you can make help turn this film into a reality<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
As a young Christian I was taught to preserve my virginity, avoid masturbation, and flee lust at all costs\u2014for me, sexual purity equaled salvation; yet, I couldn\u2019t bear the idea of going through life devoid of the experience of sexual pleasure.<\/p>\n
Like most teenagers, adulthood (and marriage) seemed like an eternity away. It felt so distant that my evangelical soul was certain our Lord and Savior would whisk me away to heaven before I was able to even begin courting a female. And so, with burning tension, my 13 year-old self sat down on the brick flowerbed in front of his house, turned his eyes to heaven and earnestly prayed, \u201cJesus, don\u2019t let me die before I\u2019ve had sex!\u201d<\/p>\n
As the days and weeks progressed towards the inevitable end of my sexless life, purity before marriage was constantly reinforced: I was warned of the slippery slope of \u201cmake out\u201d sessions, I sat through testimonies of women who had allowed themselves to get pregnant before marriage and I read books highlighting the threat that premarital fornication posed to my immortal soul. At the same time, sex was being elevated higher and higher on my pantheon of human experiences\u2014reinforced by the culture, my friends and even my church. I recall one sermon where my pastor pulled an article from a newspaper and read the headline, \u201cStudies show married couples tend to have better sex,\u201d or something to that effect. The narrative being constructed was sex is dirty before marriage\u2014however, after you say \u201cI do\u201d it\u2019s an amazing, transformative experience. The flood gates open, sparks fly and the burning in your soul is quenched. That is what I believed.<\/p>\n
I escaped singlehood relatively unscathed having only stumbled my way to second base (I fled any opportunity to go further.) Right before my 22ND<\/sup> birthday, when I thought my life as a celibate monk was surely sealed, I met a beautiful woman that rocked me to my core; I had met my soulmate. We dated for about 6 months, at which point I brought up marriage. She was hesitant to rush in\u2014and she wanted nothing more than to spend her life with me. She made me promise that I would wait to propose until after <\/em>our one-year anniversary. I complied by asking for her hand on the 366th<\/sup> day of our courtship. Once her surprise and amusement subsided, she said \u201cYes!\u201d and we were engaged. My 13 year-old self leapt for joy. Soon, I was going to be having sex. Real, live, sex.<\/p>\nImagine the surprise on my wedding night\u2014after I had finally obtained the prize I had obsessed over\u2014when I realized I felt like the same person.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere were the fireworks?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t anything click inside me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen does the \u2018two become one flesh\u2019 feeling happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy, Jesus, didn\u2019t I feel complete?\u201d<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong, many aspects of my wedding experience were great\u2014but the reality of twenty-three years of false expectations hit me like a ton of bricks. I\u2019m still married to the same woman. We\u2019ve had our ups and downs, built a wonderful home together, and the sex has gotten much better (for your information, it takes practice). But I couldn\u2019t forget the feeling that I was misled in some way.<\/p>\n
A few years ago, I told my story to some friends who had also grown up in the Evangelical Church. They, in turn, told me their stories. I was struck by how similar the sexual message from our churches were, how closely our expectations lined up and how we prayed the exact same prayer as teenagers.<\/p>\n
Exactly. The. Same. Prayer.<\/p>\n
I thought I had been the only one. So, I started talking to more of my fellow Christians and many had similar experiences and prayed some form of that prayer. I listened to person after person tell me stories I had never heard in church. These experiences weren\u2019t being shared because they didn\u2019t feel safe talking about it in that setting. I realized something wasn\u2019t right.<\/p>\n
Adding to all this is the never ceasing, vitriolic sexual debate that our society is trapped in: the hows, whens, and whys people are allowed to have sex, use birth control, and get married. And the church is always at the center. I felt I needed to enter the fray, to add my voice to the debate, and to say \u201cthings have got to change.\u201d\u00a0 But I\u2019m not a politician. I\u2019m not a pastor. I\u2019m a filmmaker. I\u2019ve worked in television for years as an editor and a director (most recently on NBC\u2019s Chuck<\/em>). My greatest talent is telling stories.<\/p>\nAnd so, I\u2019ve embarked on a documentary project to examine what is going on; to analyze the disconnect between what is taught and what is practiced in the church. The title of my film is, you guessed it, Jesus, Don\u2019t Let Me Die Before I\u2019ve Had Sex.<\/em> Along with my producers Chris Pack and Brittany Machado, we are entering this delicate conversation in the best way we know how\u2014with an ear to all sides. In the tradition of Ira Glass\u2019 This American Life<\/em>, Alexander Payne\u2019s Citizen Ruth<\/em>, and Jimmy Carter\u2019s Camp David peace accords<\/span> we want to hear from everyone: single, married, gay, straight, divorced, chaste, and promiscuous. We want to hear the pains, the joys, the frustrations, the hopes, and the fears. And we want to provide a safe forum in which to do so.<\/p>\nWe believe it\u2019s of the utmost importance to talk about these things, not in a black-and-white, dogmatic way\u2014but openly, honestly, and lovingly. It\u2019s not our goal to judge, but to reflect back what is really going on in the lives of laity; hopefully, we\u2019ll help to steer the discussion in our Churches, our political debates, and our daily lives in a healthy direction.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Please check out our Kickstarte<\/a>r<\/a>\u00a0video below and then\u00a0visit our website for more information and to see some clips of interviews we\u2019ve already conducted<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u00a0 \u00a0 The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who\u2019s worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos and many other projects. He\u2019s currently working on a fascinating new film that looks at evangelicalism\u2019s teachings about sexuality. After you read his post, make sure […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
Jesus, Don't Let Me Die Before I've Had Sex<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\" The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who's worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jesus, Don't Let Me Die Before I've Had Sex\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\" The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who's worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Semi-Official Blog of Zack Hunt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-02-23T18:37:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/theamericanjesus.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/film.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Zack Hunt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Zack Hunt\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/\",\"name\":\"Jesus, Don't Let Me Die Before I've Had Sex\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-02-23T18:37:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-02-23T18:37:37+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#\/schema\/person\/92d888feb798c511bc3c9cb2fc4a4226\"},\"description\":\" The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who's worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Jesus, Don’t Let Me Die Before I’ve Had Sex\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/\",\"name\":\"The Semi-Official Blog of Zack Hunt\",\"description\":\"Zack writes about the intersection of faith and politics\u2026and sometimes BBQ.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#\/schema\/person\/92d888feb798c511bc3c9cb2fc4a4226\",\"name\":\"Zack Hunt\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7a3db085a35a483a38418a4937abcd6?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7a3db085a35a483a38418a4937abcd6?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Zack Hunt\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/author\/zhunt\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jesus, Don't Let Me Die Before I've Had Sex","description":" The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who's worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Jesus, Don't Let Me Die Before I've Had Sex","og_description":" The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who's worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/","og_site_name":"The Semi-Official Blog of Zack Hunt","article_published_time":"2012-02-23T18:37:37+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/theamericanjesus.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/film.png"}],"author":"Zack Hunt","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Zack Hunt","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/","name":"Jesus, Don't Let Me Die Before I've Had Sex","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-02-23T18:37:37+00:00","dateModified":"2012-02-23T18:37:37+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#\/schema\/person\/92d888feb798c511bc3c9cb2fc4a4226"},"description":" The following is a guest post by our new friend Matt Barber, who's worked on shows like Chuck and The O.C. as well as several music videos","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/2012\/02\/jesus-dont-let-me-die-before-ive-had-sex\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Jesus, Don’t Let Me Die Before I’ve Had Sex"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/","name":"The Semi-Official Blog of Zack Hunt","description":"Zack writes about the intersection of faith and politics\u2026and sometimes BBQ.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#\/schema\/person\/92d888feb798c511bc3c9cb2fc4a4226","name":"Zack Hunt","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7a3db085a35a483a38418a4937abcd6?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7a3db085a35a483a38418a4937abcd6?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","caption":"Zack Hunt"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/author\/zhunt\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3437"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5709"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5709\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/zackhunt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/theamericanjesus.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/film.png\" "\\"film\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n