Why Did You Doubt?

Imagine with me a conversation between Peter and his brother Andrew the evening after Peter walked on water (see Matthew 14:22-33)…

“Can you believe the nerve of Jesus out there today?” Peter was fuming, venting everything to his brother Andrew. “The lake was incredibly choppy. The wind was severe. We had been rowing at His command all night long. I ask Him for help when I began to sink and He asks me why I would doubt! Who wouldn’t doubt in a moment like that? I mean, do you know of anyone else who has ever walked on water! I am so sick of His demands and Him ridiculing me in front of the guys. I don’t know, brother. I think I am ready to move on from Him.” Andrew, knowing how his brother can be, waited for a moment. After the silence was too much he gently spoke, “I get it Simo. . .I mean Peter. I would have done the same exact thing. Actually, I wouldn’t have. I don’t have the same gusto spirit you have to get out there in the first place! I was too scared to even move, much less get out on the water.” Peter glanced off into the distance as if to agree. Andrew continued, “But think about it. When have you known Jesus to be mean or ugly or unfair? When have you ever seen Jesus ask any of us to do anything that wasn’t for our own good? When has Jesus ever not been intentional with us to make us better men?” Before Peter could start back into a fiery defense, Andrew added, “What if that was the point, Simon?” Peter’s face was red. “What do you mean, ‘the point’! Do you mean the point was for Jesus to make me look foolish in front of everyone . . . again? Do you remember when He called me Satan. . . ” Andrew interrupted, “No. I don’t mean the point is you being embarrassed. I mean, the point of everything is to believe in Him. No doubting. Believing. Faith, not in ourselves and what we can do; but faith in Him and what He has come to do.”

“I don’t understand, Andrew. What are you getting at?”

“I am not sure I understand fully either, brother. But Jesus sure does make a big fuss over belief. He doesn’t get upset over little things. He doesn’t get upset over big things. He doesn’t even mind when we are surrounded by sinners who are doing unlawful things. In fact, He seems to enjoy being around them more than the church people.” Peter, growing impatient, said, “Get to the point, Andrew. I know how Jesus acts around others. I have been with Him the whole time, just like you, remember? I am mad by the way He talked to me out there today!”

“I know, I know. I think the point is this: Jesus is eager for us to believe. To believe Him. To believe on who He is, why He came, what He can do, and what He is able to still do. Perhaps He knew you would get upset, brother. Maybe He knows that we are still wanting to get approval from each other. Maybe He knows we are still working to get God to like us. Maybe He knows that we get upset over questions like this because our hearts are looking for value in other things. Maybe the whole point is that if we stop doubting and believe in who He is and in His love for us, then we won’t cower in fear or get upset when our pride is stepped on. I don’t think Jesus meant to ridicule you, Si. . .sorry, Peter. I think He is trying to set you free.”

Andrew continued, “Think about this. Jesus sent us out into the boat while He stayed behind and prayed. Jesus had just fed well over 5,000 people with virtually nothing. None of us believed, yet He made us collect the leftovers. It is no coincidence that each of us had our own basket full of fish and bread. Jesus caused the winds to howl. Jesus caused the wind to stop the moment He stepped into our boat. He caused all of it to happen, Simon. Not to embarrass, but to teach. He is committed to us having faith in Him and His power. I think the point is that He loves us way too much to allow us to keep on rowing away in our lives on our own strength. Maybe He intentionally puts way too much on us to teach us that it’s not up to us. Maybe the work He calls us to is to believe that He is.”

“I don’t know Andrew. . . I just don’t know. I mean, I don’t know how much more I can take. I have never been challenged like this before. I have never been forced to be stretched to this capacity.”

“I know. I feel the same way sometimes. But just think. You walked on water. And when you sank, even though you doubted, He still grabbed you immediately. He could have let you sink more. He could have let you begin to drown. He could have let you drown and then raised you from the dead. But He didn’t. He grabbed and you pulled you up AFTER you walked on water, Simon. Yes, this is hard. But think of how freeing it is becoming. It’s Jesus who does the work. And, brother, I think He wants it. I really think He just wants us to rest in Him.”

What is it Jesus has allowed in your life that is causing you to sink? What is it that you are crying out for right now? He may allow the miracle (walking on water). He may allow circumstances to worsen (wind, fear, Peter sinking). Like Peter, He may allow both. But you can be sure of this one thing: He wants you to believe Him. He wants you to trust Him. He wants you to have faith that He loves you, is near, and is sufficient. He wants you to rest. . . In Him.