Only twelve shopping days until Martin Luther King, Jr., day

That’s right kids, so better get that old moldy tree from whatever holiday that was out of the way so we can turn our attention to America’s only true Holy Day of Obligation.  Where a godman is worshipped and venerated.  Not that silly old fable that everyone knows is a lie.  And thank goodness we don’t have to worry about the evils of America like we do at that unfortunately named Thanksgiving day, or those other patriotic anachronisms now best suited for barbecues and furniture sales.  Nope, this time we’re not just celebrating old dead men, but a god among insects.  A day in which the true spirit of the day is called upon, the true meaning of the day is agreed upon, where our nation, our government, our society joins together as one and agrees upon the true meaning of Kingmass.  Yep, thank goodness we’re not like we used to be, back in the 70s when progressives laughed at silly old holidays that lifted people up as if they were some type of divine figure.  All the type of thing silly, unsophisticated cultures do.  Nope, this time we have it right, and the proper worship, veneration, celebration, and trappings are unanimously agreed upon – or else. 

So get your Kingtrees ready, roll out the holly, devote your lives to the True (TM) cause,  and let the true meaning of a holiday will be celebrated in the most pure, holy, and sacred manner in which it always has, or always ever will be.