Love Does Not Equal Respect<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""You can respect someone's opinion while still disagreeing with them." When's the last time you heard that statement? Probably just the other day, right?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/youngfogey\/2013\/05\/love-does-not-equal-respect\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love Does Not Equal Respect\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\""You can respect someone's opinion while still disagreeing with them." When's the last time you heard that statement? 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{"id":12794,"date":"2013-05-03T06:00:01","date_gmt":"2013-05-03T10:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/southerngospelyankee.wordpress.com\/?p=12794"},"modified":"2013-05-03T06:00:01","modified_gmt":"2013-05-03T10:00:01","slug":"love-does-not-equal-respect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/youngfogey\/2013\/05\/love-does-not-equal-respect\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Does Not Equal Respect"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u201cYou can respect someone\u2019s opinion while still disagreeing with them.\u201d
\nWhen\u2019s the last time you heard that statement? Probably just the other day, right? I know, it\u2019s contagious, like all shallow memes. Well, time to put this one in its place.
\nFirst of all, what does \u201crespect\u201d mean? Let\u2019s get out a dictionary: \u201cA feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem.\u201d Or, \u201cWillingness to show consideration or appreciation.\u201d Does that seem fair? Yes?
\nGood. Now that we\u2019ve established what respect means, let\u2019s discuss the implications of this meme. Let\u2019s also consider the contexts where we often see it used, because let\u2019s face it, you\u2019re probably not going to encounter it in a discussion about what people\u2019s favorite color is, or whether you prefer dogs to cats. This is a meme created pretty much solely for the context of political debates. And sometimes, moral political debates. Sometimes, especially moral political debates.
\nAnd that\u2019s where things go south. At warp speed.
\nThis is a favorite meme of the \u201cpox on both your houses crowd.\u201d You know who I\u2019m talking about\u2014these are pastors, writers, bloggers, opinion-makers who like to stand on the sidelines of the public square, shaking their heads and clucking at the \u201cnastiness\u201d of the debate over [insert hot-button issue here]. \u201cBoth sides are just getting this wrong,\u201d they cluck sadly. \u201cOh, the vitriol! Oh, the insensitivity! Oh dear, d-dearie dear! I\u2019m sure if we could all just learn to be nice to each other, we wouldn\u2019t have these nasty debates and everyone could live in peace and harmony.\u201d Ah yes, peace and harmony\u2026 that dweam wiffin a dweam<\/a>.
\nThere\u2019s a boatload of memes these opinion-makers like to use. I would be bored to tears if I tried to dig through them ALL and explain why they\u2019re so shallow before throwing them back in the dustbin where they belong. But I felt like doing this one today. So, in a nutshell, here\u2019s the problem: The problem is that these people seem to think love is equivalent to respect. They reason, \u201cWell, we\u2019re supposed to have compassion for all people and hope they would come to know Jesus. Therefore, we need to listen and have respect for their opinions, even if we disagree.\u201d
\nUnfortunately, this does not follow. Let me make a quick analogy: You who have children\u2014do you love your children? I should hope you\u2019re crazy about them. Good, now\u2014when your children attempt to do stupid, irrational things, or attempt to harm themselves in some way, or ask you permission for something you must, as a responsible parent, flatly deny\u2026 do you respect<\/em> your children in that moment? I should hope not. If you felt a need to respect every idea your toddler had, how well would that work out for him? If you felt a need to respect every idea your rebellious teenager had, how well would that work out for him? Hint: not well.
\nThis is my point: Some truths are very simple. Some paths plainly lead to destruction. Some ideas are plainly morally monstrous, irrational, or both, and as such do not deserve a place at the table of respectable conversation. But those who have drunk the wrong kind of kool-aid have been somewhat anesthetized to the danger in rhetoric used by the opposing side on certain issues. If you\u2019re surrounded by people mouthing the \u201cI think Democrats have the best ideas for actually preventing abortions\u201d line long enough, you start to wonder if there\u2019s something respectable about voting Democrat. If you\u2019re surrounded by people mouthing the \u201cGay marriage is a complex issue\u201d line long enough, you start to nod in agreement with them. If you\u2019re surrounded by people intoning importantly that Saving the Planet is just as big a priority as anything else, if not more so, you start to furrow your own brow in worry over Saving the Planet. You don\u2019t want to hurt people\u2019s feelings, and you want to believe that the people you like must really have done their homework to reach the opinions they have. So you start to soften your own position to allow for \u201crespect\u201d of these positions even if a part of you still resists complete agreement.
\nTrouble is, when you have a position so convoluted that a person who holds it can vote for Obama and walk out convinced that he\u2019s voted pro-life from womb to grave\u2026 there\u2019s no longer any room for respecting that person as a rational thinker or a voter. (To give just one example. I could give other examples that don\u2019t have anything to do with politics. For example, I could give examples of faux \u201cscholarship\u201d that I have nothing but contempt for as scholarship on academic grounds, even apart from their immorality.)
\nNow, here\u2019s the thing: Perhaps one could<\/em> respect such a person in some other area. I could name friends of mine whom I respect very much in areas like teaching, academic integrity, sportsmanship, even personal integrity. But there are other areas in which I absolutely don\u2019t respect their opinions. For example, I could respect a professor as a brilliant mathematical mind but quietly note that that same professor holds utterly insane political views. Yet here\u2019s the rub: This meme leaves no room for compartmentalizing our respect in that way. It insists that one must respect the person on those very issues where he\u2019s displaying profound evil, ignorance or foolishness in his choices<\/em>.
\nThat\u2019s stifling, foolish, and dangerous. It encourages constant timidity and second-guessing about even those things which should be absolutely crystal clear. Let\u2019s face it, Christians wouldn\u2019t say we need to \u201crespect\u201d someone as a moral thinker who thinks Hitler maybe had a point and the Jews really are trying to take over the world, so we should kill them. Neither should we \u201crespect\u201d as a moral thinker someone who supports other moral monstrosities\/obscenities. Neither should we respect someone in that way who justifies supporting candidates in favor of said monstrosities\/obscenities (like abortion, as just one example). That may be a hard pill to swallow when you\u2019re close to someone who\u2019s so badly informed, so shallow, and\/or so misguided that he does exactly that. But it\u2019s a hard pill of truth.
\nCan you still love them? Absolutely you can. But can you respect them? That is a separate question entirely. Just remember: Love does not equal respect.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"