When Jesus Thinks You’re Too Fat, It’s Gwen Shamblin To the Rescue

In the just-posted Gwen Shamblin compilation below, the nineties diet guru from Tennessee talks (in multiple inadvertent double entendres) about “how to transfer a relationship with food over to a loving relationship toward God.”

My favorite line:

“He is not a wimpy lover; He is a passionate, jealous god!”

Also:

“Let him feel you as you have never been feeled before.”

That’s hawt.



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Dead, Frozen Indian Guru Ashutosh Maharaj Is Just Meditating, Followers Insist

When a man is declared clinically dead and his body subsequently spends six weeks in a freezer, a good guess would be that he’s no longer alive. But followers of Ashutosh Maharaj insist that their beloved guru is just in deep meditation (and possibly pining for the fjords).



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Old Anglican Churches Hold Local Homeowners Liable For Church Repairs

How would you feel if you got an official letter that held you, an ordinary homeowner, responsible for the repairs of a local church? Even if you didn’t belong to the congregation and never set foot inside the building?

That, amazingly, happens frequently in England and Wales.

When Elaine Hession opened the letter she almost passed out, and her partner Jonathan Hill turned “as white as a ghost”.

Last month the couple received a notice from the Land Registry informing them their local church had registered its right to make them contribute to the cost of repairs.

Under chancel repair liability, homeowners living within the parishes of churches built before 1536 can be held liable for costs.


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Man Saved From Submerged Car Credits God’s Grace For the Rescue… and Prepares to Sue His First Responders

A Colorado man who was rescued from his submerged car by first responders now claims, via his lawyer, that it was something else that saved him: grace, presumably of the divine kind.

And he’s getting ready to sue the people who pulled him to safety – because  he says they took too long to show up.

A Broomfield man who was rescued from his submerged car during the September floods has filed papers indicating he might sue his rescuers and first responders.



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Islamic Advisory Council in Pakistan Says Girls Should Be Permitted to Marry at Any Age

The prophet Mohammed famously married a six- or seven-year-old, Aisha, and consummated the marriage when the girl was nine or ten.

Even Muslim theocracies can’t get away with that kind of child rape anymore, so they’ve made concessions to modernity and raised the marriageable age of girls. In Pakistan, it’s officially 16 — but many of the nation’s top clerics now say that’s an un-Islamic innovation that ought to be reversed.

They want no marriageable age set by law. None.



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