What Does it take to Become A Spiritual Athlete?

In December 2015, Pope Francis approved a second miracle attributed to Mother Teresa of Calcutta, thus sealing her path to sainthood – possibly in September of this year. But what many may not know, is that it was, for many years, a dark and lonely path.

Although her life has been well documented, it wasn’t until the publication of her memoirs, Come, Be My Light in 2007, that we learned of her “crisis of faith.” The last 50 years of her life where she persistently felt the absence of God.

In essence her interior life turned barren. A few years after her “inner locution” on the train, when she distinctly heard the voice of Jesus directing her to minister to the poor, any sense of God’s presence seemed very remote. As she noted to her spiritual director:

In my soul I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.

Her critics felt a certain smugness: Underneath it all, they conjectured, she was an agnostic, doubting the existence of God. Those who revered her “saintliness” were perplexed: How could this happen to her? How could a woman of such exceptional generosity, faith and service, not be rock solid in her sense of God’s presence and providence?

How indeed? Well let’s look at it this way: how could such a crisis of faith not happen to her. All the great mystics, saints, and prophets down the ages, at one point or another went through what St. John of the Cross called a Dark Night of the Soul – a period (short or prolonged) when one’s prayer life, meditations, experience of God’s presence, and overall spiritual life, suddenly dry up leaving one feeling forsaken and very alone.

If you’re Christian you may be familiar with the crucifixion scene from Matthew’s gospel where Jesus (hanging on the cross) cries out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46) – that’s an intense experience of what St. John meant by a dark night of the soul.

Spiritual Athlete

Mother Teresa, like many great saints and spiritual warriors, was – what Ron Rolheiser calls – a Spiritual Athlete. Her depth of spiritual wisdom, faith, and humanity came at a price – even if never publicly expressed or disclosed in her lifetime.  And that price was those periods of not feeling the presence of God in many areas of her spiritual life. 

And therein lies the key: not feeling the presence of God does not mean the absence of God; but rather exemplifies the ebb and flow pattern of the spiritual life. What St. Ignatius of Loyola (founder of the Jesuits) referred to as Consolation and Desolation. The deeper one goes in one’s spiritual and prayer life, the more likely it is for one to experience these inter-weaving energies.

Experiencing them does not necessarily mean that we are spiritual athletes! It simply means that we are human and therefore subject to periodic wrestling with/adjusting to dark nights of the soul. A good spiritual director/mentor is advisable at times like these.

Our Core Essence

We are – at core – angelic beings! Perhaps not spiritual athletes; but we have the creative potential to be so much more than we often believe. Remember we are unique and compelling expressions of the divine – who just need a little dusting down and spiritual tweaking every now and then!

Image Insert: Evert Odekerken/Wikipedia Commons