Coffee With A Closeted Witch

Did you know that witches hang out at the CNN Center Food court? Well, they do. Or at least one of them does. You wouldn’t be able to pick her out in a crowd of business-dress professionals, which was what I was trying to do now.

A few weeks before my trip, we had set up a time and place to meet for a cup of coffee or tea that would be quick and convenient for both of us. She was dying to get caught up on all the Pagan community news and I was happy just to talk to her again. Other than that quick email, which should appear to anyone else as a business email, we hadn’t spoken in months.

Katie had just gone through a nasty divorce. Is there any other kind? I’m not sure, but what made this one so heartbreaking was that Katie decided to give up all outward signs she was practicing her religion out of fear she would lose custody of her daughter. During the legal battle she felt the judge was looking at her religion unfavorably and she wasn’t willing to take the risk.

Katie and her ex had met at an Open Circle, which is a religious service that anyone can join in as long as they are polite and respectful. Katie had already belonged to a coven for 3 years, but Jim had just begun his spiritual journey. After they dated for a few years, they decided to jump the broom and get married. Jim never did join a coven, but he continued to go to Open Circles and holiday events for almost the entire 4 years of their marriage.

About 2 years ago, after the birth of their daughter, Jim started attending a Baptist church. At first Katie encouraged him to go since she could see that Jim was still searching for his own spiritual path. Six months later the fights started. He called her religion demonic and said he wouldn’t allow their child to be tainted by evil. Katie was stunned. How could Jim have changed this much in such a short time? He was a sweet, shy man who most people classified as “easy-going”. Now he was contemptuous of anyone and anything that he thought was sinful. Then came the ultimatum from Jim: give up your religion or he would take their child and leave. If he loved her, how could he ask her to do this?

In order to explain to non-Pagan readers how devastating this proposition is, let me take just a moment to fill you in. The fellow members of a coven aren’t like members of a church. A coven is a very small group, usually under 14 people, and the bond you form with them is like a combination of best friends and family. Those Wiccans that have been in the military liken the coven bond to that of squad buddies who have saved each others’ lives during war. It’s that tight. For this reason, covens are very selective about who they allow to join. Prospective coveners can go through years of joining in semi-public actives before being asked to join, if they are ever asked. Of course, some people decide it just isn’t their thing and choose not to join a coven and happily remain a Solitary.

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