The Numbing Effect of Disaster

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico overwhelms me. I can’t comprehend the enormity of it. It’s too big. I feel helpless, angry, betrayed and lost.

The fact that the Republicans apologized to BP is almost too absurd to take in. The Deepwater Horizon well is a relic of the Bush administration, and a sure sign of how little has changed since Obama was elected. We’re still in bed with Big Oil. We’re still bending over backwards to accommodate corporations and the little guy is suffering for it.

The Gulf won’t be the same for years, if ever. It’s a tragedy beyond the scope of my ability to comprehend it. Maybe one day I will be able to wrap my brain around it. After years of hearing stories, reading books and watching films I can finally wrap my brain around the Holocaust. I can see it’s scope and breadth and the ongoing trauma that lingers. The same for 9/11. It took us years to be able to see those events clearly, thoughtfully and even now we’re only just beginning to see how it affected us, changed us.

I can’t comprehend the oil spill in the Gulf yet. The news is non-stop and none of it is good. I’ve been dreaming the past few years of returning to Mama Ocean. To feel her salt spray on my skin and lie sun-warmed on her shores. Now I fear to find her frail, to find her strength, which could once topple me with a wave, is as unable to cope with this disaster as my puny abilities. I pray for her healing and pray I never face a future in which she is laid so low.