The third ‘rule‘ of pilgrim life is to Get Lost.
Halloween of 2017 I was vis iting family in Albuquerque. I decided to climb Sandia Peak. The trail was obvious, the sun bright. Halfway up I saw frost on the trail, which then turned to snow, and then ice on large rocks.
Relieved to reach the top, I followed the sign to the cable car which would take me back down. It was closed. Not a soul was in sight. Going back down was out of the question, but how else to get back?
Even when you know where you are, you can be lost when you have no idea how to get back.
I remembered there was a visitor center was up there somewhere. My map told me which direction, but there was no road. Dead reckoning was my only choice, meaning pointing in the general direction and correcting as I go. Through mud and over fallen trees, I made my way in what I hoped was the right direction. Not until I saw the building was I sure.
The experience of getting lost is powerful.
Ever since getting lost as a kid I have felt a deep dread of being lost. Because of that I have allowed myself to get lost many times since. Only in late adulthood have I discovered that it is spiritually valuable. Henry David Thoreau discovered this. “Not till we are lost… do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.”
Real change of a spiritual kind requires losing yourself,
because you have to relinquish staying where you are to go where you want to go. To get lost is to lose yourself not just your bearings. Am I me in a place utterly different?
Each physical pilgrimage journey I take is a reminder of that, and of the fact that no matter where I end up, where I have been is still with me. You could say that pilgrim life is spiritual dead reckoning through life.
Two more to go.