Sex in the Heathen World

As a Heathen, here’s my viewpoint:  sex is healthy.  Sex is sacred.  And as long as we’re not spreading disease, I don’t think people should be telling us what to do in our own sex lives. At all, no matter what.

I’ve used sex in my seidr-workings.  I think it’s a wonderful, powerful medium for doing workings.  I also think it can be misused, and I want to explain why/how.  There is nothing wrong with using your own inherent sexual power, to get your way in certain circumstances.  If your lover is with you voluntarily, creating sex working magic with you, I don’t think you can go wrong. However, if you’re trying sex working out in order to ensnare someone against their wishes, well, I have a bone to pick with that, and besides, if they don’t want you, why would you ever want them?

If you’re using sex-workings to control someone, then I personally think the ethics get a little hairy.  Now, as a Heathen, there’s nothing in the Eddas saying “don’t do this, don’t do that,” as there is in the christian bible.  It all comes down to personal ethics, and respect.

As a Heathen, I believe we should respect everything around us.    That includes the Earth, the land wights, the spirits, our ancestors, our fellow humans, all living creatures on this planet, and pretty much everything else.  As a Heathen reconstructionist, I don’t believe in the 3-fold law, (whatever you do will rebound on you, times 3).  The Eddas don’t tell me much about that sort of thing.

Here’s what I do believe:  justify your workings.  Don’t curse someone into oblivion because they told you your pants made you look fat one day.  Don’t make a huge working because you need a quick $20.  Make sure that what you ask the gods for, you deserve.  And that will go a long way towards making you conscientious about workings.

As far as respecting others, I’ve learned a lot down my path, primarily because one kindred I was a part of was very disrespectful of my sexual practices, and were very vocal about condemning me.  I found it sickening.  I was part of a group that I thought believed in the same kinds of religious (and sexual)  freedoms and tolerance I believed in, and I was terribly wrong.

This is what happened:  I had sex with one of the members of the kindred.  It was a one-off deal, and it wasn’t a major incident, and didn’t cause any ill will or drama between us.  Because of this, I saw absolutely no problem.

My kindred saw a huge problem, because the person I slept with was married.  However, they were in a marriage that was terribly unsuitable, made them unhappy, and was only surviving “for the children.” The person was also female, and that caused even more vitriol to be thrown my way.  Certain members of the kindred started calling me a “genetic dead end,” simply because I’d engaged in non-procreative sex.  Never mind that several male members of our kindred were completely sterile; I was the problem.  And I still don’t understand their reasoning.

Before I came out of the closet vocally, I’d had a boyfriend, who was also in the kindred.  The kindred had never had any problems with that relationship, in spite of the fact that I’d also slept with women while in this relationship, and that was a fairly well-known fact.  But as soon as I was single, they thought all the “homo” sex I was having was a major issue.  Especially when one other member of the kindred got involved.

I’m not sure what the moral of the story here is.  I ended my relationship with that kindred, because of their viewpoints, which saddened and angered me.  I’d left Christianity as a religion because it condemned me for being queer, and it really hurt to have my new family condemning me for the same crap, despite the fact that they claimed to be more liberal than that.

I also know that many members of the Heathen community don’t feel that way.  I wasn’t the only one who left the kindred over this incident; some of my friends did as well, in support of me, and also because of other differences and problems they’d faced within the kindred.

Here is what I know:  as pagans, and Heathens, and other types of Recons, we must support each other.  We have no room for intolerance within our ranks.  We are enough of a minority, without shutting out valuable and important community members for petty differences!   Love your fellow pagans, even if you think they’re really crazy, or don’t share the same views as you.  We’re all in this together, and if we don’t start supporting our communities, we’ll always be a fractured minority.  And that only helps the conservatives in this world who want us gone.  If we stand together, we will stand strong.

Velsignelser,

Muninn