Gender Polarity: Pagan View of Sex Too Straight and Square?

Gender polarity causes as much ruckus in the Pagan community as a noisy fart in a meditation circle. It’s not just that it feels exclusionary to GLBT folk, but it can also cause friction among het folks.Here’s the nitty-gritty:

Gender polarity in Paganism is the idea that male and female energies are necessary to achieve the necessary energy for both spiritual and mundane magical acts. Think of it like electricity, where both negative and positive terminals are needed to complete a circuit. Some Pagans only consider this polarity, others believe there are many types of polarity but since everyone has a gender it’s the easiest to use.

Now, like anything involving modern Paganism, this is not “gospel”. It’s just a very popular and widely held idea. It in turn influences, and is influenced by, popular polytheology. The idea of a God and Goddess who are polar opposites is magical theory made myth. The God is often seen as a dark, strong stranger and the Goddess as a sweet, bright loving diety. Which is lovely and has it’s place, but when used as a foundation can prove problematic.

Most obviously, it tends to discount GLBT reality. If you’re a lesbian woman, your strongest synergy is likely to be with other women and hearing about a fertility cycle based on heterosexual coupling is going to make you feel alienated. Listen to Zsusanna Budapest, founder of the Dianic movement, and see if she thinks she needs male energy to bless, heal, create and conjure. Talk to Radical Faeries and they will tell you the ancient religions are full of gay Gods.

When people convert to Paganism they are often overwhelmed with an overpowering feeling of acceptance. As a woman the concept of a Goddess was initially liberating and I was enthralled with the idea of a loving Creatrix. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the concept of polarity echoed the misogyny I experienced in Christianity. As a woman I was expected to echo the sweet, bright, loving, nurturing Lady of the Moon. Though lovely, such a Goddess can also be viewed as Donna Reed deified. After years of devotion to Manannaan and Hephaistos I was still being told that women could not experience or form deep relationships with male Gods.

Practically it can cause issues for groups who feel they must be gender balanced to operate, or for transgendered or androgynous persons who blur gender lines. It seems a bit silly to think a group of all women, or a group of all men, could not function properly without a member of the opposite sex. However, if the idea of gender polarity is strongly ingrained into a Pagan’s training it may prove to be such a stumbling block that they have trouble practicing in a same-sex group. It can also place unnecessary pressure on minority members of mostly same-sex groups. No seeker wants to find they’ve been elevated to High Priest because of their chromosomes.

Not to mention the concept of gender polarity tends to suggest a solitary Pagan cannot raise significant power. While a single person cannot raise as much energy as group synergy can, they can still create powerful ritual all on their own.

I personally believe that the best way to treat polarity is as a shifting synergy. As light can behave as particles and waves depending on the observer’s expectation, so can synergy be generated from any opposites available, regardless of gender. My laptop and I create a certain type of synergy based on mechanical/organic opposites. We each supply something necessary and a blog post is created. My niece is tall and willowy and I’m short and chubby, but together we can raise up a whole mess of trouble in no time at all.

I’ve experienced synergy with men, women, dogs, trees, cars, winds and the lovely bone-white moon. I invoke “thou strong Goddess, thou gentle God” as often as the opposite. I embody the light and the dark, severity and mercy, strength and compassion, within myself. While I don’t think gender polarity is necessary to practice my faith, I also don’t think it warrants a battle in a tradition that has a broad, diverse and supportive worldview. I’ve heard GLBT clergy argue both for and against gender polarity, and heard feminists do the same.

I’m active in a Pagan church that practices gender polarity but I don’t feel that I have to bend to gender stereotypes to participate. It doesn’t feature prominently enough for it to be an issue for me. However, I cannot speak for others in my tradition, and they may believe quite strongly in gender polarity. We are all comfortable in our own skin and treat each other with respect and love, which is the most important thing for me.

I believe in Circle we are the God and Goddess, we are Zeus and Ganymede and we are the passion of Sappho all at once. We are human and the keepers of paradox. We are holy and we hold the sacred balance.