September is World Alzheimer’s Month and September 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day. According to alz.org, fifty-five million people worldwide live with Alzheimer’s and other dimentia. This affects the quality of life for both the person affected and their loved ones. Personally, I have experienced Alzheimer’s when first my grandfather had it and then more directly when my mother-in-law suffered from it.
It was disheartening to see my grandfather want to drive as he often did, but since he now got lost and couldn’t remember anything, that freedom was taken away from him. He then became mean towards my grandmother who stayed devoted by his side, caring for him. My mother-in-law lived with us as Alzheimer’s took hold of her. She would forget her husband died and couldn’t understand where he was. We had to tell her and she relived the news of his death for the first time, over and over again. She couldn’t care for herself, so we cared for her until we physically couldn’t any more. We had to move her into a care facility. She acted out against my husband (her son) by ripping all of our pictures of her wall, leaving only his brother’s and his family’s pictures. It was extremely hurtful and hard for my husband.
The Dignity of Every Life
Alzheimer’s may take over a person’s mind and sometimes even change who they are, but they still deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Genesis 1:27 tells us, “God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them;male and female he created them.” (usccb.org) They deserve to have whatever joy they can through these difficult times. Often, they will forget to eat and often wander about, lost. They will also forget how to take care of themselves. They need to be taken care of with love much like a baby or young child. Even though we may see an adult, they are no longer truly one. They need love and respect to keep their dignity in their life. Psalm 71:9 reminds us of our calling to care, “Do not cast me aside in my old age; as my strength fails, do not forsake me.”
God’s Presence in Alzheimer’s and Memory Loss
God never forgets us. It doesn’t matter what we have done, who we have become or what afflictions we may have. Isaiah 46:4) reads, “Even to your old age I am he, even when your hair is gray I will carry you; I have done this, and I will lift you up, I will carry you to safety.” (usccb.org) Pray with your loved one and encourage them to pray if they are able. God can help to provide strength for both the caregiver and the person suffering from Alzheimer’s or memory loss. When they can no longer pray for themselves, spend time reading scripture to them. God’s Word provides comfort and strength. Pray out loud for them. Hold their hands. Let them feel God’s love through you.
Hope for Caregivers
Being a caregiver for someone you love who has Alzheimer’s can be very difficult. It can be a strain on your strength as well as your faith. The relationship between the two of you can suffer, if you allow it. Here are some suggestions for caregivers;
- Maintain strength through prayer. Reflect on Philippians 4:6-7, “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (usccb.org)
- Gain support through community. Join a support group for caregivers. It can be both helpful and reassuring to share experiences with other people. Knowing you are not alone provides some comfort. Plus, you may learn (or give) some new ideas on how to handle specific situations.
- Take rest and practice self-care as stewardship. The concept of stewardship is that God is the ultimate owner of everything. We are entrusted to manage and use His gifts responsibly for His purposes. That means being a good steward of the gift of you.
Offer up your caregiving to God as a sacrifice. Invite Him to journey with you, to be with you.
Faith in Suffering
The cross is a reminder of our shared suffering with Christ. We are called as Christians to live life with Jesus as Jesus lived, This includes suffering. Romans 8:17 reads, “…if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.” This reminds us that God is with us when we suffer and that our suffering is an offering to him. Embrace the suffering through your faith and allow your faith to grow deeper, even as Alzheimer’s worsens.
Encouragement for Families
Alzheimer’s can be very difficult for the families of the afflicted. Take solace in knowing that love continues even when memory fades. Your loved one may not be able to recognize you and they may even lash out at you, but know the love they have for you lies in their heart and in their memories of you.
When you spend time with your loved one, reminisce with them about the past. Talk about memories with detail and love. Keep in mind that the older memories are easiest fo them to recall. You can share the newer memories as stories that will delight them.
Practical Suggestions for Family Members
When visiting or caring for your loved one with Alzheimer’s, keep expectations low. This way you can enjoy the precious moments you have instead of worrying about the outcome. You want to make sure that your loved one feels safe and secure, enjoying the time spent with you. You can read from the bible, play some favorite music, pray with them using familiar prayers and maybe share an easy game they are able to play.
When you are not not visiting, educate and support yourself. Learn about Alzheimer’s and the progression it takes. Find a support group to help you though this difficult time. Consider donating to an Alzheimer’s organization in the name of your loved one. A great resource is the Alzheimer’s Association. Check it out.
A Prayer for Families and Caregivers
Let’s pray together for strength, hope, and peace for families and caregivers of people suffering with Alzheimer’s.
Compassionate Father, we pray for all those living with Alzheimer’s and for the caregivers who serve them with love and patience. Remind us that though minds may fade, Your love and memory of us never fail. Grant peace, endurance, and hope to families, and let Your presence be a source of strength in every moment. Amen.
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