The Late ‘Psychic’ Sylvia Browne Made 14 Final Predictions. All Are Wrong.

Sylvia Browne just died, as Hemant noted.

I hope she went in peace, without any of the pain and anguish that she habitually caused in the hearts of bereaved parents whom she fed unadulterated bullshit about their disappeared, dead, sometimes murdered children.

Here are Browne’s 14 final predictions. Are they any good? You be the judge.

(via Illuminutti)

About Terry Firma

Terry Firma, though born and Journalism-school-educated in Europe, has lived in the U.S. for the past 20-odd years. Stateside, his feature articles have been published in the New York Times, Reason, Rolling Stone, Playboy, and Wired. Terry is the founder and Main Mischief Maker of Moral Compass, a site that pokes fun at the delusional claim by people of faith that a belief in God equips them with superior moral standards.

  • Not_A_Smart_Man

    I won’t lie. It took me a second to get it.

    • Kallizm

      Took me a minute and I even checked the link again. I’m apparently quite slow in the morning.

    • CultOfReason

      Damn. If I hadn’t read this comment, I still wouldn’t have gotten it. Subtle, but highly effective once understood ;-)

    • The Other Weirdo

      Hahahahaha! I thought Terry had missed providing a link or something. Good one.

  • fs2013

    I love how they have the disclaimer: ” The information listed here is subject to change without notice…..”

    • KeithCollyer

      and entirely without any sense of irony

  • Alenonimo

    Oh man! That was funny! :D

  • Jason Hinchliffe

    I detect, sarcasm.

    • paulalovescats

      no, comma

  • paulalovescats

    Oh, HAHAHA, I get it. She didn’t see that coming!

    • Anonymous

      You misunderstand. She will be there in ghost form, invisible, imaterial, undetectable. Those who believe will talk to her. /sarcasm

      • Crazy Russian

        They will still be charged the standard admission fee then. Sorry, business is business.

    • The Other Weirdo

      Neither did she.

  • Dorothy

    she was scheduled for my city. so that saves a few poor suckers here from wasting their money

    • Astreja

      She was heading our way, too. That was a close one.

  • BatDaddy

    ZING! My first laugh of the day. Thanks!

  • Holytape

    Actually, she was correct about those predictions. Those shows will still go on, abet slightly less interactive.

  • flyb

    Well played, Terry.

  • Gus

    This is the lamest joke ever. I’m not going to say we shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, because I think we ought, on some level, to remember the terrible legacy some people, Sylvia included, leave behind and so they are not remember purely for hagiographic obituaries. But making pathetic jokes like this about a dead person ought to be beneath us.

    Well some of. Others seem to delight in the deaths of people they disagree with.

    • Eve

      I’d be very surprised to hear someone be particularly sad about hearing the adults of Westboro die. Or Bryan Fischer. Or Pat Robertson. Some people simply deserve little more than death. Someone who habitually lies to people to give them a false comfort that easily is stripped away so that they can make money falls into that category for me.

      • Lagerbaer

        In some cases she didn’t even gibe false comfort but false discomfort, telling that she had spoken to a mother’s dead child, only for that child to be found alive some time later…

    • TiltedHorizon

      “But making pathetic jokes like this about a dead person ought to be beneath us.”

      The cruel and “pathetic joke” was already played on all the vulnerable people denied closure by the farce this con-woman played. Her unforeseen passing has now made her subject to the very meme she perpetuated and profited from.

    • tsig

      Disagree! She exploited to the most vulnerable of people.

      Oh wait… I’m getting a vibe from the other world, she wants to say she’s sorry for everything.

  • TiltedHorizon

    I sense the opportunity to channel Sylvia’s spirit and complete the work she started (and get paid in the process)….

    I sense someone here with us, a woman figure, I feel she has a ‘S’ name….. Now I see a color, something kinda dark, I feel like this color is a surname perhaps. I’m feeling like a shower is needed, as if covered in filth, no wait, like this spirit has done ‘bad’ things, dishonest things, like a grifter or thief.

    Did anyone here lose an ‘S’ named woman recently? Anyone? …..

  • John Secular Smith

    Oh, snap.

  • Matt Eggler

    She is going to keep those scheduled appearances with the help of John Edward.

    • Lando

      Hell, I’ll let her take over my body if I get the money

  • Daniel Miles

    Terry, I’m sorry, this is in poor taste. If you disapprove of Browne for making her living by exploiting people who have lost loved ones, don’t gloat over her death. Every person deserves a basic level of respect, this is an opportunity to separate disapproval for what someone does from disapproval for that person.

    • Terry Firma

      Browne was a monster and a charlatan who exploited a lot of extremely vulnerable people. She chose to. Someone who has lived her life fucking over the bereaved and wounded for personal gain deserves nothing but disapproval and mockery, in life as well as death.

      Maybe Browne was nice to her cat. You know what, let’s just go with that: she loved her kitty. Great.

      To her victims, she was still a bee-otch of a rarely-seen magnitude. I encourage you to click links 2, 3, and 4, if you haven’t already.

      I didn’t wish her dead … but I don’t give a rodent’s posterior that she died.

  • shuteme

    Well as it seems to upset some I will not say I’m happy that that cruel money stealing pos died, I am however delighted that she no longer lives. There now that’s better.

  • Amanda


  • Greg G.

    I guess we will have to wait and see if she fulfills these obligations, won’t we?