sewed a description of the event<\/a> into his coat so that he could wear it close to his heart. . . . He abandoned mathematics, and physics, swore off high living, dropped his old friends, sold all his possessions, and a short while later took up residence in the monastery at Port-Royal in Paris.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nI think I read that in 1998\/1999 and thought to myself, \u201cWeird.\u201d<\/p>\n
Keep in mind that somewhere in here is my conversion story. I am a Catholic today and an alumnus of the class of 2008 (which includes Webster Bull; Tony Blair, former PM of Her Majesty\u2019s Government; and thousands of others). My wife is a cradle Catholic, and I was married in the Church (thankfully, as that was one less hurdle to jump in RCIA). But in 1998\/99, I was a wash-out.<\/p>\n
I had tried to convert before in 1990 at a parish near our first apartment, soon after my wife and I got married. I threw in the towel because the director of the program was clueless, ignorant of scripture, couldn\u2019t explain why these extra books were in the Bible, etc., etc. Besides, I was going to college and this was messing with my grades! I got a nice Catholic Bible and a crucifix, as a keepsake, but I figured I was \u201cone and done\u201d on RCIA.<\/p>\n
I attended Mass faithfully with my wife and promised that if we had children I would raise them Catholic. This was important to my sweetie, and I was a \u201cbig picture\u201d Christian in an ecumenical sense before I even knew what that meant. Our three children were born and duly baptized in the Church, and I threw myself on the mercy of Catholic coworkers and later Marine Corps comrades to be godfathers of my children. But me become Catholic? Not gonna happen!<\/p>\n
So here I am in 2006 with Pascal\u2019s Pensees<\/em> and the seeds of an idea forming in my head. This is the stuff he wrote after he bailed out of \u201cthe world.\u201d Hey\u2026I\u2019ll read this guy\u2019s stuff and use what I find to prove to my wife that the Catholic faith is, if not fatally flawed, then misguided! Then we can look around my hometown for the Protestant church we feel comfortable at and get on with our lives. (Blaise is laughing himself silly as I write this.)<\/p>\nSo I pick up the volume and note that it is 444 pages and I think, \u201cThis guy was serious about whatever he was writing here. Pretty lengthy book for someone who left the Show.\u201d I read the intro and it says he was born on June 19, 1623, in Clermont in Auvergne\u2014blah, blah, blah\u2014and then \u201can accident had brought the Pascal family into contact with Jansenist doctrine and Blaise became an ardent convert. Jansenism, which took its name from Jansenis, the bishop of Ypres (note to self: World War I battlefield) had its headquarters in the Cistercian (never heard of \u2019em) Abbey of Port-Royal, and was one of the most rigorous and lofty developments of post-Reformation Catholicism. Its doctrine somewhat resembled Calvinism in its insistence on Grace and Predestination at the expense of freedom of will.\u201d Ah-ha, Blaise! Gotcha!<\/p>\n
It went on to explain that Pascal backed the Jansenists in attacking the Jesuits, who attacked Jansenist doctrine as heretical and the Church ruled that the Jansenists ideas were heterodox. That\u2019s a big ole<\/em> word I learned in college; it means \u201cbaloney\u201d. Silly Catholics\u2026 can\u2019t they just get along? Blaise then turned his talents to writing an \u201cApology for the Christian Religion,\u201d and I thought to myself, \u201cThis is gonna be good.\u201d<\/p>\nThis book Pens\u00e9es <\/em>(Thoughts) was published after his death (gulp! he died at age forty) and is made up of the notes for the book he was never able to complete because of his untimely death. I made it to page 21 before I couldn\u2019t stop myself from breaking out the highlighter pen.<\/p>\nThese thoughts of his were right on the mark, and I couldn\u2019t have agreed with them more! Like this:<\/p>\n
Scaramouch, who only thinks of one thing. The doctor, who speaks for a quarter of an hour after he has said everything, so full is he of the desire of talking.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Sounds like some of my professors, and other bores I\u2019ve come across.<\/p>\n
When a natural discourse paints a passion or an effect, one feels within oneself the truth of what one reads, which was there before, although one did not know it. Hence one is inclined to love him who makes us feel it, for he has not shown us his own riches, but ours. And thus this benefit renders him pleasing to us, besides that such community of intellect as we have with him necessarily inclines the heart to love.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/em>This guy is on to something. . . . I wonder what kind of beer he likes and who his favorite baseball team is?<\/p>\nLet no one say that I have said nothing new; the arrangement of the subject is new. When we play tennis, we both play with the same ball, but one of us places it better. I had as soon it said that I used words employed before. And in the same way if the same thoughts in a different arrangement do not form a different discourse, no more do the same words in their different arrangement form different thoughts!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
You mean like me trying to go one-on-one with Kobe Bryant in a game of basketball? Yeah Kobe could \u201cplace the ball better\u201d! I can definitely see this.<\/p>\n
Epigrams of Martial. \u2014 Man loves malice, but not against one-eyed men nor the unfortunate, but against the fortunate and proud. People are mistaken in thinking otherwise. For lust is the source of all our actions, and humanity, etc. We must please those who have humane and tender feelings. That epigram about two one-eyed people is worthless, for it does not console them and only gives a point to the author\u2019s glory. All that is only for the sake of the author is worthless. Ambitiosa recident ornamenta. [Horace, Epistle to the pious, 447. \u201cThey curtailed pretentious ornaments.\u201d]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Now he is getting into where I live! This is Don Henley\u2019s tune \u201cDirty Laundry.\u201d I love that song!<\/p>\n
Do you wish people to believe good of you? Don\u2019t speak well of yourself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
And so it goes for 317 pages. How can I not love this man and his ideas? This is the Catholic, who had his earlier support for the Jansenists defeated as heretical by the Jesuits and he still comes back all in love with this Catholic church, full of knowledge and kindness for Her, and it all makes sense to me! He is not feeding me ammunition; he is taking it away!<\/p>\n
In the section entitled \u201cThe Misery of Man without God\u201d my first highlighted entry is<\/p>\n
Self-love. \u2014 The nature of self-love and of this human Ego is to love self only and consider self only. But what will man do? He cannot prevent this object that he loves from being full of faults and wants. He wants to be great, and he sees himself small. He wants to be happy, and he sees himself miserable. He wants to be perfect, and he sees himself full of imperfections. He wants to be the object of love and esteem among men, and he sees that his faults merit only their hatred and contempt. This embarrassment in which he finds himself produces in him the most unrighteous and criminal passion that can be imagined; for he conceives a mortal enmity against that truth which reproves him and which convinces him of his faults. He would annihilate it, but, unable to destroy it in its essence, he destroys it as far as possible in his own knowledge and in that of others; that is to say, he devotes all his attention to hiding his faults both from others and from himself, and he cannot endure either that others should point them out to him, or that they should see them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Blaise, how did you know how I really am? Sheesh\u2026We must be drinking buddies! Then Monsieur Pascal begins talking religion, like so:<\/p>\n
How I hate these follies of not believing in the Eucharist, etc.! If the Gospel be true, if Jesus Christ be God, what difficulty is there?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Whoa. Note to self: must look up definition of Eucharist(I was that ignorant!).<\/p>\n
According to the doctrine of chance, you ought to put yourself to the trouble of searching for the truth; for if you die without worshipping the True Cause, you are lost. \u201cBut,\u201d say you, \u201cif He had wished me to worship Him, He would have left me signs of His will.\u201d He has done so; but you neglect them. Seek them, therefore; it is well worth it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I had been injured severely in an accident, which took the lives of two of my brother Marines, and almost me. Would I have been O.K. if I hadn\u2019t survived?<\/p>\n
Psshaw. Nah, I was fine. Come on man, get a grip on yourself! Don\u2019t be too hasty to buy into Pascal\u2019s silliness. Let\u2019s take a look at those Letters and Minor Works. Don\u2019t panic. Keep digging!<\/p>\n
Next time: More about my buddy Blaise Pascal and his prowess as a \u201ccloser\u201d.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_dmDaLWNETzg\/SxZvty9g4BI\/AAAAAAAAAmA\/D3wXrSIzNAY\/s200\/Pascal\")
<\/a>I looked over the choices by scanning the titles embossed in gold lettering on the spines of the volumes. I wasn\u2019t in the mood for poetry so Volume 4, Complete Poems in English, Milton, was out. So was Volume 6, Poems and Songs, Burns (but I would be back for that one). The Aeneid<\/em>? I had read that already when I was a young warrior. Ditto for Emerson. I was all about Self-Reliance anyway\u2014yawn. Two Years Before the Mast?<\/em> Sorry\u2014I\u2019ve been at sea for a year with the Royal Navy, fella, via Patrick O\u2019Brian\u2019s Aubrey-Maturin series, and it\u2019s time to hit port!<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/6738513599344023043-5382956390722733545?l=yimcatholic.blogspot.com\")
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