Christian “Prophetess”: I’ve Met Jesus and “He Was Very Handsome”

Kat Kerr, the self-proclaimed Christian “Prophetess” who once attempted to beat back Hurricane Irma with a scepter, then, after seeing all the damage caused by Irma, blamed everyone else for not following her lead, gave a rather… interesting speech last night.

She was giving an opening speech for the Heaven’s Invitation 2018 conference. When she got to a part about Jesus, she reminded the audience about how big and strong and sexy the Savior is.

You can hear it starting around the 8:40 mark:

… We should be like Him. And act like Him. And it’s not impossible or He would not have said, “Let us give man dominion,” you know? And “let us make man in Our image.” That is what they look like.

They have arms and legs. They have heads. They have bodies. I’m talking about the Trinity and Holy Spirit, who is invisible. He has a body. He’s big. He’s a really big and tall guy. He can be as big as He wants! I’ve seen Him appear as like swirls of color or, like, tornadoes with the flames of fire all on Him. Sometimes, I’ll see Him walk in and there will just be flames outlining His whole person. If Jesus wanted to, He could make Himself big enough to hold this whole Earth in His hand. Or He could be normal-size on the Earth, which is around six foot tall.

And He was very handsome. I noticed that he wasn’t very comely, but that was when He was being beaten and hung on the cross. You know, that no man would want to look up on Him. But normally, He was very strong. He picked up trees. He was a carpenter…

I can’t tell if she’s reading the Bible or reminiscing about her favorite Paul Bunyan erotica.

A minute later, talking about Jesus being a carpenter, Kerr claimed that if you go to your mansion in Heaven and see furniture with an etched cross into it — i.e. any two lines that intersect — there’s a reason for that.

If you go to Heaven… and you see something that has that little mark on it, the little tiny mark, little cross, He made that personally. God likes marking.

There you have it. In Heaven, Jesus makes all the furniture. And he tags it with his signature (i.e. a picture of the weapon used to murder Him) just in case you have any doubts. In Heaven.

Just listen to the audience gasp when she says all this. It’s disturbing.

Also disturbing? These people are probably going to vote in the next election. So get yourself registered now.

(Thanks to Kyle for the link)