I’m a Woman, Not a Sin

Christianity has had a bit of a sexism problem since it began; with all of the apologetics surrounding the issue, I believe that the problem starts with the opening narrative of man being created in God’s image and the woman a lesser copy, made in the image of man. Even in the most favorable of contexts, the Bible cannot be seen as a guide for any individual who values egalitarianism — it’s rife with issues of financial, gender, and racial inequality. While many churches reject the most extreme strictures of gender stereotyping, embodied perhaps, in the infamous Quiverfull movement, the ideology of men and women having certain “callings” or “spiritual gifts” fall across gender lines. Men’s spiritual gifts, as taught by the church I grew up in, consisted of things like “leadership” and “organization,” while women were typically granted with “listening” and “nurturing.”

(Here’s a link to a frackin’ huge manual on how to discern your spiritual gift and how to put it to use.  Bear in mind, though, that this is the Evangelical Lutheran denomination and they are known to be a bit more progressive about women’s roles in the church. In the church I grew up in, women were restricted to leading the praise and worship (though never alone), teaching children’s Sunday school and children’s church, and sharing an occasional testimony or musical piece.)

Issues of sexism, much like anti-intellectualism, homophobia, and racism, tend to be pervasive, systemic. You can hack off an offending bit, but it’s an exercise in futility, knowing that the rest of it is rotted through as well. The trick, then, is to convince people that it’s not actually rotten, or maybe that rot is good for you, or maybe that it’s been this way for years, so why bother?

One of the most convincing lines, though, is the one that tells us “it’s fixed!” or “problem solved!” It’s a pretty common line that gets trotted out by theist and atheist, skeptic and non-skeptic alike; when atheists tell us that feminism is irrelevant, or when non-minorities tell us that racism is a thing of the past, it makes it that much harder for the feminist and the anti-racist to be heard. No one likes a whiner — especially someone whining about a problem that people don’t believe exists.

And there’s the rub: sexism and racism and all of the other –isms are still very much alive and well in this country. It took us forty-four presidents before a black man won the office (and there were virtually no viable female candidates this time around). Up until recently, anti-choice activists played a key role in the leadership of the Komen Foundation.  A 16-year-old female is subject to objectification within the atheist community.

But, unlike our theist counterparts, we have no need for the reliance on dogma and rhetoric; if we want to, we can employ a healthy dose of skepticism to the problems we see around us, hopefully generating human-oriented solutions to human-created problems. It’s daunting, no doubt about that, but the tools of critical thinking and skeptical inquiry are our best bet at confronting inequality. Our community needs sober eyes and empathetic hearts.

Unfortunately, theism — Christianity in particular — is forced to recycle the same old dogmas into the mill, hoping and (literally) praying for something revelatory to be excreted. At the end of the day, you’re ultimately confined to the boundaries of the holy book you insist on following; if unhappiness results, it’s because you failed to follow the formula, not because the formula is crap to begin with.

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Take this song, for instance. Lecrae is a Christian rapper, and while I haven’t been immersed in Christian music for several years, it seems that he embodies their favorite “ghetto redemption” narrative. These lyrics were posted on Facebook by a theist friend, explaining that the song is an interpretation of Proverbs 5:1-14, a passage written as a warning against the evils of adultery. As I read through the lyrics, my heart just sank… as with much of Christian culture, it reeks of sexism, impossible expectations, and endless guilt. Check them out:

“Walking to my grave letting evilness enslave me

Evil looks so lovely covered in her lace of lies

And the silky smooth seduction just manipulates my mind

Her fabrical fabrication is fueling my fascination

While I’m intoxicated she starts her assassination

I’m losing all my honor and my years to the merciless

Giving all my life away but I’m just so immersed in this (killa)”

And this one:

“Her feet go down to DEATH, so don’t let her consume you

Even though her heart is black, her exterior’s beautiful

She’ll take your life away, strip away your joy

Pretends that she gon build you up but she’s just gon destroy you”

In Christian culture, femininity is a dangerous downward spiral into immorality. The difference between “wholesome” and “seductress” is an exceptionally thin line that varies wildly from group to group; sometimes it’s hemlines, sometimes it’s haircuts. Despite the fact that a woman can unknowingly step into the “seductress” category, Lecrae’s seductress is purposeful in her intent, complete with the idea that she is “manipulating” him and “assassinating” him, like the “merciless,” cruel, sexy bitch that she is. Consequently, you get the idea that any woman who is behaving in a way that you interpret as “seductive” is doing so with knowledge and intent.

I can’t think of a more permanent set of shackles than that given to Christian youth by being told that their bodies are the source of their immorality, that bodies are something to be thoroughly covered up, forgotten, out of sight, out of mind. If you fail to do so completely, if you leave a bit too much skin uncovered, or wear a shirt that’s a little too tight, the assumption is that you are inviting depravity and sin into your life and you know it. I have to wonder how many of my adolescent and teen years I wasted, intentionally distancing myself from my male peers who could have been my friends in the name of purity/fear (I can never remember which…) or patting myself on the back and reassuring myself of the supposed superiority my purity gave me (“It’s so sad and empty to live a life trying to impress all the boys when you could have a greater purpose in life, like me”). There is never enough that a girl can do to secure her purity — it’s in what she wears (every piece), how she walks, how she stands, how she does her hair and makeup, how much eye contact she makes… in a self-selecting survey about modesty, men from a variety of ages answered questions about what constitutes modesty. Check out the results of the agree/disagree statement “the way a girl walks can be a stumbling block”:

75% of responders agree that girls walking can be difficult to deal with.

And some of the written commentary:

"This type of immodesty can only be deliberate."

And I can’t even speak to what the boys go through. The other side of the coin that women’s bodies are responsible for these sexual indiscretions (which could be as small as thinking about another person in a sexual manner) is that men are made to believe that women are sins to commit, rather than individuals with agency. Remember a couple weeks back, when Andrew bravely shared his story about his grisly excommunication from Mars Hill? Remember how his fiancé and fellow fornicator was faced with the same excruciating treatment and ostracism?

No? Neither do I!

It, too, falls into the same gendered crap where women are seen as “weaker vessels” that succumb to their own wicked desires while men are the strong leaders responsible for their redemption. Andrew, you see, was not a strong or leader-y enough of a man (according to Mars Hill standards) to resist the temptations of the flesh; it was his fault and his problem that he had had a “physical” relationship with his fiancé and it was his fault for succumbing to the temptations of the flesh, not that he had broken the trust he had established with his fiancé.

The Christian model of gender roles leaves one side voiceless and the other overburdened with unearned responsibility. Neither position is enviable.

The takeaway here is that we can do gender so much better. As non-theists and as skeptics, we need to understand the pervasiveness of the inequity that surrounds us (in whatever form it takes) and to be honest about our own personal investment in these stereotypes. The atheist and skeptical community may not have the toxic written dogma of religious institutions, but I think we should hold off on the cake and the streamers until we understand how closely we are knit to our long-held beliefs.

Posted in General | 72 Comments

Pascal’s Roulette



Posted in General, Humor | 66 Comments

The Reason Rally is Coming…

TheThinkingAtheist just put together this awesome promotional video for the Reason Rally!

Are you getting excited?

(I’ll take your silence as a resounding “Yes!”)

Posted in General | 30 Comments

New SSA Affiliate Forms at Emerson College

There is a new Secular Student Alliance affiliate at Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts!

It was started by freshman Ian Stewart after a winter break spent engrossed in The God Delusion. He and two other freshmen started the group because “[they] felt inspired to counter campus faith-based groups by uniting [their] fellow non-believers.”

Look at those charming faces.

They’ve spent seven hours over the last week getting students to help create their group on campus:

“As someone who is both gay and an atheist, I feel more persecuted as an atheist than as a gay man, and that’s saying something,” said [Stewart] the performing arts major. “I wanted to create a group for not just atheists, but agnostics and humanists, so that they could feel comfortable.”

I have heard that a lot from non-theists I’ve met over the years. It’s not always easy to come out — and if you’re a double threat (heh), then it can be even harder. That why it’s great that the number of SSA affiliates has been rising so rapidly. It’s easier than ever to come out as an atheist now, but there’s still some areas where it can be scary. Stewart says he wants to help remove the stigma attached to being an atheist and plans on getting his group involved with volunteer work.

Kate Caldwell, the president of the Emerson Christian Society, says she was surprised to hear about the formation of the group, possibly due to Emerson’s largely secular student body.

“There are the Christian, Catholic, and Jewish organizations on campus, and I just never had thought that people with agnostic or atheist views would want a place to meet and talk about that,” said the writing, literature, and publishing major. “If they do, I think that’s totally cool.”

Sounds like an awesome, totally reasonable response! Glad to hear that there are some open minded and rational people at Emerson. Not everyone understands why the group is a welcome addition to the school’s groups, but member Sara Detrick had a response to that:

“I was talking to a girl on my floor who is a part of a Christian group here, and she said there were so many secular people there is no need for the group,” [member] Detrick said. “I think because there’s so many of us, we need to be connected so that we can get things done.”

I’m looking forward to see how this group does. I hope they flourish up there in Boston!

Posted in General, Secular Student Alliance | 7 Comments

Family Guy Discusses ‘Faith Healing’

I haven’t seen the episode yet, but last week’s episode of Family Guy (now available on Hulu) had an interesting premise:

When Stewie makes a new friend Scotty Jennings the Griffins invite him over for a play date. But when he collapses, they rush him to the hospital where they discover he has cancer. When his parents Ben & Hope arrive, Lois finds out that they refuse regular medical care and rely on the power of faith for healing. Lois is aghast at their refusal to get competent help. When she tries to confront them about getting professional help, they still refuse. When even Joe is unable to help, Lois decides to take matters into her own hands and kidnaps Scotty.

If there are any parts we should pay special attention to, please leave the timestamps in the comments!

Posted in General, Humor | 33 Comments

Rapper Gripp Releases Atheism-Themed Album

A rapper by the name of Marshall “Gripp” Gillson (also a 2009 graduate of Morehouse College) is independently releasing (PDF) an album today called Head in the Cloud.

Several of the singles from it have atheistic themes, including the song “The Future Goes“:

An excerpt from the lyrics (at the 1:14 mark):

So when we say that we’re better than you/ essentially that//
is to say that we pay attention to facts//
So come with us. We can teach you every attack//
the pseudoscientific mindset sets in a trap//
You will never go back/ Once you’re given the awe//
it’s grander than any caricature religion could draw//
I had a vision of all/ of us in a prison of straw men//
My mission is to make sure they ain’t winning this war//
So the battle lines are drawn in the sand/ ‘cos all that I am//
is a man/ shaping his logical thoughts to a plan/ Damn//
We need clear heads to get out of this mess//
So tell religious leaders step aside; it’s probably best/ Yes//

Who needs Gospel music when there’s Godless rapping to be spread?

Buy the album and keep this sort of thing going!

Posted in Fine Arts, General, Pop Culture | 9 Comments

She Wanted a Secular Wedding… So She Told Her Family About Her Atheism

You want to know why campus atheist groups are so important?

The blogger at Faithless and Fulfilled tells her story:

When I arrived at college I met people of many different faiths and people with no faith at all. I met normal, moral, happy people who happened to be atheist. The contradiction between what I’d been told about non-religious people, and the actual non-religious people I met was so stark, that I was forced to actually examine some of my beliefs. I began gradually, by simply allowing myself to question what I’d been taught. It took practice. At first I was overcome by guilt anytime I would permit myself to think, “Well, what if that’s wrong?” Eventually, though, once I truly opened my mind, all of the walls came tumbling down. I felt that I’d been duped. How could I have been so stupid? Religion was a bad joke and I’d fallen for it, hook line and sinker.

Over the next year, I began really developing my own ideals, morals, and purpose, and I slowly started speaking out. I use the label atheist, because I know it is a taboo. I want people to get to know me and to realize I am a normal, moral human being, and then learn… oh by the way, I also don’t believe in god. I truly believe the only way to change the negative stereotypes surrounding being an atheist, is to show that world that there are lots of normal atheists that contribute to the good of this country every day.

If you keep reading the initial post on her blog, though, you realize it’s not so easy for her to come out to her family. They’ve basically exiled her ever since she told them she didn’t believe in a god and wanted a secular wedding.

It’s rarely an easy journey.

My parents and I barely talk about this website and it’s been part of my identity for years now. They try to change the subject if I ever mention the site or that I’m traveling to speak somewhere. It took a long while for them to not be angry about it and now they sort of accept it. I’ll take that for now…

In any case, I’m keeping tabs on this blog because I want to see how F&F’s journey pans out. Hopefully, it’ll get better for her over time. It definitely helps to be out and proud about it online :)

Posted in General | 7 Comments

Vote for the Mid Ohio Atheists’ Next Billboard

You know how you all complain about how atheist billboards tend to look awful and are in desperate need of a graphic designer? Last month, the Mid Ohio Atheists said they’d pay for a billboard that looked awesome in order to avoid that fate. They took submissions. They selected finalists.

Now they need you to vote on the one you want to see go up.

These are my personal favorites, though there are plenty more to choose from:

I would love to see any of those go up, but my vote’s for the top one (by Michael Tyznik).

Posted in Atheist Advertising, General | 51 Comments

Short Stories of Coming Out

After that last article, I need to read something less gut-wrenching. Thankfully, reader Lauren pointed me to a more inspirational website.

It’s a series of short responses to the prompt “When I came out…

Some of them are funny. Some are frustrating. Some are heartbreaking. But in all cases, there’s a common thread: If you’re still in the closet about your sexuality, know that there are other people going through the same thing. You’re not alone. There’s a lot of support for you out there.

Posted in General, GLBT | 5 Comments

Sure, Gay Teens Are Killing Themselves, but What About the Christians?!

There’s a heartbreaking story in Rolling Stone by Sabrina Rubin Erdely about anti-gay bullying, the resulting suicides, the teachers who didn’t (or, arguably, couldn’t) do anything about it, the district administrators who sat back and watched it happen, and the Christian groups who honestly believe they bear no responsibility whatsoever for what happened.

And it all takes place in Michele Bachmann‘s district.

You might want some tissues…

“This isn’t something you kid about, Brittany,” her mom scolded, snatching the kitchen cordless and taking it down the hall to call the Johnsons. A minute later she returned, her face a mask of shock and terror. “Honey, I’m so sorry. We’re too late,” she said tonelessly as Brittany’s knees buckled; 13-year-old Sam had climbed into the bathtub after school and shot herself in the mouth with her own hunting rifle. No one at school had seen her suicide coming.

No one saw the rest of them coming, either.

With the adults thus distracted by endless policy discussions, the entire district became a place of dread for students. Every time a loudspeaker crackled in class, kids braced themselves for the feared preamble, “We’ve had a tragic loss.” Students spoke in hushed tones; some wept openly in the halls. “It had that feeling of a horror movie – everyone was talking about death,” says one 16-year-old student who broke down at Anoka High School one day and was carted off to a psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation. Over the course of the 2010-2011 school year, 700 students were evaluated for serious mental-health issues, including hospitalizations for depression and suicide attempts…

It’s a tragic story, made worse by the fact that the people who could’ve done something for these kids were forced to remain silent (or, more euphemistically, “neutral”) when it came to the issue of homosexuality.

Even if you’re an anti-gay Christian “family” group, there’s a way to respond to an article like this.

You start by saying that the losses were tragic. That your heart goes out to the families of those children who felt there was no other option. That, despite your disagreements, every life is precious. That while you firmly oppose “promoting” homosexuality, there’s a difference between a clash of ideas and actual harassment.

I’m not saying I would accept that statement even if a Christian group made it, but at least it’d show an inkling of compassion…

So how did the Illinois Family Institute — a Christian group in the same vein as the Minnesota Family Council mentioned in the article — respond to the piece?

Well, let’s just say Laurie Higgins didn’t take my advice:

These activists pretend their ultimate goal is to end bullying, but only the naïve or ignorant believe that whopper. The truth is that they are exploiting legitimate anti-bullying sentiment in order to implement their politicized anti-bullying programs, all in the service of achieving their ultimate goal: the eradication of conservative moral beliefs about homosexuality.

If they can’t achieve that doctrinaire goal, they will reluctantly settle for bullying conservatives into silence. They will accept an America in which it is politically, legally, or socially impossible for conservatives to express the moral beliefs homosexual activists can’t eradicate, leaving homosexuals and their allies free to gambol about the public square with all their First Amendment rights intact.

Clearly, Erdely is not concerned with ending teen suicide. Her mission, pursued with messianic fervor, is to humiliate conservatives into submission by any unethical means necessary. Christians in Minnesota and other school districts around the country must not cower in fear.

Right. Because the Christian groups are the real victims here… How *dare* those liberals try to take away our right to tell gay people how worthless they are and why they need to be fixed? Why can’t they just have more tolerance for intolerance?

Higgins also spends time rationalizing all the awful events mentioned in the article. As if everything is negated because a few details weren’t included. This one may be the most disturbing:

Not once did Erdely suggest that the bullies were Evangelicals or motivated by Evangelical beliefs about homosexuality, which, by the way, are simply orthodox Christian beliefs widely held by the finest contemporary Protestant and Catholic theologians as well virtually all theologians in the history of Christendom until the late 20th Century.

Yeah! There’s no proof Christians were the bullies! Even though the “finest” Christian theologians of our time totally agree with the bullies’ beliefs…

Incidentally, the Rolling Stone article mentions a Naperville, Illinois high school. It happens to be the one I work at… Despite the context given in the piece, I feel like we provide a safe climate for LGBTQ students. If there was ever a problem in our school like the one at Anoka High School, I have no doubt many teachers and administrators would come to the defense of the victims and not the bullies. I know I would.

Too bad the “compassionate” Christian groups can’t do the same thing.

Posted in Education, General, GLBT | 153 Comments