{"id":13604,"date":"2015-01-29T11:35:34","date_gmt":"2015-01-29T16:35:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zackhunt.net\/?p=13604"},"modified":"2015-01-29T11:35:34","modified_gmt":"2015-01-29T16:35:34","slug":"5-bizarre-jesus-themed-products-shouldnt-exist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2015\/01\/5-bizarre-jesus-themed-products-shouldnt-exist\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Bizarre Jesus Themed Products That Shouldn’t Exist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

From time to time, I stumble upon a kitschy Jesus themed product that\u2019s intentionally tongue-in-cheek that I personally find amusing.<\/p>\n

Like Jesus soap<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Or the Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater<\/a>\"\".<\/p>\n

But along with the intentionally funny Jesus stuff, there\u2019s a whole host of Jesus related stuff out there that ranges from the unintentionally hilarious to the bizarrely awful.<\/p>\n

Here are just 5 such weird Jesus products that shouldn\u2019t exist.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

5. \u201cYou Need Jesus\u201d T-shirt<\/h4>\n

\"Screen(Credit: Redbubble<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Jesus themed t-shirts are nothing new and usually nothing to write home about. But this one is just beyond creepy. However,\u00a0if that\u2019s your thing and you\u2019ve got $22.40 to spend, you can pick one up today<\/a>\u00a0and make everyone you meet feel really uncomfortable.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

4. Cross Pops<\/h4>\n

\"crosspops\"(Credit: Listverse<\/a>)<\/p>\n

The cross began its life(?) as a device intended to torture and execute its victims. When Jesus was crucified on one, the cross became a holy symbol of reverence and remembrance. I guess a candy dispenser was the logical next step in the evolution of the cross? Though other types of cross themed candy are still available for purchase<\/a>, this one appears to be off the market.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

3. Jesus Is My Coach Figurine<\/h4>\n

\"coachjesus2\"(Credit: Catholic Supply<\/a>)<\/p>\n

There\u2019s actually an entire line<\/a> of \u201cJesus Is My Coach\u201d figurines. Thankfully, most of them are just your typical cheesy Jesus kitsch. But clearly the artist who designed this particular figure hadn\u2019t been through Safe Sanctuary<\/a> training at his church. Seriously, this thing makes me wince every time I look at it. Unfortunately, it\u2019s still for sale<\/a>.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

2. The God-Jesus Robot<\/h4>\n

\"god-jesus-toy-robot\"(Credit: Neatorama<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Ok, I have to confess that this one actually kinda cracks me up. Essentially, it\u2019s a Magic 8 Ball that\u2019s been dressed up to look like what its creator apparently thought Jesus would look like if he was a robot. Seriously. If you notice the picture on the box on the left, that kid is asking a question and robot Jesus is, um, declining to answer his prayer? Although the God-Jesus Robot is no longer on sale, for $22 you can pick yourself up a nifty God-Jesus Robot t-shirt<\/a>.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

1. Jesus Body Pills<\/h4>\n

\"jesusbody2\"<\/a>(Credit: Quirky Japan Blog<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Where to begin? Honestly, I don\u2019t even know what to do with this one. I think<\/em> it\u2019s some sort of tragically named herbal supplement. I guess it\u2019s supposed to give you a body like Jesus? Although, the model in the display is certainly a non-traditional take on what Jesus may have looked like. But, like I said, that\u2019s just a guess. I would love to tell you more about Jesus Body pills, but as the creepy and confusing description on the box explains, the true purpose of these pills is a secret.<\/p>\n

\"jesusbody1\"(Credit: TeamJimmyJoe<\/a>)<\/p>\n

I have no idea if these pills are still available to purchase, but I\u2019m gonna go out on a limb and guess they won\u2019t be on sale in the States anytime soon.
\n\u00a0
\nWell, those are my top bizarre 5 Jesus themed products that shouldn\u2019t exist. What would you add to the list? Let me know in the comments below.<\/em>
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From time to time, I stumble upon a kitschy Jesus themed product that\u2019s intentionally tongue-in-cheek that I personally find amusing. Like Jesus soap. Or the Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater. But along with the intentionally funny Jesus stuff, there\u2019s a whole host of Jesus related stuff out there that ranges from the unintentionally hilarious to the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3437,"featured_media":13610,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n5 Bizarre Jesus Themed Products That Shouldn't Exist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"From time to time, I stumble upon a kitschy Jesus themed product that's intentionally tongue-in-cheek that I personally find amusing. Like Jesus soap. 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