Lesson Three: Pop-Culture Is Propaganda

The demon Slubgrip's previous adventures were gathered and recorded in Fr. Longenecker's Lent Book, The Gargoyle Code. Written in Screwtapian style, Slubgrip instructs his protege Dogwart, while trying to keep tabs on his own 'patient'—all while the tempters tumble through Lent to Easter Day.

Flukes! Annelids! Nematodes! Flatworms and Tapeworms and Slimestrings all! Come to order.

Honestly, you would have thought that having one of the most senior and well-known tempters in the Lowerarchy here for your instruction, you would have been grateful and at least a little respectful. Instead I, Slubgrip, who should be your Master, am greeted each day with your adolescent pranks and japes. Whoever wrote the name 'Ignatius Loyola' on the board—it's not funny and I resent the implication.

Glimwort, will you kindly stop squirming in your slime over there and wake up? Snort, I'd like a word with you after class.

I instructed you poor squirmers in a few basics in the last session. I know philosophy isn't your strong suit, and I must admit whenever I have tried to do some serious thinking on the underlying processes and principles of temptation I have experienced a certain lack of clarity—a lack of grip. In the underworld, whenever one tries to see clearly, things go out of focus. Nevertheless, you've had the basics, now to some practicalities.

This is Pop Cult 101 so you will be learning all the tricks of the trade in modern popular culture. We'll begin today with Propaganda and then move on to a very intriguing subject indeed. 

Propaganda, my dear slugs, we have defined in various ways down through the ages. It might be called 'Education' or 'Communication technology' or 'Human Resources Enhancement'. Whatever we call it, the bottom line is that propaganda is indoctrination. I choose the word carefully, for 'indoctrination' has to do with 'doctrine' and what we are most concerned about in propaganda is making sure the hairless chimps actually believe what we want them to believe.

What we aim to do through popular culture is construct a matrix through which the miserable vermin view the world that they think is so real. You see, unless they have a set of assumptions or, if you like, a particular set of eyeglasses, to view the world they might just be curious or open-minded and come to see or understand what the enemy calls 'reality' . . . and that would be most undesirable. What he means by 'reality' is the way things really are—"warts and all" as the saying goes.

This is not what we want. Instead the poor nincompoops must be given an image not of reality, but of some idealized future that they might one day attain. This is what we call propaganda. Through images, speeches, plays and entertainment and music, literature, and every kind of communication possible we build up in their minds a beautiful world that they want to attain.

Of course they will never attain such an idealized future because it was only ever manufactured by us to start with. It never did exist, never will exist because it never can exist because it was never real. If you turn to pages fifty-seven through sixty-nine in your textbooks you will see some examples of our most successful campaigns in the past.

Do you see the images of beautiful German youths straining forward to a beautiful future? What about the large posters of comrade Lenin, Chairman Mao, and Uncle Joe Stalin. All of these men were successful hosts for some of our more accomplished tempters, and through propaganda we were able to transform them into mentors, father figures, ideals, and exemplars for millions.

We're not doing too badly with that murderer Che Guevara either. However, I do not wish to dwell on the details dear worms. These are mere examples.

Propaganda is the tool we use to inculcate a hope for a future that will never be, and alongside this hope we slip in a world view, an ideology, a doctrine, a substitute religion if you like, that is agreeable to our Father below. If you have done your homework . . . Grimwort, kindly leave the room. The smell you've just emitted is noxious in the extreme. Don't come back until you've found a cure . . .

As I was saying, if you've done your homework my dear slugs, you will know that millions of the poor hairless vermin will march along behind their masters blindly believing that they are bringing in a brave new world, while at the same time they are starving children, raping, pillaging, locking up millions in concentration camps, murdering millions more, enslaving whole populations and massacring multitudes.

This is the brilliance of propaganda. Through the images and manipulations of popular culture we entrance the population of chimp-souls with a pipe dream while millions are butchered, and if they ever stop to notice, our servants simply say, "You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." Then with a few party slogans, some inspiring images, and the odd speech from the leader everyone is back on track, marching in step down to our Father's house below.

Right, let's take a break shall we? I need a cup of lava, and when I come back we'll finish. You there, Snort, come along with me. I have an idea that I think you'd be interested in . . .