Sometimes….

SOMETIMES….

Sometimes, you just let the ones you care about, are compassionate about—sometimes you let them have the warm spot.

You hang on to your fourteen and a half inches as long as you can, shoving your legs back under the covers and the body on top of them after you make the mistake of getting up and going to the bathroom, only to come back and find out your beach has been landed on.

     You climb….

We climb back in and try to wrestle the covers you had mistakenly folded back when you got out and now lay under one or both of those you care about. They aren’t moving. Actually, they are snoring, those you care about.

Apparently, they both have deviated a septum. So, you start with the remaining eight inches of the edge of the bed and shove and pull and tug your way enough you can get your entire butt on the mattress. You try to make your feet and legs flat to fit under their bodies, still with no movement on their part.

This—all because you are a compassionate bastard and want them to be warm and comfortable.

Finally, after bed isometrics with sheets and covers, you carve out your beachhead. Half your body is uncovered, exposed to winter, while the other half roasts, pressed against an animal with a 101 degree normal body temperature. Sleep never comes, you are now awake for the day.

     You surrender….

You surrender to checking your email, Christmas shop, trying to decide if you can sort your colored clothes from the whites for a predawn laundry, resting your arm on an animal’s head the size of a basketball and who has decided they needed your chest for a pillow. We figure you needed their head for an arm rest and the other longshoreman snoring animal to keep your feet warm.

Seems like a good exchange.

‘Mark, what are you telling me? I’m on this website to find some enlightenment about God, Jesus, salvation, love. I don’t have time to read your ramblings about warm spots. That almost sounds bad, talking about warm spots in your bed. I am assuming you are talking about your bed.’

     Imagine….

Imagine for a moment, you want to be so close to someone, even if its another species—something no one can describe, you want to get as close as you can to them. You don’t understand really how big or wonderful they are, only knowing they are kind and good and you want to be near them-you actually find yourself wanting to be like them.  You want to lay your head on their chest and in seconds, you are so warm and comfortable, you fall asleep near them. They are safe and warm and care about. You feel it-experienced it and it leaves you wanting more of it. You clumsily come to that feeling and snuggle up to it.

I want to be like my dogs towards God. I want to be close. If I could crawl inside His skin, I want to be that close. Instead, He lives in me. I want to lay my head on His chest and snore. I want to feel His arm laying across my body and Him holding me. He doesn’t care if I snore. God doesn’t care if I’m clumsy, or vain or cynical. He only cares we have a relationship together.

     He….

The God of the Universe wants to be in a relationship with me. Sometimes, in my mess I don’t think that is possible. It is always possible. All that other stuff, my luggage I have carried, and the sins I suppress and hide—I can’t hide from Him. He knew about them before the world began. They will only be dealt with in relationship. He already paid for them. I am clean and white as snow, but I forget. I am the son of God. Jesus is my brother. We are a family.

     …believe….

There, believe in that.

http://www.markjwilliams.com/

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