My mom passed away almost 7 years ago, at the age of 92. As another Mother’s Day approaches, I want to reflect on Mom’s influence on me, and our family – particularly in regard to our Christian faith.
Mom’s Influence: Taking Us to Church
My earliest memories revolve around church – Mishawaka First Church of the Nazarene. Neither of my parents grew up going to church. My mom started attending church with my older sisters when they went to youth group; not too long after that, Mom got saved. That meant that my brother and I, and our younger sister, started going to church. That’s really the first part of her influence: we grew up in church. That wasn’t uncommon 60 years ago; it’s much more uncommon now. I’m grateful for the fact that Mom took us to church, and gave us the opportunity to come to faith.
Mom’s influence didn’t stop with us kids, though; she also prayed for my dad. During the summer, when we were at church, he played golf. But eventually, her example and her prayers softened him, and he too came to faith. That’s another aspect of her influence: helping to make our home a Christian home.
Praying for Her Family
However, I didn’t always feel that way! When I was a teenager, I bristled at “having” to go to church every Sunday – morning and evening. (And Wednesday night, if I wasn’t working.) When I went away to college, I didn’t go to church. Sundays were for sleeping in. But eventually, my rebellion (which went well beyond not attending church) proved empty, and I found my way back to God. I have no doubt that Mom contributed to that return, by praying for me. She didn’t rail at me, didn’t try to guilt me back to church. She trusted the promise of Proverbs 22:6 – “Train children in the way they should go; when they grow old, they won’t depart from it.”
Mom’s Influence: A Love of Music
Mom loved music. She grew up in southern Tennessee; I remember a number of country songs that she used to sing around the house. But as she grew in her faith, those songs faded and new ones came along. She had no formal musical training, but she loved to sing. She sang in the choir at church, and she instilled a love of music in us. That love didn’t just stop with her children; at Mom’s memorial service, my son David commented on how Grandma was always singing about Jesus. That’s another part of Mom’s influence on us: we have a song in our heart.
Grace and Discipline
I was privileged to preach Mom’s memorial service, and I talked about another aspect of her influence on us. Mom demonstrated grace to us, and I believe that’s largely because she had experienced God’s grace. But she didn’t confuse grace with permissiveness! We had a large weeping willow tree in our backyard. I knew that if Mom went out to that tree, I was going to experience the consequences of disobedience! To me, it was a “whooping willow”; if Mom went out there, I was going to get a whooping!
I know that many people reject physical punishment as a discipline for children these days, and I get it. Not all parents are able to separate emotion from punishment; they punish out of anger. I used to laugh at the saying, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.” When I became a parent, though, I understood. Parents want what is best for their children, even when that isn’t what their children want. And that’s how it is with God, too; He wants what is best for us. He allows us to experience the consequences of our choices to teach us to choose what is right. Mom helped us to understand that by the way that she tempered discipline with grace.
Mom’s Influence: Faithfulness and Service
I could go on and on, but one other thing that Mom taught us was faithfulness and service. She taught children at church for years. I remember once when my son Allen was a preschooler, and Mom was teaching his group at Vacation Bible School. I’m not sure what he did, but I happened to walk in when she was sitting him on a table and saying, “You are JUST like your father!” I didn’t dare ask what that meant! But she loved kids, and taught children for years.
She also served on the church board, and worked as a custodian for several years. After Dad retired and they moved to Arkansas, Mom volunteered for several years at a thrift store called “Helping Hands.” She and Dad also served at their church in Arkansas for years, in whatever role was needed. My younger sister is in ministry, and I retired from pastoring at the end of December. My other siblings have all been actively involved in their churches throughout the years, because of the example our parents set for us.
I was blessed to have a mom that led her family into faith!
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