Living As An Introvert in a Big, Loud World

Living As An Introvert in a Big, Loud World

According to the Meyers-Briggs Personality Inventory, I am an extreme introvert. This did not come as a surprise to me. I have always been what one might call shy. At the age of 68, I am still learning to live as an introvert in a big, loud world.

Living as an Introvert

The first indications of my introvert status came when I was a child. I lived in a small town and everyone walked everywhere. One day when I was walking downtown to run an errand for my grandmother, I saw our pastor, with whom I was well-acquainted, coming down the street in my direction. I was seized by nervousness, looked down at the ground, and crossed the street hoping he didn’t see me because I was in terror of having to say “hello.”

By the 8th grade, I would sooner take an F than answer a question out loud in class, even if I knew the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.

In high school, there were a few close friends in my life, but those were people with whom I grew up. In a group of students who were mildly familiar, I would say nothing. I tried to keep a book with me all the time, so if I got into a group by accident, I could pretend to be reading. Once or twice, I did venture to open my mouth to offer a comment, and I felt the blush move hotly up my face and I perceived the foolishness of my words (maybe they weren’t really foolish, but that was my perception). Most of the time, I just smiled.

The only place I really felt at home was in my church youth group. That went on through my high school years, as well. 

In college, I found out that drinking and substance abuse lifted me (dangerously) out of my shyness, but only until it was out of my system. That led to a pretty bad lifestyle with some potential consequences that I will leave to your imagination. It may be a blog for another day, and you get the picture. 

As a young adult, I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. It told me I was an INFJ: “The Counselor”: “INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.” I liked that, and I really found it accurate, even in the expanded version.

God Can Use An Introvert!

Because I hated to talk, it was a total miracle of God that I entered a classroom to teach. There was a kindergarten class in rural Georgia that desperately needed a teacher. I desperately needed a job. So when the assistant superintendent with whom I attended church asked me if I would be interested, I decided to give it a try (and no, I did not have a teaching certificate, but it was the 70s in rural Georgia). That job was the vehicle God used to put me right where He wanted me–in front of a group.

I found out that I loved interacting with those children, and even the other faculty members. Kindergarten became my home for the next 20 years, but when the opportunity came up for me to go back to school and follow my passion, I opted to get a secondary education/language arts degree and then a masters in English.

He always knew the plans He had for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11, paraphrased).

Let me just say, the introversion did not go away. I am created the way God chose, and He showed me that I really could  talk about the things I knew, and the best thing I knew was Him. I began teaching English to junior high and  high school students in a Christian school, and I began teaching Sunday school, as well. Then He started opening doors for seminars and conferences. People actually wanted to hear what I had to say! So I talked … for Him.

A very wise colleague once told me that if you go more than 60 miles from home and carry a briefcase, everyone will think you know what you’re talking about. Humorous, but kind of true. I carried my briefcase and my Bible.

Today, I speak in classrooms on a daily basis. On occasions, I have spoken to groups of hundreds of people. A couple weeks ago, I gave an impromptu speech to nearly 200 people about the mystery of salvation through Jesus Chriist when the speaker was called away on an emergency. As Paul told Timothy, “preach the word; be instant in season and out of season (II Timothy 4:2). That means one must be ready at all times, even if it is an unexpected, inconvenient, or awkward moment. The mind must be prepared, and the heart must be willing and obedient. That right there is the key to living as an introvert in a big, loud world. 

Jesus Might Have Been an Introvert, Too

Jesus gave the example in this, as well as so many other situations. As Pastor Bill Gaultiere says, “The priority of Jesus’ solitude and silence is everywhere in the Gospels. It’s how he began his ministry. It’s how he made important decisions. It’s how he dealt with troubling emotions like grief. It’s how he dealt with the constant demands of his ministry and cared for his soul. It’s how he prepared for his death on the cross.” 

In his article “Nine Times Jesus Retreated to Be Alone With God,” Jacob Hess gives the following evidence:

1. Preparatory desert retreat. “At once the Spirit sent [Jesus] out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.” (Mark 1:12)
2. After an exhausting day of ministry to the sick. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35) [Everyone was looking for Jesus, but after his time in prayer he told his disciples that it was time for them to move on to another village.]
3. A place of frequent retreat amidst the busy crowds seeking him. “[Despite Jesus’ plea that his miracles be kept secret] the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16; see also Mark 1:45)
4. Preparatory for more healing and the sermon on the mount. “Jesus went out to a mountain side to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him.” (Luke 6:12-13. See also Mark 3:13)
5. After hearing that John the Baptist had been beheaded. “When Jesus heard, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” (Matthew 14:13)
6. After the Twelve returned, and before he fed the 5000. “Because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to [his disciples], ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’ So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.” (Mark 6:31-32)
7. After he fed the 5000, and before Peter walked to him on the water. “After [Jesus] had dismissed [the crowds], he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was [still] there alone.” (Matthew 14:23; see also Mark 6:46)
8. After healing many, and before feeding the 4000. “Jesus went on from there and walked beside the Sea of Galilee. And he went up on the mountain and sat down there.” (Matthew 15:29)
9. Initiating the agonizing ending. “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’” (Mark 14:32)

The Secret to Living as an Introvert in a Big, Loud World

Living and surviving as an introvert in a big, loud world is just like living and surviving as a Christian in a big loud world. One must make the time to be alone with God, to intentionally place ourselves into the Hands of the Potter so He can make us useful for the increase of His kingdom. To be right in the center of what He is doing is the very best (and most fun!) place to be.

I had to learn that my life is not about me. It’s about what God wants to do with me and through me that matters. He doesn’t give directions that don’t work. We may not see the outcome, but that’s OK. He has it all under control. My purpose isn’t to figure it out; my purpose is to be obedient.

Most days after I finish a full teaching schedule, I head home exhausted. It’s what happens to introverts. We need alone time to recharge, and some of that alone time needs to be spent talking to God, to Abba, and listening for His response, or even just resting in His Presence. 

I wake up each morning excited for a new day!  Let me just testify here–this particular introvert in a big, loud world wouldn’t have life any other way.

Introvert or extrovert, “God bless us every one!”