Keep Your Occult Knowledge To Yourself, Please

“I know certain secret things…”

“I would be willing to be your secret adviser…”

“I am in contact with certain traditions who have certain knowledge…”

“I can’t say more here but if you want more information just contact me..”

Don’t you hate this? Why do people do this? Don’t they realize it’s creepy as hell?

It’s the Pagan and occult equivalent of a creep in a van trying to give candy to small children.

Frankly, I immediately tune out such people. It’s such a patronizing, arrogant attitude that I immediately lose any interest in conversing with them. While I’ve encountered women who also have this bizarre complex, it’s generally men who think this is somehow useful, attractive or makes them seem important. They are wrong. It makes them seem creepy and the only sensation it inflames in me is the sincere desire to scrub up with hot water and soap.

Nothing impresses me less than occult, secretive or oathbound knowledge. It’s generally disappointing, over-hyped and unoriginal. I say this as someone approaching initiation into Traditional Witchcraft, and facing classes full of memorizing oathbound material. I’m going through initiation for two reasons: I was never made to feel an outcast or left in the dark regarding the values of the tradition I’m initiating into, and because the proof of a tradition is in the people and I have a lot of respect for the people.

I expect I’ll learn a great deal and find a lot of value in what I learn after initiation, but I suspect that knowledge will come from the context of the people and experiences. That’s the real value of occult knowledge: the shared context of a living breathing community.

In the end, I truly believe most oathbound knowledge in Pagan traditions is very similar to my grandmother’s chocolate cake recipe. Maybe you might be able to decipher her handwriting and make a decent cake, but it won’t have the meaning, memories and special warm fuzzy feeling it gives me and my family. At any rate, I’m not giving you her recipe. It’s not occult but it’s none of your business.

So in essence, I have my own grandmother’s chocolate cake recipe, and I’m not impressed you want to whisper yours in my ear. It creeps me out, it creeps other people and it’s just… creepy…