Exploring the Concept of a Spiritual Parent

Spiritual parents” are all the rave in some Christian circles. Used to define everything from a spiritual leader, to a mentor, to someone influential in life, “spiritual parent” is applied in different ways. What are spiritual parents, and how are they distinguished from other forms of spiritual leadership? For understanding and clarity, we will explore what a spiritual parent and personal spiritual leader (sometimes called a “covering”) are – and their differences.

Spiritual leadership

A spiritual leader is someone who, simply put, has authority in the Kingdom of God (church) to lead other people. We understand this in a primary sense to refer to the Ephesians 4:11 ministry of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers. In a different form, the appointments of bishop, elder, and deacon also serve leadership capacities.

As we recognize spiritual leadership, we also recognize each of these works has its unique operation of spiritual leadership. Not every ministry work or leadership role relates to one of spiritual parentage in the sense it is frequently used, because not every ministry of the church is one that serves for such. While someone may have a spiritual leader, that doesn’t mean one is their spiritual parent.

For example: Someone might be part of a church, faithful in membership and spiritual relationship. They are not a new believer and this is not their first church. Their spiritual leader, therefore, isn’t a spiritual parent to them, but their personal spiritual leader, sometimes called their “covering.”

The concept of covering

We don’t use the term “covering” as much to describe a spiritual leader, for a few reasons. The first is that it’s not directly a Biblical term. The second, some who used it abused it, thus causing people to look upon the term negatively. In its definition, covering describes the type of relationship a spiritual leader has with the one they lead. In a sense, they cover them – they protect and lead them in the sense of offering spiritual shelter. A spiritual leader should always protect their congregations from the enemy’s wares, inasmuch as they are able to do so. Leaders are commanded to love the people they lead, thus connecting the idea of love “covering many sins” (1 Peter 4:8) as found in Scripture, aptly applied to leaders.

In the simplest language possible, a covering spiritually protects, guides, leads, and instructs another person. They are available for counseling, instruction, and guidance in a way that someone else in church leadership may not. Not all offices of ministry cover, or spiritually lead in this same sense. Apostles, prophets, and pastors serve as “covering offices: because their work directly relates to different people groups who are part of the Kingdom of God. Evangelists and teachers, while leadership positions, don’t work with people in quite the same way as the others. Bishops, elders, and deacons exist to help apostles and pastors in their work. They also cover others, but not in quite the same way.

Accountability

Spiritual leadership – especially covering – also relates to accountability, or one to whom an individual is spiritually accountable. It is usually a founding point where such accountability starts, in an effort to help develop the principle of accountability and responsibility in an individual. It’s a misnomer to think someone is only accountable to a spiritual leader. In Scripture, we are called to be accountable to one another. Thus, we learn about the essence of being accountable for ourselves, first from our leaders, and second, from belonging to the Body of Christ.

A misunderstood term

Many use the term “spiritual father” or “spiritual mother” to refer to someone who is their personal leader (spiritual covering). They use the term due to the relationship they have with their covering – one much like a parent, based in guidance and direction. They see themselves as accountable to that person, and refer to them by parental terms out of a sense of affection.

This is not how the term is understood in Scripture. In 1 Corinthians 4:15, the Apostle Paul states:

For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. (KJV)

Paul clarified that while there would be many people in the church who would be able to teach, there would be few “spiritual parents.” If this is the case, are people using it today incorrectly?

Founders in the faith

The answer to that question is both yes and no – some are using it properly while others use it incorrectly. The Greek indicates the Apostle Paul was using the term “fathers”to indicate “originators” of the faith. Recognizing such, this can be used to refer to a few things:

• The literal foundation of our faith, which is that of the apostles and prophets, both past and present
• The foundation of something significant in one’s own personal faith, such as coming to Christ, preparing you for baptism, or instructing you in your ministry
  calling, such as training for an Ephesians 4:11 ministry
• The “founder” or “originator” of a denomination, church, ministry, or movement
• Someone who “births” or brings something forth in us; someone who has trained us for ministry and now our ministry work reflects their instruction and efforts

The mere fact that Paul indicated there is a difference between spiritual “originators” and teachers in the faith – there would be many teachers, but few fathers – means there is a difference between liking a teacher, following a ministry, attending a church and following the leadership of a pastor there, or being inspired by someone who teaches Scripture well and someone who is a true teacher or founder of something in your faith.

Consider our relationships

It’s obvious that not every leader we have will be a spiritual parent to us. We should all examine the relationships we have with those we consider to be our leaders. Someone can cover us without being our “spiritual parent.” Someone can be a teacher to us, and therefore a leader, without recognizing them as a “covering” or “spiritual parent.” A spiritual parent should be all of the above, with one or more of the four additional definitions found above.

The gift of a spiritual parent

In my ministry – both local and international – I am recognized as a spiritual parent. Some of our members call me “mom,” while others don’t. I am all right with both. My relationship and leadership is a little different for each person, and acknowledging those differences is all right by me. It doesn’t take anything away from my call to be referred to in different ways by different people.

It’s an awesome thing to be a spiritual parent, as it’s done properly and within God’s order. We should also respect the differences in gifts prevalent and purposed in the church, all for our edification and growth. Not every leader is a spiritual parent, nor is every leader a covering for someone else. There are different types of gifts and leadership for different purposes in the body. It is vitally important we open up our minds, concepts, and our thoughts about leadership to make sure we are utilizing the full bounty of gifts God has given to us through His profound grace of spiritual leadership. The gifts of God are from the same Spirit, but are different, for our edification.

Recognizing different gifts means everyone’s spiritual needs will be met, and different ways of reaching out will be respected, empowered, and, yes, the blessing they are intended to be for the Body. Let’s celebrate the gift our spiritual parents are to us and to all in church, knowing God is working through them.