Lent is traditionally a time of fasting. Many modern Christians have put a spin on that and turned it into a time of de facto dieting, giving up everything from sodas to chocolate to fast food. Well, I say let\u2019s put a spin on things again and give up healthy eating for Lent. Embrace your inner child for the next 40 days and consume all the junk food and culinary decadence you possibly can. Eat ice cream for breakfast. Go to McDonald\u2019s three times a day. Don\u2019t just eat a slice of pizza, eat the whole thing. After all, didn\u2019t Jesus say unless you become like little children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n This is a real thing<\/a>. Seriously. I didn\u2019t believe it either. I knew colon cleansing was a thing, I just didn\u2019t know coffee could be part of that equation. Since most of us probably ingest our Starbucks in the proper hole, let this Lent option be a ministry opportunity. If you know someone addicted to coffee enemas, suspect you know someone who is addicted to coffee enemas, or just want to embarrass a close friend or family member in public, take the time over the next 40 days to talk to them about their addiction. Put your hand on their shoulder and let them know you\u2019re there for them\u2026.just do it loud enough so everyone around can hear, \u2019cause, you know, accountability and stuff. Offer to pray for them. And then take them down to Starbucks and show them how coffee is meant to be consumed. Just keep an eye on them while you\u2019re there. Addiction is a tough thing to break. You don\u2019t want to find yourself embarrassed when your friend has dropped their pants in the middle of the store and is trying to shove their latte up where the sun don\u2019t shine.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Speaking of things that are lodged in our system, this Lent it\u2019s time to cleanse ourselves of Ken Ham. You know Ken Ham. He\u2019s the Austrialian guy who runs the Creation Museum in Kentucky and insists that people once domesticated velociraptors<\/a>. Look, we all loved Jurassic Park and, sure, it would be awesome if we could have pet dinosaurs, but for the sake of Christian dignity, can we please stop pretending that a random guy from Australia with absolutely no scientific training whatsoever knows more than the entire scientific community? Seriously, God won\u2019t be mad if you decide to \u201cbelieve\u201d in evolution for Lent. After all, He invented it.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Now, you may not think this one affects you, but give it time. At the rate she\u2019s going Taylor Swift will have dated and broken up with everyone on the planet by the end of Lent. Which means you need to prepare yourself now. She\u2019s gonna come along your way sometime in the next forty days, sing you a song, and try to sweet talk you into a date. But you must resist! And the only way to keep yourself from being turned into her next number one single is to decide now that you\u2019re giving up dating Taylor Swift for Lent before it\u2019s too late!<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Maybe this is just me, but I\u2019m tired of winter. My house is still buried under 2 feet of snow and I haven\u2019t been able to get warm since September. Besides, baseball\u2019s Spring Training has officially started, which means spring itself is just around the corner, which means summer isn\u2019t that far off. So, if you\u2019re like me and you\u2019re tired of all the cold, then fight back against the cold hard grip of Mother Nature and give up winter for Lent. Put on some shorts, wear flip flops to work, find somewhere and go for a swim. Sure, it may technically still be cold outside, but as they say in show business \u201cyou gotta fake it till you make it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n You may think you\u2019re free, but your not. Our lives are enslaved by unspoken rules forced upon us by an oppressive society. So, this Lent say \u201cno\u201d to social taboos and \u201cyes\u201d to freedom! Frustrated by that awkward silence in the elevator? Strike up an equally awkward conversation with the stranger next to you. Tired of holding in that fart in public? Be bold and let it go. Annoyed that you\u2019re expected to get dressed to go out in public? Live every day of Lent like you\u2019re going to Wal-Mart and stop bothering yourself with insignificant things like combing your hair, putting on deodorant, or wearing pants. Christianity is about freedom, so this Lent embrace the freedom you have in Christ.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Maybe you\u2019re thinking this one is just for your parents, and maybe it is. But if your Facebook wall is anything like mine, it\u2019s filled with people freaking out over the most absurd news stories, \u201cfacts,\u201d and memes. So this Lent, let\u2019s have parents and children unite together and stop believing every ridiculous thing you read on the internet. That Facebook post you read about some horrible thing the government is doing? Not true. That article someone forwarded you from a website you\u2019ve never heard of about the evils of the medical community? Not true. That email you go promised you riches? Well, that one\u2019s real, you\u2019ll just need to send that money you were asked to send to me, not the Nigerian prince.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Today on Facebook you\u2019re gonna see a lot of people announce they\u2019re giving up Facebook for Lent. Don\u2019t fall for it. They\u2019ll be back. They always come back. As my wife likes to say, \u201cGiving up Facebook is the adult temper tantrum.\u201d They may try to hide their attempt to be cool under the guise of devoting more time to God for Lent, but don\u2019t be fooled. It\u2019ll only last a few days, maybe a week. So, turn the tables on them. Show them how cool you are and give up giving up Facebook for Lent. Spend so much time of Facebook that everything else in your life falls apart. Sure, you may have nothing left in 40 days, but at least you\u2019ll have the pride of knowing you stuck to your commitment while everyone else caved and went back to Facebook after just a few days.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n![\"OLYMPUS](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/Healthy-Eating-Tips14.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n9. Coffee Enemas<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"climate-change-arabica-coffee-extinct-2-537x358\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/climate-change-arabica-coffee-extinct-2-537x358.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n8. Ken Ham<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"ken-ham\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/ken-ham.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n7. Dating Taylor Swift<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"Taylor-Swift-Lyrics\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/Taylor-Swift-Lyrics.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n6. Winter<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"winter3\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/winter3.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n5. Social Taboos<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"3_TABOO\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/3_TABOO.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n4. Believing Everything You Read On The Internet<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"Internet](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/iStock_Web-Internet.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n3. Giving Up Giving Up Facebook<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"facebook2\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/facebook2.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n2. The Gospel Coalition<\/strong><\/h3>\n
![\"The-Gospel-Coalition1\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/The-Gospel-Coalition1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"POPE](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/02\/pope-urbi.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n