{"id":3192,"date":"2011-05-23T08:00:56","date_gmt":"2011-05-23T13:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theamericanjesus.net\/?p=3192"},"modified":"2011-05-23T08:00:56","modified_gmt":"2011-05-23T13:00:56","slug":"harold-campings-top-10-excuses-for-may-21st","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2011\/05\/harold-campings-top-10-excuses-for-may-21st\/","title":{"rendered":"Harold Camping’s Top 10 Excuses for May 21st"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I for one am shocked that a retired engineer with no theological training turned out to be a bad theologian. What are you going to tell me next? That pastors shouldn\u2019t try to build rocket ships??<\/p>\n

Since we haven\u2019t heard from Mr. Camping yet, and probably won\u2019t be satisfied with what he says anyway, we\u2019ve taken the\u00a0initiative\u00a0to put together a list of excuses for him.<\/p>\n

Presenting\u2026.<\/p>\n

Harold Camping\u2019s Top 10 Excuses for May 21st<\/h2>\n

<\/a><\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

10. \u00a0As I was reviewing my apocalyptic calculation I realized that I forgot to carry a 1. That\u2019s gonna be my bad.<\/p>\n

9. \u00a0Jesus was going to come on Saturday, but he got sick. Apparently, he came down with a pretty bad case of Bieber Fever.<\/p>\n

8. \u00a0May 21st? Who said Jesus was coming back on May 21st? I<\/em> didn\u2019t say anything about May 21st.<\/p>\n

7. \u00a0Unfortunately Jesus got held up\u2026..literally. He and the Macho Man Randy Savage are currently locked up in a cage match for Heavenmania XIV<\/em>. My money is on Jesus, but he\u2019s no the only one who can fly\u00a0off the top ropes. Snap into a Slim Jim!<\/p>\n

6. \u00a0Armageddon was set to ensue with Donald Trump\u2019s bid for the presidency. However, since The Donald spared the United States that apocalypse, Jesus decided he would do the same for the rest of the world.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0Ohhh<\/em>\u2026\u2026you thought I was serious about that whole end of the world thing?! Really?? I thought a cranky 90 year old man ranting on the radio about the end of the world was obviously a joke.<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0Well, once Rob Bell published Love Wins<\/em> Jesus realized he didn\u2019t have anywhere to send the heathens anyway, so he decided to call the whole thing off.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0Look, I talked to Jesus and he said he can\u2019t do the whole end of the world thing until the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are available. So, once Seal Team Six has a few days off the apocalypse will be back on. I promise.<\/p>\n

2. \u00a0Curse that Benjamin Franklin and his daylight savings time! I completely forgot about that one. Let me redo my math and I guarantee I\u2019ll get it right this time. Third time\u2019s the charm!<\/p>\n

1. \u00a0Hey, look! What\u2019s that over there??<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Do you have some more excuses for Mr. Camping to use? Share them in the comments! Trust us, he\u2019s going to need all the help he can get.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 I for one am shocked that a retired engineer with no theological training turned out to be a bad theologian. What are you going to tell me next? That pastors shouldn\u2019t try to build rocket ships?? Since we haven\u2019t heard from Mr. Camping yet, and probably won\u2019t be satisfied with what he says […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHarold Camping's Top 10 Excuses for May 21st<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"    I for one am shocked that a retired engineer with no theological training turned out to be a bad theologian. 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