1. Get Some Rest: If you've experienced a broken dream you may well be exhausted, having spent considerable energy trying to attain what you desperately wanted. If you're anything like us, you need some deep, restorative rest. Some ideas include:
—Weekends without housework
—Sleep ins and leisurely breakfasts
—Gentle walks in the country or by the seaside
—Perhaps a reduced workload at the office
—Time alone (if you're an introvert) or with friends (if you're extrovert)
For Merryn, this relaxation came particularly through reading novels. For me, it came through beauty—walking in beautiful places and visiting art and photographic galleries. Whatever it is for you, have a season of doing more of what truly relaxes you.
2. Have Some Recreation: People with broken dreams couldn't create what they wanted and so they need to create something else. You could think about:
—Taking up a new hobby, like drawing, painting, gardening, photography
—Learning a musical instrument
—Joining a sporting club or a gym
—Starting a new project, like a walking group, or writing a book
Remember, recreation literally means 're-creation'. What helps you to re-create joy and energy? For me, this meant getting back into photography—a hobby I'd neglected amongst the stresses of the previous few years.
3. Find Renewal: There is a spiritual component to a broken dream. It can rock your sense of perspective and raise questions about the meaning of your life. You can wonder why this has happened to you. (As committed believers, Merryn and I wrestled with why a 'good' God didn't answer our prayers for a child.) After some rest and recreation, you may be ready to start addressing some of these questions:
—By finding a spiritual mentor
—By expanding your perspective through good books, courses and seminars
—By journaling your feelings, attending a church service, or experimenting with a silent retreat
While in Switzerland, Merryn and I spent some time at a retreat centre working through our own questions. There are profound lessons to be learnt from suffering.
Don't miss them.
4. Try Some Reinvention: When a dream dies a little part of you does too, as you can't become the person you've wanted to become. A certain degree of reinvention is needed. Try asking yourself:
—Who am I deep down? (Think about your personality and key relationships.)
—What new role or identity could I explore?
—What other dreams could I pursue?
—Can lessons from my own suffering be recycled to help others?
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