{"id":14826,"date":"2016-01-01T15:37:41","date_gmt":"2016-01-01T21:37:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zackhunt.net\/?p=14826"},"modified":"2016-01-01T15:37:41","modified_gmt":"2016-01-01T21:37:41","slug":"10-new-years-resolutions-im-pretty-sure-i-can-actually-keep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2016\/01\/10-new-years-resolutions-im-pretty-sure-i-can-actually-keep\/","title":{"rendered":"10 New Year’s Resolutions I’m Pretty Sure I Can Actually Keep"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"new(Credit: Wikipedia Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Everybody has their list of New Year\u2019s resolutions meant to inspire you to do great things in the days to come.\u00a0Most of them are pretty much the same: lose weight, get a better job, become a better person, blah blah blah.<\/p>\n

You know the drill.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s be honest. You\u2019re not gonna keep any of those resolutions. Sure, you\u2019ll start them and give them the old college try\u2026until sometime in February when you remember why you weren\u2019t doing those things in the first place: because you don\u2019t have the time, because they\u2019re too hard, or because they\u2019re just boring.<\/p>\n

At least that\u2019s the case for me.<\/p>\n

So, this year I\u2019ve come up with a list of New Year\u2019s resolutions I think I can actually keep. I admit they probably won\u2019t inspire me\u00a0to do great things in the coming months, but you know what they will give me?<\/p>\n

Attainable goals.<\/p>\n

And that counts for something, right? Maybe? Please say yes\u2026<\/p>\n

Anyway, here\u2019s my list of 10 New Year\u2019s Resolutions I\u2019m pretty sure I can keep. If you\u2019ve got any of your own that you would add to list, share them in the comments.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"calendar\"(Credit: Dafne Cholet, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

1. Wait until after the new year starts to come up with a list of resolutions<\/h4>\n

Check and mate.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"scale\"(Credit: Benson Kua, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

2. Decide to lose weight\u2026but never actually follow through on that<\/h4>\n

I feel pretty confident in my ability to keep this resolution. I mean, I can\u2019t even begin to count how many times I thought \u201cI need to lose weight\u201d last year and never did anything about it. This one should be a cinch.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"moving(Credit: Phil! Gold, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

3. Move to a completely different part of the country<\/h4>\n

Ok, here\u2019s one that sounds totally legitimate and exciting, right? Well, it is, but technically it\u2019s also kinda sorta cheating since my wife already has a job lined up in Nashville starting in August. But hey, that\u2019s another resolution I already know I\u2019m definitely going to keep! I\u2019m so awesome at this.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"tv\"(Credit: Anders Adermark, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

4. Watch more TV<\/h4>\n

This one is going to take some work. I\u00a0already watch a fair amount of television. Some might even call it an \u201cunhealthy\u201d amount of TV. I certainly would not. I mean there are sooo many shows and movies out there I haven\u2019t even seen yet. And if I don\u2019t watch them, who will?? I mean I can\u2019t just leave them stranded and alone out there, unwatched on Netflix. That\u2019s cruel and unusual punishment and that\u2019s illegal in the country because the Constitution!! So, I must<\/em> watch more TV this year. It\u2019s my patriotic duty.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"facebook\"(Credit: SimonQ, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

5. Check Facebook at least 20 times a day<\/h4>\n

According to one study<\/a>, the average person checks Facebook 14 times a day on their smartphone. But I don\u2019t want to settle for just average. I want to be better than that! So, I\u2019m going to aim higher. 20 times a day seems totally attainable, right? I\u2019ve just got to remind myself that as unrealistic and ridiculous as it is to think something life changing has happened on Facebook since I last checked it 5 minutes ago, you never know. Speaking of which, I better go check Facebook\u2026.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"bacon\"(Credit: cookbookman17, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

6. Eat more bacon<\/h4>\n

Would you believe there were entire weeks last year that went by without me eating a single piece of bacon? I know, me neither. It\u2019s embarrassing and I\u2019m ashamed. I can do better this year. I must do better.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"running\"(Credit: Peter Mooney, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

7. Never start running<\/h4>\n

Lots of people I know either already run regularly or make it their New Year\u2019s resolution to start running. Which is weird, because I\u2019m pretty sure they all own cars. And why would you run somewhere when you could get there waayyy<\/em> faster by driving? So, in honor of common sense, I promise to never start running this year\u2026unless I\u2019m being chased by bears.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"iphone\"(Credit: download.net.pl \u2013 mobile, Flickr Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

8. Stress out about the new iPhone<\/h4>\n

Yeah, I know. Apple just hasn\u2019t even announced a new iPhone and probably won\u2019t for several months, but we all know it\u2019s coming and there\u2019s no time like the present to start stressing about it. What features it will have? Will I\u00a0be eligible for an upgrade when it\u2019s released?? \u00a0And most importantly, will I have enough money to buy it the second it comes out???<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"bald\"(Credit: kaicho20, Pixabay<\/a>)<\/p>\n

9. Lose more hair<\/h4>\n

Technically this is a resolution I\u2019ve been keeping since college whether I wanted to or not. But I feel like this year might be the year I go full Bruce Willis. Yippie ki yay mother\u2026well, you know the rest.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"flag\"(Credit: Bill Dickinson, Flick Creative Commons<\/a>)<\/p>\n

10. Ensure the future of freedom, democracy, and human decency in the United States<\/h4>\n

\u201cWhoa whoa whoa\u201d, you\u2019re saying. \u201cEating more bacon is going to be hard enough. How could you possible keep this resolution?!\u201d Simple, my friend. By voting for anyone other than Donald Trump in November.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Credit: Wikipedia Commons) Everybody has their list of New Year\u2019s resolutions meant to inspire you to do great things in the days to come.\u00a0Most of them are pretty much the same: lose weight, get a better job, become a better person, blah blah blah. You know the drill. But let\u2019s be honest. 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