Kindness isn’t a common theme in modern preaching. It’s not a virtue we hear much of anywhere, at that fact. On occasion, we might see mention of kindness on a social media meme, but that’s about it. In our world that drives us to outdo everyone else, thrive in front of haters, and excel overall, kindness doesn’t quite fit. Regardless, it is something the world needs more of – so much so, it’s acknowledged on November 13 through World Kindness Day. While we might talk on its importance to children or recognize its importance, most of us aren’t sure how it fits into our lives. What is kindness, and why does it matter?
What is kindness?
But the fruit of the Spirit is…kindness… (Galatians 5:22, NIV)
The Greek word for kindness is chresotes (Strong’s #5544). It literally means, “moral goodness, integrity; benignity, kindness.” This might sound simple enough, but kindness embodies deep, abiding spiritual principles within its definition. It’s not the mere action of being pleasant and nice to other people. Being kind is about living uprightly, without hypocrisy, or ill will. It offers us a balance between the militancy of spiritual warfare and the separation of the believer from the world. Both of these principles are found in Scripture, but they are easily taught in out-of-context methods representing extremes. If we only consider these principles by themselves, Scripture would have us exclude others, live in hostility, and see the world as a threatening place. In contrast, we are called to be different, but not to be exclusive. Instead of excluding others, God calls us to extend a sincere sense of good to all of them.
God’s example of lovingkindness
As part of the fruit of the Spirit, we know kindness is an essential part of the Christian witness. Before we ever approach the New Testament, we find an important aspect of kindness: that of lovingkindness. The Hebrew word for it is chesed (Strong’s #H2617). It means “goodness, kindness, and faithfulness.” In its proper understanding, chesed starts with a spiritual prompt, sometimes described as a feeling. When one experiences chesed, they are so full of love that it must find an expression. Its manifestation is kindness toward others.
Scripture tells us that God experiences chesed toward us. As He first loved us, so we first love others. Most of us embrace this idea, but we trip up when it comes to what that love looks like. Simply put, the love of God should stir us to do something good for other people. Our love shouldn’t just be a nice phrase we say to end conversations, but something in which God delights! We love others because God has placed that desire within us.
What we do
God knew when He commissioned the church to preach the Gospel that there would be challenges to come with it. Perhaps the greatest challenge we face in Gospel proclamation is not unrepentant sinners, but egotistical Christians. He knew that balances were needed in the Christian life. This is why there isn’t just one analysis of the Christian life found in Scripture. While some try to combine everything into a universal set of over-arching principles, there are different things we all need to find God at the center of all we do.
For example, not every Christian has a problem with greed (although many do). Not every Christian finds honesty challenging. There are many Christians who are faithful in their marriages. These three examples indicate that while the principles are there, these Christians have other things to develop in their spiritual walk. The one thing we can all work on? Kindness. Why? Because kindness is what we do.
Ruth’s kindness
Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband. (Ruth 1:3-5, NIV)
When I wrote my book, Call Me Bitter: Devotions for the Hurting, I took special notice of Ruth’s posture in her mother-in-law’s life. While most of us would laud Ruth’s kindness to her mother-in-law, I don’t think we consider how much that kindness required from her. Naomi experienced the loss of her husband and two sons. Now, she was leaving the home she’d known for many years. Faced with no prospects and no future, Naomi probably wasn’t a lot of fun to be around. To walk in kindness, Ruth had to work in hard labor and put aside some of her own process to care for the two of them. We love that she was blessed in the end, but we don’t consider that kindness cost her something.
Kindness, too, costs us something. It’s not something that’s easy, but something we know we must do. Instead of judging situations, looking down on people, or calling it impossible, kindness is there to offer hope; not just to those who receive, but those who give it, as well.
Things that kill kindness
Without belaboring the “why” of this list, it’s important to remember the balance we spoke of earlier. The Christian life isn’t a measuring contest between you and someone else (whether that person is a believer or not). It’s easy to look at other people and see everything they do wrong. It’s a lot harder to look at ourselves and see where we just don’t measure up.
That being said, these things will kill kindness:
- Condescending attitudes
- Passive-aggressive behavior
- Laziness
- Bitterness
How do we live it?
As was said earlier, kindness isn’t making “nicey-nice.” How can we show others this love that prompts us to do something? Here are some suggestions
Make a point to be inclusive rather than exclusive
Not everyone who comes to/is interested in church is going to “look” the part we often associate with church. We’ve spoken on this issue for many years, but often do so to no avail. If we are to be kind, we break through these walls and make sure the doors of the church are open to anyone who wants to attend.
Do some specific acts of kindness
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying a stranger a cup of coffee or doing something else random to make someone’s day. However, I think it’s more advantageous to do something unexpected for someone you know. Listening goes a long way to figuring out what’s needed in any situation.
Practice hospitality
Hospitality was a huge deal in the ancient world. Societies were judged by how welcoming they were to outsiders. Even if cooking and serving tea aren’t really your thing, look for ways to help other people feel more comfortable when they are around you. Talk to the new person at church and invite them out for coffee, have some people over for dinner, take your pastor or church leader out for lunch, and so on. There are many ways you can practice hospitality in this world!
Avoid online arguments
As tempting as it is to criticize someone’s politics or beliefs, maybe just let things pass for right now. As life-altering as this one issue might feel, it will pass within a few days on social media…so let it. Don’t risk friendships over temporary issues.
Keep it real
It might not seem like a way to do it, but kindness keeps our faith real. Kindness is about meeting real needs, in real time, in a way that exudes true service. It recognizes that the issues, matters, and ideas that divide us can easily change. Nobody will remember the stellar arguments we made on a Facebook post in 2014, but everyone will remember the way we showed them that they matter through kind living. Instead of just telling people they matter as a gesture, show them through kindness. That will leave an impression they won’t be sure to forget.
For more on kindness check out my book, Fruit of the Vine: Study and Commentary on the Fruit of the Spirit, available in paperback and ebook!
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