Grace in Times of Stress
As the world continues to spin and geopolitics continue to make no sense, I see a lot of stress in my clients and the people around me. These times and the stressors many are going through require more than resilience. We need more than MacGuffins to get us through. What we need is a certain amount of Grace- a calm and composed demeanor that can weather the storm. Finding this grace often means looking inward and embracing practices that soothe the mind and spirit. Whether through meditation, mindfulness, or the simple act of taking a deep breath, these moments of stillness can be transformative. By prioritizing our mental well-being, we can better manage the chaos that surrounds us and find a sense of peace amidst the uncertainty. This brings to mind the stoic ideals of dealing with stress, as well as the ways in which great thinkers like Albert Camus confronted the Absurd.
Stoic ideals of Dealing with Stress
The Stoics had a lot to say about dealing with stressful situations. Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is a great manual. Seneca was known for saying a few things as well. While we have major misconceptions about what Stoicism is, much of what we see portrayed as Stoicism in the West is really “Broisicm” and is as much Stoic as MAGA Christianity is historic Christianity. The Stoics teach us to manage stress by focusing on what we can control, living in the present moment, and viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. They emphasize the importance of self-reflection and acceptance to reduce anxiety and improve resilience.
By embracing the wisdom of the Stoics, we can cultivate a mindset that allows us to remain graceful under pressure. Stoicism is a philosophy of encouragement, not entitlement. It teaches us to see adversity not as a deterrent but as a means of growth, shaping our character and fortifying our spirit. We can draw strength from their teachings, finding solace in the fact that even the grandest challenges are surmountable with the right perspective. Let us reflect on six ways we can use Stoicism to help us during these troubling times.
Dichotomy of Control:
This is the cornerstone of Stoic philosophy. Stoics emphasize distinguishing between what we can control (our thoughts, judgments, and actions) and what we cannot (external events, other people’s opinions, etc.).
Stress often arises from trying to control things outside our sphere of influence. Stoics teach us to focus our energy on what we can manage. This often is a central theme for many of my clients. This teaching is crucial for them to heal from their traumas and reconcile with that which they could not control coming up.
Focus on the Present Moment:
Stoics advocate for living in the present. Worrying about the future or dwelling on the past only adds to stress.
By focusing on the “now,” we can reduce anxiety and concentrate on taking appropriate action in the current situation.
Acceptance of What Is:
Stoics believe in accepting the reality of situations, even when they are unpleasant. This doesn’t mean passively resigning oneself, but rather acknowledging the facts and responding rationally.
Resisting reality only creates more stress. In the military, we learned about the OODA loop. It is a way to orient one to the problems or challenges at hand. It was designed for fighter pilots in the 1990s to “underscore the continuous nature of decision-making in dynamic, competitive environments.” Reality sometimes is our biggest competitor.
View Obstacles as Opportunities:
Stoics see challenges as opportunities for growth and practice of virtue.
Instead of viewing stress as a negative, they reframe it as a chance to exercise resilience, courage, and wisdom. I pray with my kids each morning to see each obstacle as an opportunity to grow.
Practice of Negative Visualization:
This involves mentally rehearsing potential setbacks or difficulties. By anticipating challenges, we can lessen their emotional impact when they occur. Here, I am reminded of a more modern military action plan known as a PACE plan. Here we learn to consider our primary plan, our alternative plan, our contingency plans, and our emergency plans. Listening to high-level operators talk about how this works demonstrates one of the many ways they can stay calm under pressure, they have thought everything out before implementing the mission. I will often use this visualization in sessions with clients.
Emphasis on Virtue:
Stoics believe that true happiness comes from living a virtuous life, guided by wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance.
Journaling and Self-Reflection:
Stoics, like Marcus Aurelius, practiced journaling to reflect on their thoughts and actions. This practice helps to identify patterns of stress and develop strategies for coping. Journalling is a powerful tool in my therapist toolbox to get clients to reflect on their thoughts and look for potential negative patterns of thought leading to anxious or depressed states.
Albert Camus and His Confrontation of the Absurd
I stumbled across Albert Camus a few years ago, doing research for the philosophy class I teach. Mostly known as a French –Algerian author, journalist and playwright, he became particularly well known for his philosophical exploration of “the absurd” a philosophical concept that grapples with the human search for meaning in a meaningless universe.
Camus would define absurd as the fundamentalist conflict between humanity’s innate desire for meaning, clarity, and purpose, and the universe’s inherent indifference to those desires. Camus believes it is the struggle between our longing for reason and world’s irrationality that leads to despair.
His response to this is rebellion, freedom and passion.
Rebellion (Révolte):
Camus advocated for rebellion against the absurd through affirming life, not with violence but by refusing despair or resignation. It’s about living authentically without imposed meaning.
Freedom (Liberté):
Camus emphasized individual freedom in the absence of inherent meaning, urging us to create our own purpose and live on our terms.
Passion (Passion):
Camus urged embracing life passionately, valuing the present moment and finding meaning in living itself.
This passion is not a blind optimism, but a determined embrace of the experience of life.
It would be in his book, The Myth of Sisyphus as where Camus uses Sisyphus as a metaphor for the absurdity of the human condition. It is Sisyphus’s awareness of his fate that allows him to find a kind of triumph in his rebellion. When we find meaning in struggle (Not the God has a plan for you kind of meaning), we like Sisyphus find a form of victory. I find a lot of guidance in Camus’ work.
Grace as a Spiritual Practice
In a previous post, I offered that I am choosing grace to deal with the absurdity of the events both here in the United States and globally. As a person trained in humanistic psychology, functional behavioral analysis, theology and philosophy, I have a pretty strong grasp on why things are the way they are. However, in grace, I choose to lean into the nonself and maintain the attitude with my clients, I cannot cling to their suffering, only address my own and be mindful of how it is impacting my perception of the problems or obstacles at hand.
Grace enhances our ability to surrender and adapt to changes moment by moment. Like Camus’ idea of absurdity, grace challenges our belief in control and our expectation of rewards based on actions. Grace teaches us to let go and accept that we are not in charge, but open to receiving the sacred.
Receptivity means letting go of shame—feelings of unworthiness or mistakes. Grace ignores this negativity; it happens without conditions or scorecards.
Compassion as a vehicle for Grace.
We must turn to the compassion of Jesus, the compassion of the Christ. To tie this post together, compassion must be our vehicle for grace. As a practice, compassion enhances our ability to care for ourselves, and the world around us. It balances our need for judgment and our perception of pain.
To close, consider this quote:
“Compassion begins with the acknowledgment of the single inescapable truth that is the foundation for the possibility of love between human beings — an awareness of the tragic sense of life.” — Sam Keen in To Loved and Be Loved
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