How Astrology is like Nascar

I was convinced to write this after a couple of different discussions regarding the recent “astrology controversy”. Everyone suddenly had an opinion on astrology. Well, I think astrology is just like Nascar. Here’s why:

• Mostly everything goes in a circle for a very long time, and when they complete one circuit they do it all again. And again. And again.
• Mostly nothing happens. Things just go in circles day in and day out.
• People are just waiting for something exciting to happen, like a car crash or a transit of Venus.
• Every sign/car has different correspondences. Dale Jr. is brought to you by Amp and Scorpio is sponsored by sex.
• All anyone remembers are the major sponsors/correspondences. No one pays any attention to that tiny patch from the shocks manufacturer or that Scorpio’s exaltation is in Uranus. (!)
• People diss other drivers/signs: Virgo’s are too uptight/Jeff Gordon is a wuss.
• Even if you don’t follow either astrology or Nascar you are aware of them.
• You have one friend who will bring up one or the other in almost every conversation.
• You have one friend who suddenly remembers an errand when either subject is brought up.
• People who are not into it just don’t get it.
• People who are into it can’t understand how other people could not be interested.
• Some folks bet on Nascar with money. People bet on astrology with their life decisions.
• Merchandise featuring your driver/sign is readily available and considered fashionable.
• Alcohol is consumed while watching races. Alcohol is consumed while asking people about their sign.
• Astrology once served a very practical purpose before it split from astronomy. Stock car racing once served a very practical purpose before it split away from bootlegging.
• Both Nascar and astrology are featured in every newspaper.
• Racing drivers are considered athletes. Astrologists are considered scientific. This is disputed by non-fans.
• Neither activity is eligible for either an Olympic sport or Nobel prize.
• Astrology places a lot of emphasis on where you were born. Nascar places a lot of emphasis on poll position.

I’m sure there are more things the two have in common. Feel free to point out connections I may have missed!