Why Youth Still Want To Believe

Reflections on Working with Youth: Challenges and Insights

Recently, my kids have displayed renewed interest in their faith. My 22-year-old, my 20-year-old and my 16-year-old have all asked for new bibles over the last few years and it is encouraging to see them express a renewed interest in their faith. As a pastor, I never pushed what they should believe and with the chaos of being in the church, I did not necessarily push them or my wife to attend the churches I served- there often was a lot of toxicity and demand on my family and it was not fair to their faith development.

Throughout my 27 years serving as both a pastor and a therapist, I have consistently worked with young people in various capacities. While I would never claim to be an expert, my experiences have granted me a substantial understanding of youth development and the complex intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical needs that young people face.

Shifts in the Past Two Decades

For the past 18 years, my primary focus has been therapy, though I have occasionally engaged with church work. Over the last 20 years, one significant trend has emerged: a marked deterioration in the sense of meaning among young people. This decline is often linked to a lack of parental engagement, which has contributed to serious mental health challenges. Additionally, widespread scandals within churches have driven many young people away from faith communities.

Continued Desire for Faith Exploration

Despite these obstacles, my clinical experience has shown that young people still have a strong desire to explore their faith. Many have expressed that they would be interested in hearing me preach, based on the conversations we have in therapy sessions. What resonates most with them is not groundbreaking doctrine, but rather the creation of space for asking difficult questions and engaging in deep exploration. This openness to “dangerous questions” and genuine inquiry is what young people truly seek in their faith journey.

A Way Forward

In considering how to move forward, it is clear that fostering environments where young people feel safe to ask hard questions and delve deeply into their beliefs is essential. This approach, rooted in authentic dialogue and exploration, aligns with what I have found young people genuinely desire as they navigate their faith.

As we reflect on these ongoing challenges and the evolving needs of young people, it becomes clear that understanding the importance of seeking and questioning is central to supporting their spiritual growth. This insight naturally leads us to consider how developmental models help illuminate the unique journey of faith during youth, setting the stage for deeper exploration of this critical aspect.

The Importance of Seeking and Questioning in Youth

Youth is a time of seeking – both Erikson and Westerhoff incorporate questioning as part of their developmental models.

Both Erikson and Westerhoff’s developmental models emphasize the role of seeking and questioning as crucial elements in youth, highlighting that this stage is not simply about receiving beliefs but actively wrestling with them. This period of spiritual exploration is essential for authentic faith formation, as young people are naturally inclined to grapple with big questions about purpose, identity, and their place in the world. By acknowledging and supporting this process, faith communities can nurture a more resilient and meaningful connection to spirituality, empowering youth to claim their beliefs as truly their own.

Questing is a spiritual practice that all humans must go through to fully develop into functional adults. When we take risk and ask questions, seek new ideas, new experiences, we grow and are “transformed by the renewing of our minds” rather than conforming to the ways of the world, including how our church systems tell us we should act or believe.

Across generations, young people encounter numerous challenges, and addressing matters of faith and the inevitable questions that arise may become particularly complex when church institutions promote rigid doctrines without accommodating inquiry or discussion.

Challenges Faced by Young People in Faith Communities

I have found that young people have been burned by the church’s hypocrisy and double standards, not keeping up with the times. Many of the young people I talk to and when I say young, I am talking teen to elder millennial all talk about how the church is hypocritical. As a pastor, I take this personally and feel that our churches need to do something about that. The church in a lot of ways has existed for itself, it has become a club for those on the inside. It does ministry for the people of the community, not with the community. Missiology has become a MacGuffin for a lot of churches. It has become an ego driven, judgmental, conservative place where young people specifically feel that the inhabitants of these churches are unconcerned for their futures. I find that young people are very concerned about the world around them and this is fed by the constant feed of bad news in their pockets.

To foster better relationships with young people, pastors and faith communities should focus on creating authentic environments where questions and doubts are welcomed, encouraging genuine discussions about faith. Additionally, emphasizing mentorship and discipleship can help young individuals develop a personal connection to their beliefs, moving beyond inherited faith.

Strategies to Foster Relationships with Young People

This discussion aims to encourage open communication and suggest approaches that churches may consider to strengthen relationships with youth. It has been observed that contemporary young people, similar to previous generations such as Generation X, respond poorly to directives and are particularly sensitive to perceived hypocrisy—a sentiment common across age groups. Demonstrating authenticity and sincerity remains fundamental to establishing meaningful connections with teenagers.

Moreover, as faith communities strive to adapt and remain relevant in the lives of young people, it becomes essential to foster an atmosphere where vulnerabilities are met with compassion and curiosity rather than judgment. By modeling humility and a willingness to listen, leaders can bridge generational divides and inspire genuine spiritual growth. When churches demonstrate a commitment to evolving alongside their youth—embracing innovation, recognizing the unique challenges of today’s world, and prioritizing relationships over rigid tradition—they lay the groundwork for a vibrant, supportive community where every young person feels seen, heard, and valued on their journey of faith.

Create a Safe Place

Promote Authenticity: Encourage church leaders and members to be genuine in their faith and actions. Transparency about struggles can build trust.

Open Dialogue: Create safe spaces for young people to express their doubts and concerns. This can help bridge the gap between generations.

Enhancing Engagement

Relevant Programming: Develop programs that resonate with young people’s interests and challenges. This includes discussions on contemporary issues and faith.

Mentorship Opportunities: Pair young people with mentors who can guide them in their faith journey. This personal connection can foster deeper relationships.

Building Community

Social Events: Organize social gatherings that are not solely focused on worship. This can help young people feel more connected to the church community.

Service Projects: Involve young people in community service. This not only helps others but also allows them to see the church’s impact in action.

Emphasizing Meaning

Faith Education: Offer classes that explore the relevance of faith in today’s world. Help young people make their faith personal and meaningful.

Incorporate Technology: Use social media and online platforms to engage with young people where they are. Share messages of hope and community through these channels.

Encouraging Participation

Youth Leadership Roles: Involve young people in church decision-making processes. This empowers them and gives them a sense of ownership in the community.

Feedback Mechanisms: Regularly seek feedback from young attendees about church activities and services. This shows that their opinions are valued and can lead to meaningful changes.

By implementing these strategies, churches can create a more welcoming and engaging environment for young people, helping to foster lasting relationships and a deeper connection to their faith.

To Close – Love is the Key to Building Community

To close, we must start with love and acceptance. This is the key to building community and fostering lasting faith relationships. Adolescents and young adults much like younger kids still need a lot of affirmation and needs for safety. Their world is often perceived and really unsafe, both emotionally and physically. They need caring and supportive adults who can normalize their experiences without criticism and proselyting. Our goal is not simply to preserve tradition, but to cultivate spaces where young people feel empowered to explore, contribute, and ultimately flourish within a supportive network of caring adults and peers. This approach strengthens the fabric of faith communities and ensures that the next generation is equipped to carry their beliefs with confidence and purpose, grounded in love and acceptance.

I want to leave this conversation with some resources I found helpful in this exploration: