There was a Ring of my Bell…

Hi. Good Saturday morning to you all. Trina here, bringing you a little Saturday morning silliness.

Just two weeks ago, I told you all that there was a knock at my door. Well, this fine, brisk Saturday morning, my doorbell rang.

I handled the people on my stoop in much the same way I handled the last pair of God’s children who summoned me to my door on a “lazy” Saturday morning (I was working at the time). All the while, of course, the dog was trying to push her way by me.

I have to say that prior to that Saturday two weeks ago, it had been years since God’s children had last found their way to my door. I am getting suspitious.

Do you think they are ganging up on me?

Do you think they are passing my address around?

Do you think it’s a conspiracy?

Do you think it’s a sign?

Do you think I have to wait until it happens one more time (making it three times – trinity) before I chalk it up as a miracle and repent like Francis Collins after seeing a frozen waterfall? Or does it only count if the people were all frozen? (It was kind of cold outside both times.)

Do you think I ask too many questions?

Awesomesauce

Who said I even think on Saturdays?
Richard Wade

Do you think it’s a sign?

Yes, it’s the sign that you don’t have at your front gate saying “No Soliciting, Especially Religious.”
Raven

And people wonder why I no longer have any compunctions about ignoring strangers who knock on my door.
Sabayon

Oh, but Richard that just goads them. Once when I was taking care of a six-month old I saw some JWs coming down the street just as he was finally falling asleep, so I put a note on the door saying “Evangelicals who make the baby will be shot”. They rang the bell five times even after the baby started crying, and that was in Texas where there’s always a good chance the person threatening to shoot you does in fact have a shotgun handy. They probably didn’t know what “evangelicals” are.

Oh, and if they were from the same church it was almost certainly on purpose, now that they know they have a real live heathen on the block something must be done.
stephanie

Sabayon, I think you mean ‘WAKE the baby’ but it’s funnier the way you have it now. 😉

I just lean on the door-frame and look at them through their spiel, then laugh and ask: “What do you think?” when they ask if I’d like their literature.
We go about 8 months to a year before someone will try again. Evidently, I have an intimidating manner. 🙂
Reginald Selkirk

Was it the same brand as last time?
Stephen P

Saturday morning? Perhaps you could remind them that the biblical penalty for breaking the sabbath is death, and ask them (in a polite and friendly manner, of course) whether they would prefer to be stoned or hanged?
AMT

Dude, that is so weird, I had a child of God knock on my door this morning too. 10:30 AM on a Saturday in a college town…I’m sure he didn’t get many converts. But the fact that I got my first ever door-to-door god salesman on the same day that you got one…that seems like a sign. Maybe I should go down to his church tomorrow. 🙂
joanna

Remember, there’s no such thing as asking too many questions when you’re a freethinker, atheist type!

It’s been cold here too so we don’t have many Bible Thumpers visiting our neighborhood…but they arrive in the spring with the Daffodils and Tulips. I just open the door and say “No thank you” or hide and pretend I’m not home.

But next time, I might just say “No thank you, I’m not interested”. I’m slowly developing to the point of saying “No thank you, I’m not interested, I’m an atheist, heretic, freethinker.”

I actually bought a sticker to put on my door with the symbol of a man and woman holding a book with a cross on it and a big slash across it to signify: No Religious Marketing. But my kids thought it was rude and gave the wrong impression…isn’t that funny? To be scolded by my kids for being insensitive. We’re all heathens here in my household but we’re nice, friendly heathens that don’t want to come across as un-neighborly.
James Koran

I’ve spent years as a JW and know from experience that they do keep records in their door to door preaching. They keep track of gender and whether the house had children present, what was talked about, pets etc; and some cases, what kind of general mood the householder was in. You can say you’re not interested and they will assume it’s just for that day and return the next time the territory is given or taken. Put it this way, if “any” interest is evident or even “percieved” by them, they will be back promptly. It’s been years since knocking on doors for me, but I think you can have your address put on a “do not call on” list for at least six months or a year, or until they redo their territory assignments.
Wendy

I definitely think they’re passing your name around… They seem to be passing mine around, too. But if the Mormons get your information, you’re done for. Change your phone number, move to the other side of the city… Change your name…. Ah, to hell with it, you’ll NEVER escape if the Mormons get your info!
Richard Wade

For those who persist after being asked to not return: Answer the door while holding a running video camera and tell them they are being recorded. Let them identify themselves and their organization, and state their purpose for calling on you. Ask them to confirm the date. Tell them that you have asked them nicely more than once to stop calling on you, and if they persist, the video will be used as evidence in a lawsuit for harassment. I doubt that you’ll ever see them again.