![\"AmericanJesusMadnessBracket2013c\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/941\/2013\/03\/AmericanJesusMadnessBracket2013c.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nAs promised, here are the breakdowns of the matchups for the 1st<\/sup> round of American Jesus Madness.<\/p>\n Consider them a guide to voting or just disregard them all together of vote however the heck you want.<\/p>\n But before I give my analysis, there\u2019s a couple of housekeeping things I wanted to mention. First, if you haven\u2019t downloaded the bracket<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0you really need to. Filling out a bracket is half the fun. Once you\u2019ve read through the matchup breakdown use that accumulated knowledge to fill out your bracket, email it back to me<\/a><\/strong>, and take your chance at winning eternal glory.<\/p>\n Secondly, a word about voting. As you know (hopefully) the winners of each matchup will be determined by your votes which begin Tuesday, March 19th<\/sup> at 8:00am EST. The voting will take place using a poll like the one below. Super simple. But just in case you\u2019ve never used an online poll before, go ahead and take this one for a spin, see how it feels, and get ready to build some callouses on your clicking finger because voting is unlimited.<\/p>\n[polldaddy poll=6964944]\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Ok, now on with the show\u2026<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 1ST ROUND BREAKDOWN\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Tim Tebow vs. Ray Lewis<\/em><\/p>\n Tebow come into the tournament this year as the reigning American Jesus Madness tournament champion<\/a>. Ray Lewis comes in as the reigning Super Bowl Champion. In this clash of champions who will prevail? My money is on Lewis. Why? Two reason: his over the top shows of faith pregame, postgame, midgame, and every other time a camera was put in front of his face this year made Tebow look like a disinterested atheist in comparison. More importantly, if you don\u2019t vote for Ray Lewis he\u2019ll probably murder you.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n #RickWarrenTips vs. Mark Driscoll Tweets<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s true that #RickWarrenTips was just a flash in the pan, a one day riff on a bizzare tweet from the one and only Rick Warren<\/a>. But what allowed that viral moment to happen were the never ending, quasi-theological, and often nonsensical tweets Rick loves sharing with the world. In Mark Driscoll, however, Rick may have met his Twitter match. No one does thoughtless tweeting quite like the pope of Mars Hill. Sure, he may have a team of ghostwriters at his beck and call, but nothing keeps Mark Driscoll from sharing that certain level of gross insensitivity and pseudo-sophistication that only Mark Driscoll can. So who wins? It really doesn\u2019t matter. As long as these two keep tweeting, we all lose.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Scot McKnight vs. Albert Mohler<\/em><\/p>\n There\u2019s few things fundamentalists like more than one of their own who has the astounding capability to use polysyllabic words. It\u2019s this singular ability that makes Albert Mohler<\/a> the lord of Fundieland. Out in Hereticville resides Scot McKnight<\/a>. Scot is one of those wacky \u201cChristians\u201d who tries to corrupt the church by trying to convince us that we don\u2019t have to be fundamentalists in order to be Christians. Worse yet, he thinks science and faith aren\u2019t fundamentally incompatible as if it\u2019s \u201cok\u201d to believe in both the Creator of the universe AND the\u00a0laws and principles that Creator\u00a0imbedded within it. Obviously that\u2019s just crazy talk if, as all real Christians do, you accept a \u201cplain reading of Scripture.\u201d So, if you\u2019re one of those heretical people who thinks it\u2019s ok to ask questions about your faith and accept the demonic teachings of science, go right ahead and vote for McKnight. But real Jesus lovers, who would never do something so sinful as to question their leaders, will vote for his high holiness Albert Mohler.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Pope Benedict XVI vs. The Next Pope<\/em><\/p>\n As we all know by now, \u2018ole Benny shocked the world when he announced he was stepping down from the papacy last month. Just this week, right after I posted the bracket in fact (thanks conclave), his successor was named \u2013 Pope Francis I. Now the question is \u2013 what sort of relationship will these two vicars of Christ have? Since none of us have inside access to the Vatican, we\u2019ll never know for sure\u2026.which is exactly why we need to decide for ourselves by pitting them against one another in a popular vote. Francis seems like the favorite being about a decade younger, but don\u2019t count out Benedict. He\u2019s got a few loyal Swiss guards on his side that aren\u2019t afraid to do what\u2019s necessary to move \u2018ole Benny on to the next round.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Mark Driscoll vs. Christian Humility<\/em><\/p>\n Mark Driscoll makes another appearance in the tournament this year. This time as himself, rather than just his tweets. He\u2019s up against what is, by most accounts, his greatest opponent \u2013 Christian Humility. As Christians we are called to humble ourselves, to be servants to all, to turn the other cheek. But none of those things are very manly and if there\u2019s one thing Mark Driscoll is clear about it\u2019s that you can\u2019t be a real Christian if you\u2019re not manly. Christian Humility may have the final say on Judgment Day, but until then, it\u2019s going to have to be wary of Driscoll\u2019s pent up testosterone, blatant overcompensation for apparent rampant insecurities, and his immense MMA skills.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Joel Osteen\u2019s Smile vs. Joel Osteen\u2019s Mullett<\/em><\/p>\n There\u2019s so many things to love about Joel Osteen. That amazing smile, his wildly tacky yet incredible hair, the fact that he tell you God wants you to be rich. But as we all know you can\u2019t have your cake and eat it too. While the mullet is a transcendent hair that stretches across both time and geographical space, it\u2019s that million dollar smile that got Joel his millions. The mullet may apply its patented surprise attack from behind, but its gonna have a hard time overcoming the shekinah glory of Joel\u2019s pearly whites.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n History Channel\u2019s \u2018The Bible\u2019 vs. \u2018DJesus Uncrossed\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n There\u2019s few things we American Christians like more than historical revisionism. It allows us to remake the past in any way we like, to suit whatever agenda we have, all why erasing all of our inconvenient mistakes. This year brought us two great works of historical revisionism, one intentionally funny, the other unintentionally racist. The Bible<\/em><\/a> may have hours of footage and huge ratings behind it, but DJesus Uncrossed<\/em><\/a> has guns and samarai swords and a small army of Roman scalping disciples.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Mark Sandlin vs. Justin Lee<\/em><\/p>\n You don\u2019t get much more liberal than this matchup. Which is exactly why, as good Christian folk, we should probably just avoid it like the plague. In one corner you\u2019ve got Mark Sandlin, progressive Christian blogger<\/a> and co-founder of The Christian Left<\/em><\/a>. In the other corner, you\u2019ve got Justin Lee<\/a>, the man with the audacity to think Christians should love their neighbors even if they happen to be gay. Somewhere James Dobson is rolling in his grave over this match. Oh wait, he\u2019s not dead? Huh, well that would have been a good one-liner if\u2026oh, never mind. Either way you go here you\u2019re voting for a liberal and as the Bible clearly tells us, voting for liberals is a sin.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Rachel Held Evans vs. Biblical Womanhood<\/em><\/p>\n Rachel Held Evans<\/a> had an incredible year last year. No, I\u2019m not talking about her New York Times best-selling book<\/a> \u00a0<\/p>\n Peter Enns vs. Ken Ham<\/em><\/p>\n Ken Ham<\/a> gets a lot of flack. Sure, I\u2019m one of those people giving him a lot of that flack, but without Kenny we wouldn\u2019t have awesome people riding dinosaur dioramas to teach us about \u201creal Biblical science.\u201d Seriously, though, who wants to live in a world where people can\u2019t use their God given freedom to domesticate and ride dinosaurs? Peter Enns<\/a>, that\u2019s who. Enns would rather we believe in things like \u201cscience\u201d and \u201cevidence\u201d and \u201cfacts.\u201d Sounds like boring nerd stuff to me. I say bring on the dinosaur saddles!<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Hobby Lobby vs. Chick-Fil-A<\/em><\/p>\n It was a banner year for Christian owned businesses. By which I mean a banner year of embarrassment. Hobby Lobby stood up against Obamacare, but came across as standing up against women\u2019s health. Chick-Fil-A stood up for \u201ctraditional marriage\u201d only for people like this guy criticize their loyal followers<\/a> who showed up in droves to buy chicken sandwiches because a talking head on TV told them to. Now the two must battle it out to determine who wears the crown of American Christian business. Personally, I\u2019m taking Chick-Fil-A. I mean, have you ever had one of their chicken sandwiches or their nuggets or their lemonade or\u2026.Seriously, I don\u2019t want to live in a world without Chick-Fil-A.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Rob Bell\u2019s New Tan vs. Rob Bell\u2019s Missing Glasses<\/em><\/p>\n A lot of things have changed since Rob Bell fled the great white North and headed for the sunny shores of southern California. Most notably he lost his glasses somewhere along the way (my guess he accidently left them in a Nebraska bathroom) and picked up a tan. If you\u2019re a Rob Bell critic, then you\u2019re probably convinced this new tanned look is the clearest evidence that he\u2019s sold out to Hollywood. If you love Rob Bell, then you know that his gorgeous new tan is, like it was for Moses, the result of spending so much time in the presence of God. Personally, I don\u2019t mind the tan, but Rob Bell without the glasses is like Ron Swanson<\/a> without his mustache. Bring back the hipster glasses!<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n The Gospel Coalition vs. Homebrewed Christianity<\/em><\/p>\n You\u2019d be hard pressed to find two more different takes on the Christian faith than the neo-Reform Gospel Coalition<\/a> and the process homebrew of Tripp Fuller and Bo Sanders<\/a>. Which is exactly what makes them perfect for battle! After all, if you can\u2019t get along, why not fight it out? It\u2019s the \u2018Merican way! Now, I\u2019m sure, given the chance, Tripp and Bo would gladly sit down with the fine folks from The Gospel Coalition to talk through their differences on an epic Homebrewed podcast. But since the Homebrewed boys are not of the neo-Reformed persuasion they are, by definition, inferior mortals and not worthy of debate with the mighty Gospel Coalition. Which means we must put God to a vote \u2013 all-powerful and predestining God or self-limiting and in process with his creation? That\u2019s right, you get to decide the nature of God with your vote! You\u2019re welcome America.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Ann Voskamp vs. Tim Challies<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to find two more contrasting styles or personalities than Tim Challies<\/a> and Ann Voskamp<\/a>. Those differences flared up this past summer when Tim Challies called Ann Voskamp\u2019s book \u201cdangerous.\u201d<\/a> Voskamp, in her typical ridiculously gracious way asked Challies over for dinner. Challies eventually apologized. The matter could have just died there, but what\u2019s the fun in that? This is America and we need a war! More importantly, we need a winner! So, since we all know Ann is way too nice to give us the fight we want, this is our chance to do it for her!<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n John Piper vs. Christian Decency<\/em><\/p>\n For a long time John Piper has fought a determined and voracious effort against basic Christian decency. When the rest of the church held hands together and prayed for the victims of the Joplin tornadoes, Piper boldly stood up and declared it was the judgment of God at work<\/a>. When Christians and non-Christians alike broke down in tears over the shooting of innocent children at Sandy Hook elementary, John Piper definitely stood up again and declared the shooting was actually a theology lesson from God<\/a>. Now it\u2019s Christian Deceny\u2019s turn to fight back and take a stand for those who have the audacity to think that being a loving and decent human being to your neighbors is sort of part and parcel to being a Christian. Will Decency finally win the day or will Piper continue to pummel it into submission? That\u2019s up to you. No pressure, but the reputation of the entire Christian faith rests with your vote.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Tony Jones vs. Stephanie Drury<\/em><\/p>\n Last but not least, we\u2019ve got yet another battle of Godless liberals. This heretical matchup pits emergent church leader extraordinaire Tony Jones<\/a> against the high priestess of Stuff Christian Culture Likes<\/a>, Stephanie Drury. If you follow these two bloggers at all, then you know that despite their shared liberal heresy they\u2019ve had their clashes. Well, now it\u2019s time to settle things once at for all. Can Tony Jones muster the might of the emergent church or will the Stuff Christian Culture Likes army rise to the occasion? I believe Shakespeare said it best, \u201cHell hath no fury like a woman with devoted blog followers.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n YOUR 1ST ROUND BREAKDOWN<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Aneel Trivedi: American Jesus Madness \u2013 First Round Picks<\/a><\/p>\n Ben Irwin: American Jesus Madness (yes, it\u2019s a thing)<\/a><\/p>\n David Miller: American Jesus Madness \u2013 My First Round Picks<\/a><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=amerjesu-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1595553673\")