{"id":11503,"date":"2014-02-04T12:56:25","date_gmt":"2014-02-04T18:56:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theamericanjesus.net\/?p=11503"},"modified":"2014-02-04T12:56:25","modified_gmt":"2014-02-04T18:56:25","slug":"awesome-jesus-stuff-you-need-to-own","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2014\/02\/awesome-jesus-stuff-you-need-to-own\/","title":{"rendered":"Awesome Jesus Stuff You Need To Own"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

My cousin stumbled across a couple of these things the other day and sent me pictures.<\/p>\n

Naturally, I immediately went in search of where I could buy them online.<\/p>\n

Well, that let to even more wonderful discoveries I felt compelled to share.<\/p>\n

So, in no particular order, here\u2019s some awesome (mostly) Jesus stuff you need to own.<\/p>\n[You can click on any of the links below or images themselves to buy the awesomeness you see]\n

First up, Jesus Band-Aids.<\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Just took a chunk out of my finger the other day. Really wish I had had these handy as I assume they would have miraculously healed my cut immediately.<\/p>\n

Even if they didn\u2019t miraculously heal my finger, I want the free toy inside!!<\/p>\n

You can buy these holy Band-Aids here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Sticking with the sticky Jesus theme, make sure you pick up some of these bad boys<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Or if you prefer, and I do \u2019cause they\u2019re too awesome for words, you can go all Charlton Heston with your sticky notes and turn them into divine commandments<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Going back to Jesus, if you\u2019ve ever felt scorned that you weren\u2019t allowed to choose the costumes for your church\u2019s annual Easter pageant, here\u2019s your chance at redemption.<\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

You can pick up your magnetic mix n\u2019 match Jesus here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Speaking of your chance at redemption.<\/p>\n

If you suffer from halitosis or just had a touch too much garlic at lunch, then save your breath with a case or two of Messiah Mints<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Or if your sin is greater than garlic and you find your soul in need of atonement, don\u2019t worry.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve got mints for that too<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Hope you enjoyed these wonderful little items.<\/p>\n

At the very least, I hope you\u2019ve found a gift for the next pastor appreciation day at your church.<\/p>\n

Trust me, your pastor will love anything from this list.<\/p>\n

And if your pastor doesn\u2019t, then you probably need to find a new pastor\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026with a sense of humor.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My cousin stumbled across a couple of these things the other day and sent me pictures. Naturally, I immediately went in search of where I could buy them online. Well, that let to even more wonderful discoveries I felt compelled to share. So, in no particular order, here\u2019s some awesome (mostly) Jesus stuff you need […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3437,"featured_media":11504,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nAwesome Jesus Stuff You Need To Own<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My cousin stumbled across a couple of these things the other day and sent me pictures. 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