<\/span><\/p>\n (But then, theodicy<\/span> (<\/span>editor: <\/span>the attempt to justify the behavior of God)is a thorny problem, and I don\u2019t expect any of us to resolve that.) <\/span><\/p>\n Perhaps a better response is simply to acknowledge, at least in the case of premature death, that there is no answer except the cross and the empty tomb. Christians have the ability to say at least, \u201cLook, we don\u2019t understand the mystery of suffering and death, but we know that God shared in it on the Cross, and that the empty tomb tells us that death, however painful, does not have the last word.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n An anonymous reader gave us this news to contend with:<\/p>\n Hi, I love your columns and want to know what you would say to a mother whose 4 month old died of SIDS. She does not like to hear \u201cGod is in charge. He knew what he was doing when he took your son, or God needed another angel in heaven, or be glad because he has reached his goal with no sin on his soul\u2026these are only driving her away from God.<\/span><\/p>\n Whereupon several of you responded in, what I hope, are helpful ways to this tragic, personal, and very particular circumstance. Jan from the blog Runs with Angels<\/a> offered up these words of advice:<\/p>\n To anon \u2013 there is nothing you can say to someone who loses a child, especially unexpectedly. The only effective thing I\u2019ve found is to <\/span>listen<\/i> very carefully to what the grieving say and take your cues from that. Always be ready to listen and gently guide through each episode, if you will. The only thing you can truly say is \u201cI\u2019m so very sorry.\u201d Even if that is all you say, over and over, that is really all there is.<\/span><\/p>\n And an Anonymous reader offered this:<\/p>\n I understand your pain on losing a baby. If you look at the archives for this blog for Dec 16th<\/span>, you\u2019ll find a reference to the Youtube<\/span> clip for \u201c99 baloons<\/span>\u201d in the comments. Very Inspirational! (even 24 years later) for me. I lost a baby at two days of age \u2013 and I realize that losing a child at 4 months is a whole other experience. And I know this because my sister lost a nineteen year old! Please accept my prayers as you fold this tragedy into the tapestry of your life.<\/span><\/p>\n