Liberty, Responsibility and Pagans

I’ve encountered a situation several times over the past few years and always admired my ability to resist temptation. Yet I keep encountering it, and this last time the situation lay before me I realized I obviously had a lesson to learn. Sometimes the Gods throw things at us in practice, to soften us up before the real lesson arrives. In my case, it’s learning to be open instead of closing myself from untidy opportunities.

Since returning from Pagan Spirit Gathering 2010 I’ve been struggling to understand my experience there, including how in such a safe, loving environment my own prudery was able to instill fear and doubt. I’m spending time incubating the experience, talking to my Gods and examining my values.

I’m an internet Pagan, of the younger generation who’s been fed off of websites and books far more often than from face-to-face interactions with other Pagans. I think my generation of Pagans is far more cautious and conservative than our predecessors. Reading books like Firechild and The Witches Bible, it certainly seems as if the older generation was far more adventurous. I certainly don’t know of groups that practice with that sense of adventure and fearlessness anymore.

As everyone is busy celebrating freedom this weekend, I’m going to spend some time considering how much liberty I give myself and how much I hold myself back from unwarranted fear. Am I really free? Is my spirit naked upon entering a rite? Or is it bound about with shields and fear? True, I will pay for my mistakes in this life, but I will also pay for missed opportunities, for a closed heart and for a bound soul.