These New Age Bullshit Generators Will Help You Sound Like a Guru

I learned a great new word from Daniel Dennett recently, one that I can see myself using rather a lot from now on (you’ve been warned): deepity. Deepity is the quality found in a statement whose author takes a failed stab at profundity. It seems deep at first glance, but it’s actually squishy and meaningless when you examine it. Deepity is probably the most useful neologism since Stephen Colbert‘s “truthiness.”

Here’s some deepity for you:

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Microchips-For-Newborns Hoax Has Thousands of Christians Believing That the End Times Are Near… Again

It doesn’t matter how atrociously written the prose is, how unlikely the story, or how obscure or unreliable the site. Even if you put the word HOAX over the headline, hordes of people will still treat a made-up tale as if it were real.

This dystopian fantasy, recounted here by a site called Top Info Post, started last year (possibly with this Italian web publication) and is still doing the rounds on Facebook.

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Satan as a Mashup: Today’s Devil Combines Zoroastrianism, Greek Mythology, and Lots of Artistic License

The satan of the Old Testament was merely a not-especially-powerful angel in God’s employ, tasked with correcting and disciplining sinners.

A millennium or two later, that supernatural being had morphed into humankind’s most-feared enemy — so evil, cunning, and potent that he could outwit the Creator Himself. The devil tempted and tricked mortals into sin and ruled over a fiery underworld where his helpers gleefully tortured those who had transgressed against the will of the Almighty.

How did that remarkable transformation come about? Paul Gallagher has an interesting write-up on that at Dangerous Minds:

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Cameroon Government Is Closing Churches That Are ‘Harmful to Society’

In Cameroon, Pentecostal churches are everywhere. Radio journalist Andrés Caballero scrutinized the country’s religious scene for NPR’s Weekend Edition:

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Equifax Not Sure God is Real, Screws Him Out of Car Loan

God Gazarov, 26, is a native Russian who says he was named after his grandfather. The Brooklyn jewelry store owner has built up a decent credit score (in the 720 range), but that’s only if you believe Experian and TransUnion. The third credit reporting agency, Equifax, has put God through, well, hell, suspecting that he doesn’t exist.

Apparently, the unusual first name raised red flags over at Equifax.

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